Yellow Ribbon

Chapter Eleven

Panay lamang ang aking sulyap kay Joji sa malayo. Nasa kabilang dulo sya ng garden na tinuturuan sina ate A na magtanim habang ako dio ay nagsisimula nang kumalkal ng malalim sa lupa. He said his greetings last night, but I was so bothered to his facial reactions that I didn’t get enough sleep because of over-thinking.

I sighed. Ibinalik ko na lamang ang tingin sa lupang kinakalkalmko.

“May problema ba, Den?” sumulyap ako kay ate Dynne.

“Wala naman po.”

“Sigurado ka?” tumango lamang ako.

I feel really uneasy. I still question my decisions. Halatang iniiwasan niya rin ako o ako ang umiiwas sa kanya? Ngumuso ako. Nakakabaliw pala ito. Hindi pa nga nagsisimula yung relasyon naming dalawa, umiiwas na kami sa isa’t-isa.

“How about you talk to him? You seem really bothered. Kanina rin nang mag-almusal tayo.”

Tinignan ko si ate Dynne. Sya ang naglalagay ng buto ng sunflower habang ako ang taga-bungkal. Sinulyapan ko ulit kung nasaan si Joji, hindi ko rin inaasahang dito sa gawi ko ang tingin niya. Kumunot lamang ang kanyang noo pagkatapos ay umiwas lamang ng kinausap ni ate Rheena.

“Okay lang ako ate.” malamya ang aking boses. Tumikhim na lamang ako.

“I was even shock that you already have your boyfriend. Most especially, in his age.”

Binalingan ko ulit si ate Dynne. Nakatingin na sya sa akin, ang mga butong hawak ay nilipat-lipat niya sa dalwang kamay niya. Nakangiti ito, ngunit ang kanyang mga mata ay pumupungay.

Planting was the assigned activity for today. Ate Jan’s husband planned out our activities for a week. Joji and uncle Fish was the assigned stuff to accommodate us including his wife since we all know ate Jan only wants to do things on her own will.

Unexpectedly, ate Jan was exempted to this activity. Uncle Fish and Joji was the one teaching us how to plant. He will give us some assignment according to what has been told to him by his brother. Hindi na rin kami nagreklamo pa. We also want to experience planting.

Kaya kahit ang dami kong iniisip hanggang ngayon. Nope, rephrase that, isang bagay lamang pero naguguluhan na ang utak ko kaya pakiramdam ko madami akong iniisip. I rolled my eyes.

Kailangan ko lamang ibigay ang atensyon ko sa ginagawa para makalimutan ko ang iniisip ko. Sa tanang buhay ko, ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng iniisip na pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako.

“Is it wrong to like him, ate Dynne?” tanong ko. Binaba ang tingin sa ginagawa.

“Hindi naman. Its unusual. At my age, girls flocks with older men. In your age, we only settled to those boys with the same age.” nilagyan niya ng buto ang butas na bagong gawa ko lamang, pagkatapos ay nilagyan ulit ng lupa.

“It was okay. Your timing was the only wrong here.” kumunot ang noo ko.

Kailangan pa ba nun? I waited for him for years. Its only fair that I answered him immediately. Nahalata niya atang hindi ko naintindihan ang sinabi niya. Ngumiti muna sya sa akin. Kahit nakakunot ang noo, tinapos ko ang pagbungkal at gumawa nanaman ng bago sa tabing lupa nito. Nagpatuloy lamang sya sa pagsaasalita.

“Alam ko ang kwento niyong dalawa. Everyone here knows that since you told us about your story. It was a surprise that he’s just near to you. As of now, it was wrong to answer him when you’re still confuse. I’m not at the right spot to judge, but I just want to say that you were a bit selfish and it doesn't mean that you both waited that you have to immediately answer him." nagulat ako doon.