imallexx x memeulous // 【ｔｒｙ】✔

【ｎｕｍｂ】

alex's heart sunk.

in an instant, he felt numb.

niall wasn't dead. he couldn't be dead.

but as much as he pretended he didn't hear it, george's voice rang in his ears.

niall's dead.

niall's dead.

niall's dead.

no, no, no, no, no!

this had to be some type of sick joke!

niall couldn't be dead, alex had just seen him a few weeks ago. 

sure, he was standoffish and quiet, but that didn't make him dead.

niall wasn't dead!

alex wanted to walk up to george and tell him he was lying. tell him that he was making a joke. but as alex tried to walk, he felt a random surge of pain run through him and he started to fall.

luckily, george caught him and pulled him into a hug.

but as he was clinging onto the man's sweatshirt, reality set in like a tsunami, hitting alex with a sea of emotions.

"niall's dead," alex sobbed into george's chest, not even caring that the two were on the floor.

george didn't speak, he just held on to alex like a lifeline.

the two stayed on the floor for a good 5 minutes before george's voice filled the kitchen.

it was hoarse but still soft and sweet. 

like candy floss.

except now alex didn't want candy floss. he wanted to hear niall's voice.

"c'mon... will wants us to come over, he's really upset,"  george spoke as he stood up, helping alex to his feet.

alex barely even realised he was now standing.

he didn't feel himself standing.

he felt empty.

he felt numb.

the car ride was a quiet one, the two still unable to comprehend what had happened over the past hour.

their friend was dead and they had confessed to being afraid of loving each other.

if alex thought that niall's death had shaken him up, he clearly hadn't seen will.

will just wasn't the first person to find out that niall had died, no he had been in niall's house when he looked out the window to see the man jump from the second-story window.

it took some time, but george and alex had finally pried out the information from will.

apparently, will had gone to niall's house to borrow one of his monitors, for he had broken his.

will said that when he arrived he couldn't help but notice that niall was really shaky. like, he was sick. he was sweating and his shirt was drenched in it. will pointed this out to the man, for which he responded, "yeah, alex took my meds the day he got hit, so i bought some but i think there the wrong kind, i've had like 6 of them and they've done nothing."

hearing niall say those words made will's body tense up, but before he could say anything, niall announced that he was going to look for the monitor upstairs.

"and then i turned to the window and saw niall's body fall right before he hit the ground."

after will had finished, alex had forgotten about anything else anyone said.

he didn't even hear james or fraser come inside the house.

all he could hear was will's voice.

"yeah, alex took my meds the day he got hit, so i bought some but i think there the wrong kind, i've had like 6 of them and they've done nothing."

alex's mind kept repeating that sentence over and over.

he did it so much that will's voice slowly morphed into niall's.

"alex took my meds."

alex didn't realise it, but he was hyperventilating.

thankfully, george's warm hand on his made him snap back to reality.

alex looked down at his hand in george's.

"i killed him," was the only thing he could mutter.

george looked at alex.

"what?"

"i killed niall."

will, fraser, and james turned around from their conversation on the sofa.

"what's wrong now?" will asked, his voice sounding tired.

"i took niall's meds. i- i killed him!" alex screamed, his voice cracking.

he could feel george's hand squeeze his.

"alex what are you on about? you didn't kill him, he had a lot of-"

"shut up george! can't you see it? i fucking killed him, it's all my fucking fault!" alex screamed frantically throwing his hands in the air as if to show his frustration.

george's facial expression went from calm to pissed in a matter of seconds.

alex could feel george grab his arm, attempting to make him calm down.

"george stop it, i- i fucking killed him can't you see tha-"

george whipped his head around.

"alex are you fucking stupid? it's not all about you! you're not the only one upset about this, fucking idiot! can't you see that we're all in pain?! we're just trying to keep it together by not screaming!" george yelled,  his face close to alex's.

alex could feel his body start to shake.

george had never yelled at him like that before.

the whole house fell silent, james, will and fraser staring at their friends in astonishment.

george had never acted like this before.

he never had a temper, the closest time he came to yelling was when will broke his yugioh card.

but as george realised the concern on everyone's faces, it only seemed to make him more upset.

he walked toward the front door and threw it open.

"alex, come on, we're leaving," george demanded, his face red from embarrassment.

this time, alex didn't fight back.