Downgrading Miss CEO

Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

I could vaguely make out Julian was running around my apartment, panicked, for sure. Poor guy. Never leaving my side for more than a few seconds "Allison, are you okay? Please let me know you're okay in any way.''

"Okay, that's it. I am taking you to the hospital."

"I need to call someone. Your mom or someone. Where is your phone?"

I willed all my strength to muster out the word no, but it was no use. Before I could say anything, my eyelids became heavy, the throbbing pain in my head became worse. And then everything went black and silent again.

-

The pain in my head was killing me, but at least I was able to fully open my eyes now. I slowly turned my head to take in my surroundings. All I could see was a chair next to the bed I have been lying for what seems like a while. I looked over the other way and I was greeted with a nurse checking my chart. My chart? What happened? Where was I? I forced myself to look at the nurse more closely. She was pale, with green eyes and red hair wearing pale blue scrubs. Wait a minute. She looked familiar. "Rachel? Is that you? What are you doing here? What am I doing here? Where are we? Is this a dream? Why does my head hurt so bad?"

I fired all these questions at her and she just stepped closer to my side of the bed and laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Lucy, calm down. You're in the hospital. You fell and hit your head when you climbed out of the bathtub. This guy brought you in, tall, dark hair, good looking? He's outside in the waiting room, unable to stop pacing. He seems panicked. Is this a special someone to you? He used your phone to call your mom. She's on her way." She then removed her hand from my shoulder and looked back into my chart. "So how's the pain?"

But I couldn't focus on her question. Julian called my mom? My mom is coming here? What is happening? How am I going to fix this? The stress of the situation caused my throbbing head to throb just that little bit harder, and then, everything went black again.

-

The next time my eyes opened, I was woken by the feeling of someone caressing my hand. However, my sight was still quite blurry. "Julian?" I whispered hopefully.

"I'm sorry honey. He had to leave. He seemed quite distracted and frustrated to be honest. Care to fill me in on why he was here?" My mom smiled her usual smile. Nice, warm, and comforting. That smile was the last straw that broke my sanity. All I could do was cry, and that's what I did. My mom climbed into the bed with me and just held me. I laid my head on my mom's chest and relished in her embrace. She knew that all I needed right now was to be held. I was never much of a talker anyway. I have always been introverted that way.

I sobbed and cried into my mom's chest. All the while thinking that I screwed up. Of course Julian found out I flat out lied to him. Gosh, what must he think of me? And it is all my fault. I knew I had to tell him. I knew I must have been the one to tell him, I needed to come clean when I had the chance. I should have at least given him the chance to accept me for who I am. I didn't give him that chance because I didn't accept me for who I am. And how could I? It's not like I now live the life I would have liked to live. I have given up my dreams because they told me to. It was no free choice, they just let me believe it was. Gosh, I have been such a push-over when it came to my father, now that I think of it.

After a few minutes, my sobs finally came to a stop and the room was now filled with the sounds of my sniffling nose. Which meant there came an end to my mom's silence as well. "Oh, Luce. Please, tell me what is going on in that pretty little head of yours. I know you're not that much of a talker, but you need to get it off your chest. You can't carry the world on your shoulders, honey. You don't have to do it all by yourself, I want to help where I can, but you need to talk to me first. What is going on?"

"Oh mom, I screwed up, big time. I thought I was a strong woman. I thought I could live with the crazy and ridiculous thing dad forced upon me. But I can't. I can't marry without love, and I won't do it." I sat up just a little straighter and pulled my shoulders back. This was ridiculous. I was power posing so I could get the courage I needed to tell my mom about I made the biggest mess one could think of.

I took one deep breath and then I told my mom everything. About the terrible date with Marc, who Allison set me up with. I told her about running into Julian in Central Parc and then later about seeing him at that bar right after family dinner. All good and well.

And then I felt a lump building in my throat and I needed to swallow a couple of times is to be able to speak. "I created an online dating profile, using Ali's name and occupation. I was just so sick of people using me for my money or being intimidated by my position. And honestly, the people who don't fall in those categories aren't really the nicest of guys."

What I really wanted to say was that I wasn't looking for a man like my father, but I figured that wouldn't be all that great for my mom to hear. At one point or another, she fell in love with him. And clearly, she still loves him, or she would have left him a long time ago.

"I received a message from Julian, not knowing he was the guy from the parc and all those spilled coffees. We messaged back and forth and we met up. I should have told him who I was then, but I just couldn't. He was so judgmental when I first bumped into him, and I just wanted to prove I wasn't anything like how he pictured me. But I can see now, that when I was so busy trying to prove to him I wasn't like that... I was being the exact kind of girl he was claiming me to be."

My mom just sat there and listened. Nodding every once in a while to show me she was indeed still listening. When the silence went on a little longer, my mom stroked my hair. We just sat there in silence for quite a while. My mom was the first to break the silence. "And what exactly are you feeling for the guy?"

"I like him, mom. I really do." The words had left my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. But it was true. I liked him. "But it's of no use. I lied to him. There is no way he'll ever speak to me at all, let alone forgive me. And even if miracles could happen, there is no way dad and grandpa will approve. The company couldn't benefit from him, so there is no way they would let me be with him. They probably have an heir of whatever hotel chain lined up to marry me, so the companies could merge. It's just hopeless."

"Honey, listen to me, and listen to me closely." She looked me in the eye and reached for my hand to hold it. I don't think I have ever seen her this serious before. "You have to remember that it is still your life. You gave up so much to get where you are now. You have sacrificed so much. It is okay to be selfish every once in a while. You should, under no circumstances, compromise on love and on marriage, as that is something that is supposed to be forever. Don't be with someone forever because someone tells you to. You deserve to be happy. Don't forget that."

She let go of my hand and pressed a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room without another word. Leaving me behind with only my thoughts. It was very nice to hear those words. Words I have needed to hear for so long now. I was not going to lie, I would have rather heard those words from my father, indicating that he knows and respects all that I have given up to fill my brother's shoes. But nevertheless, those words meant I was my own person. They confirmed something that I have doubted for so long now.

Beside me, the screen of my phone lit up, indicating I received a message. Immediately, my hopes were up. Could it be a message from Julian? It was only half-past nine. Could he maybe be on his way back to see me? Was there still some hope he would forgive me?

I reached out for my phone, probably a little too quickly as I became headed and my vision became a little spotty. When my hand clenched around my phone, I moved back slowly and rested my eyes shut for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass. I opened my eyes and sighed in disappointment when I saw the message wasn't from Julian. It was from Ava, asking me if I was okay and if I wanted her to come and visit.

What was I even thinking? I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I sent a quick reply to Ava that I was really tired and was going to call it a night. And that was what I did.