Chapter 13

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Hey hey, hope everyone is good!
Sorry I haven't updated sooner. There is no excuse. I was just distracted 😂

WARNING:
This chapter has warnings for violence.

Enjoy!
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Illyria headed back to her room, grateful that nobody was inside and began cleaning. She was so angry. Angry at herself and at Levi, but mostly angry at herself. She was confused, angry and even hurt. Why was she hurt? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything right now. She was feeling so many mixed intense emotions.

Last night had been fun. She had never felt anything like that in all her life. So much excitement, so much pleasure. But this morning, it just felt like everything had gone wrong. Levi had mentioned about her staying the night, apparently not happy about it, even though he himself had admitted that if he wanted to wake her, he would have... indicating that he didn’t really want her to leave. She couldn’t figure him out. He had been so sweet last night, then it felt like he couldn’t wait to get rid of her this morning. She had even offered to go back later and he had flat out turned her down. That had hurt quite a bit.

She didn’t know what she expected from him. But she had expected something. They had had sex last night for fucks sake! That wasn’t something that usually happened, well not with her at least. She wasn’t sure how many times something like this had occurred with the captain. A part of her really didn’t want to know.

And then he had been so sweet last night, even slightly playful. Illyria had never seen him act that way before. It was refreshing, nice. He had let her stay. Then this morning, it was like he had turned into a completely different person. No, not different... just his usual self, the sort of person Illyria was used to dealing with.

She really thought he would have taken her up on her offer of some company later. Not that she expected anything else to happen, but she figured he would at least use the opportunity to talk about what happened. Illyria wasn’t a total fool. She was aware that what happened last night had very much been heat of the moment, a primal desire that had been ignited in both of them simultaneously that neither of them had the will to push away. And that was fine...

But then why did his rebuke hurt so much? Why was she thinking about the way he had tended to her with such fondness? Why did she feel so confused? So angry?

She continued to scrub away at her room for hours, until her fingers were red raw and then she headed downstairs for dinner, realising most of her day off had passed. She sat herself down with her friends, Historia shrieking and hugging her tightly.

“Oh my god where the hell have you been? I was worried sick about you!” she exclaimed, making Illyria chuckle.

“Alright mom, sorry.” She teased the blonde, making the smaller girl pout and fold her arms defiantly.

“Where were you? You’ve been gone since we got back from the mission last night. Eren said the captain left with you, what happened?” Upon hearing the mention of the captain, Illyria instinctively looked towards his table, noticing he was sat with Erwin and Hanji. As if on cue, Levi looked over and their eyes met. Illyria quickly tore her gaze away, focusing on Historia's questions.

“Erm, nothing. He needed to talk to me about my performance on the field, that’s all.” She said, feeling increasingly uncomfortable with needing to lie. Illyria hated lying. She had always been one to tell the truth regardless of if it hurt, or upset or even angered people. But this... there was no way she could admit to what had happened last night, in a room full of people, not when the captain was watching her so intently.

Suddenly, Historia's eyes widened to the size of plates and she pinched the collar to Illyria’s shirt, tugging roughly.

“Oh my god, what happened to your neck!” she exclaimed loudly, grabbing the attention of everyone at the dinner table and half the cafeteria. Illyria blinked, the look on Historia's face one of pure horror and concern. Illyria reached up, touching her neck where the blondes gaze had fallen, wincing slightly when she felt a slight pain there. Immediately her eyes widened and then narrowed as realisation dawned on her.

Levi.

Historia was continuing her inspection, noticing several more marks around her neck and shoulder area and she shook her head.

“Oh my god... Illyria where did you go last night?” she asked, mortified by the sight. Illyria growled, pulling herself away from the blonde who looked at her disbelievingly.

“Is... that a man’s shirt?” Illyria visibly rolled her eyes, smacking Historia’s hand away. Could this get any worse? Her gaze flitted over to the captain for a brief second. He observed the scene before him, smirk present on his lips as he watched Illyria shuffle uncomfortably under all the questions. She grit her teeth, fixing him with a murderous glare but he just arched an eyebrow, smiling at her smugly, clearly entertained. Eren chuckled at Historia’s horrified expression.

“Well, at least she will be more agreeable to be around now.” He teased, making Illyria turn her glare to him while Historia blushed wildly. Illyria narrowed her eyes at her brunette friend.

“Fuck you, Eren.” She spat viciously, not amused with his joke at all but he just laughed more.

