Zero My Hero// Number 5 x Reader

Dates and Donuts (17)

After their conversation, Vanya leaves the couple to their thoughts. Five feels his caffeine withdrawals and asks Y/N to follow him on a quest to go get coffee. This leads them to where we are now.

Five angrily slams the pantry door. Pogo, he for the love of Christ, tell me there's coffee somewhere. Five begs.

Your father didn't believe in caffeine.

Of course, he didn't. The boy hops down, heads toward the garage. I'm taking the car into town.

Allison is astonished, Do you even know how to drive?

I know how to do everything. Five retorts.

Except how to use chopsticks, snickers Y/N. Five glares at her. Don't be mad that I am superior, she replies laughing. He sighs, he loved this woman, but man did she drive him crazy.

C'mon Y/N, he says, it'll be a date.

Y/N smiles and does a happy dance.

Finally a date without that freakin' mannequin, she cheers. Yes, Delores was a friend of Y/N but she also wanted privacy sometimes. Not to mention the Commission had a strict no dating policy, so it's safe to say Y/N was ecstatic. They walk to the car. Leaving Allison confused and Pogo with a knowing smile.

The pair hears the car as it screams out of the garage. It swerves dangerously onto the lawn, digging deep furrows into the grass, before righting itself and speeding away into the night.

The diner is mostly deserted: a handful of customers, and a tired-looking waitress, Five and Y/N sit at the counter, signals for the Waitress. The Waitress mistakes the now young couple for the customer on their lefts children.

What would you kids like? She asks sweetly.

The kid wants coffee, black. Five deadpans then smiles a fake smile. I'll take some juice Y/N says politely. The man pays for their drinks before leaving.

This is nice says Y/N sipping her juice. The Temps enter in the background. The boy doesn't turn. But somehow, he knows. He picks up his butterknife, hides it from sight. Y/N sets down her juice and puts her hand on Five's shoulder. The Waitress gapes at the new arrivals. Customers scurry out the back. The Temps stop behind Number Five. A beat.

You two don't belong here. One of the men says

Is that supposed to be a joke? Y/N asks.

We don't want any trouble. We just want you to finish the job. He aims his PULSE RIFLE at the back of the boy's skull. This doesn't have to get messy.

You didn't bring enough men for "messy." The Lead Temp's hand is shaking, ever so slightly. Fuck it, he squeezes the trigger. The counter blows apart in a spray of shrapnel-- But the couple is already gone, blinking out of existence-- And reappearing on the Lead Temp's back. He plunges the butter knife into the agent's neck-- The other Temps panic, open fire on their own boss, cutting him to ribbons. The duo blinks away again-- they reappear, sliding across the floor, right between the legs of a Temp...plucking the man's gun out of his ankle holster...firing severals shots upward...BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLINK! Five and Y/N reappear in mid-air, parkour-bouncing off the nearest wall, roundhouse kicking a Temp in the face-- BLINK! they reappear in the kitchen. One of the Temps opens fire, spraying the kitchen with BLUE PLASMA-- BLINK! The boy appears, whipping a FRYING PAN like a discus-- SSSSHUNK! The handle of the frying pan IMPALES a Temp against the wall, quivering in his forehead-- BLINK! BLINK! BLINK! The pair pops in and out of existence, fighting hand-to-hand with two Temps simultaneously. One of the Temps glances down and panics. All the grenades on his bandolier have somehow been primed. BLINK! The boy appears behind him, mule kicks the back of the Temp's head... Sends him pinwheeling headfirst into the second agent. WHUMP! A dull explosion lights up the interior of the diner. Debris rains across the parking lot. In a matter of seconds, the entire diner has been reduced to rubble. The floor slick with blood and debris. Fir spreading along the walls. The air thick with toxic smoke. Number Five and Y/N pick their way through the carnage, drenched with the blood but otherwise untouched. One last Temp agent is still clinging to life. Number Five calmly takes the man's head in the crook of his arm Number Five brutally SNAPS his neck. The agent falls still. The boy looks around, chest heaving, eyes feral.

ANYONE ELSE? Five screams angered about not finishing his coffee or his date. A section of the ceiling collapses behind them. The couple leaves onto their next adventure.