Naked

Girl on top

LANE's POV:

After Dan was done I quickly stood up trying to avoid the cuddle that follows after sex. I try to avoid those.

Why? Because the last thing you want is to feel comfy and safe enough in the arms of the man that has no plan to stay and love you.

I thought I was quick enough but Dan managed to pushed me back to bed.

' Dan. Aren't we Dan'? I said jokingly.

' trying to be funny, are we? Let me make you feel funny.' Dan said as he slowly started kissing me passionately.

Slowly moving the kisses to my neck. He knows exactly where to put that lips of his.

I started moaning in pleasure. He starting kissing my shoulder, until he the kisses went lower. To my boobs. My nipples. My tummy. And lower....

And lower....

He passed my pussy and instead went to my thighs and legs. Teasing me enough for me to think

'JUST FUCK ME ALREADY. PLEASE'

He looked at me teasingly. As if he knows how I'm dying for him to taste me. He started kissing my pussy lips. I can feel my own wetness as he softly caress me. I feel his tongue circling around my clit. I went crazy and blank as soon as Dan started eating me out.

I moaned loud as he insert a finger inside me while eating me out. I held him tight and tried to moan gently. But screamed as soon as he inserted another finger. He found my spot and fingered me faster and harder.  I wrapped my legs around him. Going crazy as he licks me faster. Cleaning me well. Making me all wet.

If orgasm leads to death I would have been cremated by now.

And just like that, the pleasure Dan gave me sent me straight to heaven.

Such a dirty naughty girl I am.

I stopped Dan and pushed him in bed. I kissed him hungrily. I went on top of him. He started sucking my tits while I ride him.

Girl on top.

That's what I am right now. Literally. On top of Dan. He finds it the sexiest when I'm in control. I can adjust the pace. I could go slow or fast. All up to me. Sometimes when I let go of myself, I can see Austin instead.

To tell you the truth, I'm scared. I'm scared of forgetting his face. His smell. His smile. His voice. How he taste. How he is. I'm scared. So I try to close my eyes everytime. Because I know in my memory, he will always be there. Where I can visit it as often as I like. I can stay there. And be with him.

I can still remember one of my conversations when I was able to get a hold of him.

'Do you still think of me?' I asked Austin.

He didnt say anything at first.

'I do. Every day.' He replied.

Ugh. Why now. Why am I thinking of that all of sudden? This is just ruining the mood.

I snapped out of it and looked at Dan's face. His eyes closed. Enjoying every bit of it. I couldn't continue looking at his face.

I stopped and started kissing him instead. I tried to remove Austin from my mind. I went down on Dan and gently grabbed his dick. Preparing myself to suck him dry.

Right.

The only thing getting fucked now is me. And not my heart.

So I stopped thinking of Austin and focus myself with what I was doing with Dan. Until the blowjob led to another fucking. Until another fucking led to another cuddling sesh. Until the cuddles turns into feelings... Again.

' whats with you? What were you thinking? Austin again?' Dan curiously asked.

' when you fuck me, do you really see me or do you see someone else?' I replied.

' I think of someone else. I think of her..'

Ouch... I wish I never asked.

' but hey, it's fine right? I mean. We're honest with each other. No strings attached remember? We're happy like this. I like it that way. You know I don't wanna date anyone just yet. I'm just not ready for that' he continued.

'Yeah.. I know'

I know. But that's not what I feel.. I said to myself.

Anyone knows that I just dont wanna date anyone yet is a code for I'm not into you.

This bs that I do with Dan. Makes me feel so high like I'm the girl on top of the world. How can one of the best feelings in the world makes you feel this shit?

How can 'love' hurt this much?

Am I really that unworthy and undeserving for his attention? When will I learn to stop? When will I stop thinking of Austin?

When will the questions be answered?

***