“No, clearly someone fucked you last night, not me.” Historia blushed even more, shouting at Eren to be quiet. Illyria ran a hand through her hair. This was not what she needed. She had to get away, quickly. Standing to her feet she made to leave the table. Historia shot her a soft look.

“He was just joking Illyria, come on, come and eat with us.” She tried to pacify the seething woman but Illyria would have none of it. She was not particularly mad at Eren, she knew if the roles would have been reversed, she would have acted exactly the same. But by pretending she was mad, it gave her an excuse to go off in a mood, and leave the table. She ignored the blonde and began walking away.

“That bad huh?” she heard Eren call jokingly. She heard Historia slap him up the head and smiled quietly to herself as she left and headed for her room, thankful to get away.

Historia asked no further questions. Eren made no further remarks, and the next couple of days passed as normal. When it came to training with the captain, Illyria gave her all like she did every training session. She was still sore from the other night, but refused to let it show. The captain ignored her, treating her exactly the same as he treated every other cadet, which bothered Illyria more than she wanted to admit.

It didn’t take long for Illyria to get in trouble again. But this time, it was serious trouble. And it was with the commander.

Illyria had been in the courtyard, practicing on the training dummy before training ensued. Sasha, one of her close friends, had come running outside, carrying a bag and looking far too excited. Illyria smiled, she hadn’t seen Sasha in a while. The woman was prone to getting into trouble with stealing food and had only been released from seven days in the dungeon that morning.

“Illyria! Look what I found!” she opened up the bag and Illyria peeked inside. Finding an entire bag full of food. Potatoes, rice, beans, even some meat. Illyria looked up at the excited woman who was bouncing happily.

“Sasha you did not find that!” she hissed. She couldn’t believe this girl! She was on her final warning for theft. If she was caught stealing food once more she would be in serious trouble. Captain Levi had caught her more times than she cared to remember and the commander had caught her twice, informing her that if he caught her again, she would be out of the survey corps.

“Sure I did! I found it on the floor in the stock room! I missed breakfast and I haven’t eaten a potato in so long! It was calling to me!” Illyria shook her head in disbelief.

“Sasha, if you get caught with that...” she trailed off, letting the severity of her words sink in. But Sasha wasn’t listening. It was a shame she was so driven by food. Sasha was a very capable soldier when her mind was focused on something other than her stomach. Illyria could practically see the drool dripping down her face as she thought of the meal in her arms. Illyria shook her head, snatching the bag from her and quickly pushing her friend back before she had time to snatch it back off her.

“Hey!” Illyria shook her head.

“No Sasha! This isn’t funny.” Illyria warned. Sasha looked like she was going to break down but Illyria didn’t care. She was doing this for her friend.

It just so happened that at that precise moment, the rest of the cadets started to come out, along with the captain and the commander. Illyria winced, glancing over to Sasha who now looked like she was about to piss herself from fear. Illyria pressed her lips together, eyeing the bag in her hand. She couldn’t let Sasha take the wrap for this. If she did, Sasha was done for. She'd be kicked out of the survey corps in an instant, especially with the commander being there. She growled slightly.

“Stay here!” she hissed, and she ran across the courtyard and into the stables, planning on stashing the food somewhere until the commander was gone and then hopefully finding a way to return the food before anyone noticed it was gone. Nobody would get in trouble, no damage would be done. It was the perfect plan. Until the commander came into the stables.

“Where’s the fire, Illyria?” he asked, a small smile on his face. Illyria turned to face him and his eyes narrowed at the bag.

“What do you have there?” he asked. That was it. Illyria now had several choices. She could explain the situation and get Sasha kicked out of the regiment. She could claim that she stole the bag. Or she could claim she found it. The problem with that, was if the commander saw her with the bag outside, he would know she was lying... and that would make him suspect her as the thief anyway.

Of course she could say she found it outside... but then why did she run? But there was no way she could drop Sasha in it. She breathed a small sigh, resigning to the fact that she would need to take the flack for this. Hopefully the commander was feeling generous and would assign her some cleaning duties.

Illyria held out the bag to the commander and he took it, examining its contents. His big brows furrowed slightly.

“Food? How peculiar... you have never stolen anything, Illyria... where did you get this?” Illyria grit her teeth. She was going to have to lie, and it was going to need to be convincing. She hated Sasha for this right now, that girl would be making it up to her for months!

“I took it, sir. From the stock room.” The commanders eyes widened slightly and his face hardened.

“Is that so?” he didn’t sound convinced. He didn’t know Illyria well personally, but he knew enough of her history to know that was not one of her downsides. If a fight kicked off, then Illyria would have either instigated it, or be involved in some way shape or form. But theft?

Illyria nodded.

“Yes sir.” The commander observed her quietly for a moment. Illyria was convinced that he didn’t buy her lie, but she stood firm.

“Follow me.” He commanded as he turned and left the stables. Illyria obeyed, following him to the courtyard where the rest of the recruits had started their training, flashing Sasha the angrily glare she could muster.

“Attention!” the commander bellowed and everyone froze, looking at him in mild confusion. Illyria closed her eyes. What the fuck was she thinking? But it was too late to go back now, if she admitted the truth, the commander would punish her for lying. She was screwed either way now.

“Apparently, we have a thief amongst us...” the commander held up the satchel and several cadets frowned. The commander gave a small wave of his hand and two guards approached Illyria, gripping her by each arm and shoulder firmly. For once, Illyria did not fight them. Levi stole a sideways glance at Illyria, his eyes telling her that he also did not believe her charade. Sasha shifted uncomfortably and Illyria fixed her with a hard glare, silently warning her to hold it together. Levi noticed and shook his head as he turned his attention back to the commander.

Erwin continued to speak, explaining what he had seen and what he had been told and Illyria looked around. Everyone was staring at her, some with accusatory gazes, some with sympathetic ones, some with no emotion whatsoever. She shook her head, sighing loudly. Erwin turned his attention to a wooden box to his right.

“You are aware of the rules, are you not Illyria? You are aware of the standards and practices we adhere to here?” Illyria nodded her head, taking a deep breath. She knew there was no getting out of this. She was in shit. Even though she hadn’t committed the crime itself, she had admitted to it, which made her guilty. And even if people didn’t believe her, even if the commander himself didn’t believe her lie, deceit was also a punishable offence. In a regiment that relies so heavily on trust, being deceptive is just a big a crime as theft.

But she wouldn’t argue with it. She knew this was her own fault, and she was never one to shy away from punishment when it was warranted. This was definitely warranted.

“Illyria?” the commander looked at her, waiting for her response. Illyria strengthened her resolve.

“Yes sir.” He nodded, his hand reaching into the box and sifting through it.

“And you are aware that you are to be punished for your actions today?” again, Illyria nodded her head.

“Yes sir.” The commander nodded and indicated to the whipping post on the other side of the courtyard.

“Tie her up.” He commanded and the two guards who held Illyria gave her a firm push. Illyria understood exactly what was going on. She was going to be publically whipped. She had seen countless people go through this, both in the markets and here at the base, but she had never had to endure it. Sasha herself had been given this treatment once. She felt incredibly nervous, not sure whether this was a good idea or not, considering the last time she had been beaten with a belt had not exactly had the desired effect. But she would rather go through this than see Sasha kicked from the regiment.

The guards secured her wrists in iron cuffs, throwing the chain the cuffs were attached to over the top of the post and pulling, forcing her arms up above her head and they secured the chain. Illyria took a deep breath, her heart hammering in her chest. She was pulled flush against the post, feet only just touching the floor, arms already hurting a little from being pulled so violently. Almost her whole body weight being held up by her arms and shoulders. She turned to the commander, noticing he was holding the cat o’ nine tails in his hand.

Her blood ran cold and she swallowed thickly. The commander sure didn’t mess around. He had an air of indifference about him as he lifted his eyes to meet Illyria’s, and then, he did something that nobody, including Illyria, expected him to do.

He held the cat out to Levi.

Levi, was clearly caught off guard, blinking and looking at the commander with a slightly shocked expression. Illyria’s apparent surprise was a lot more obvious. She had expected the commander to do it himself. Levi looked at Illyria, reluctantly taking the flogger in his hand.

“I think fifteen lashes should do it, Captain.” The commander stated, folding his arms and Levi raised an eyebrow, examining the flogger in his hand.

“Bit extreme, don’t you think?” he questioned, taking the thin straps in his fingers and toying with them a little. The commander didn’t take his eyes off Illyria, tilting his head to the side and began to walk to the side.

“I’m letting her keep her shirt on to save the embarrassment. Maybe we should strip her down and take off five lashes instead?” The commander asked and Levi pressed his lips together, he knew the commander could have a bit of a vicious, sadistic streak when it suited him. He tilted his head back and clicked the bones in his neck, straightening himself up as he took several steps towards Illyria.

Illyria trembled, nerves wracking her entire body. Levi moved closer, checking the chains and ensuring she was secure. He placed his hand to the back of her head, pushing her head forward so that her cheek was pressed against the post.

“Keep your head bent. Keep your eyes shut. Understand?” his voice was even but held a hint of concern. Illyria nodded. She had seen just how bad these things could get. She had seen people pass out, lose an eye, all kinds. She was terrified. She felt Levi remove his hand from her head and take a few steps back.

Levi, was not looking forward to this. There had been several times in the past where the commander had instructed him to punish cadets for their actions, the commander didn’t seem to like getting his hands dirty. But this was something else.

Levi cared for this woman. He didn’t know the extent to which he cared, but he knew he did. He knew she was mad at him right now, and he didn’t blame her. But what was worrying him the most right now, was her reactions to pain. Usually, she would enjoy being smacked with a belt. But this... this was different. He knew it would be different, and he also didn’t think Illyria understood that. The last thing he wanted, was to hurt her. And yet he knew he was about to, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He grit his teeth, quietly examining the cat in his hand, staring at the back of the auburn haired woman in front of him. He gave his head a quick shake and his fingers tightened around the handle in a deathly grip.

“Today, Captain.” The commander spoke and Levi looked at him. His eyes colder than usual, then he pulled his arm back and swung at the cadet with force, bringing the straps down across her back.

Illyria’s whole body jolted, eyes widening at the sensation. It was familiar, but also very different. She had never been whipped before, and had never been struck on her back. But before she had chance to try and adjust to the feeling, she heard Erwin give the order for Levi to strike her again.

Levi did as he was told. On the third strike Illyria’s body had decided, she did not like this sensation. She threw her head back as a cry ripped from her throat. Her eyes immediately filled with tears and she knew her skin had been torn. She had never felt anything like this. This pain, it was more than what she had ever experienced before. She could barely catch her breath and her skin burnt again, but this wasn’t a pleasurable burning. It felt like she had been sliced open in multiple places with a hot knife or blade.

She began to pant. Her feet barely touched the  ground, which meant her skin was stretched taut, increasing the damage inflicted by the whip. It also centred her weight in her shoulders, ensuring an even more painful experience.

Levi paused, trying to give her time to collect herself. Her shirt, had several tears in it already from the force of his hits and he could see blood beginning to seep through the thin material. When Erwin urged him on, he rapidly administered another three blows. Illyria howled in pain, not expecting the blows to come so quickly. She couldn’t wait for this to be over.

One of the strikes from the cat slashed against her face as Levi brought it down over her right shoulder and Illyria screamed, quickly remembering Levi’s advice and shielding her face against the wooden post. She felt blood trickle from her cheek and bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears.

Illyria lost count of the amount of strikes she had received but at one point her legs gave out and the chain slipped from the top of the post. She fell to the floor on her knees, head resting against the pole, tears streaming down her face, barely able to breathe. Her arms rested at her sides and she was sweating.

“Get her up.” The commanders voice cut through the air and Illyria heard footsteps and then felt fingers grip into her arm and hoist her back up to her feet. She stumbled, almost collapsing against the man and swallowed thickly, trying to regain her strength.

“Hold on to the post.” Levi’s voice instructed softly and Illyria’s breathing hitched as her nails dug lightly into the post. Illyria heard one of the guards readjust the chain as Levi held on to her, supporting her weight. Once she was secured Levi slowly released her, taking a few steps back. Illyria pressed her cheek against the post, shielding her face again and braced herself.

Levi gave her the final three lashes and Illyria sobbed, voice cracking, legs giving in again.

“Good. Release her.” The commander instructed and the guard went to Illyria, releasing her from the cuffs, letting her fall to the ground. Illyria was too weak to try and hold herself up. She lay on her side, her entire upper body on fire. There were the rare times where the strap had wrapped around her body and sliced at her ribs or stomach so she hurt. A lot.

She opened her eyes and they immediately met with Levi’s, who was kneeling at her side, reaching down to help her to her feet. Illyria winced.

“Get her cleaned up.” Levi looked up to meet the commanders eyes and then helped Illyria to her feet. She was unsteady, leaning against the captain as she shuffled forward. Levi led her away from the courtyard and into the castle.

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I'm not sure on this chapter. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to update... I know it's necessary for the plot etc, but still... I'm not sure.

God I spent hours researching for this chapter! 😂

Anyway, vote/comment if you liked it etc!

I may try and get another chapter up tonight

Lots of love

Xxx

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