Eev and Ank

Episode 3b Eev and Ank

"You have an eyelash there."- David

Here we are at the party, all week we did a lot of preparations. My friends really helped me trough this week, we talked a lot about Eev and Lucas leaving. They told me they will always be there for me, just like they were before Lucas, with Seth and after my coming out. They also said it might be better if I take some time for myself and sort out my feelings and just see where it ends with both of them. Lucas will leave tomorrow, I don't know when I will see him again if I will see him, he might meet someone new there, or he will never contact me again. "Ank can you help me with the balloons?" Lucas shouts from the living room. I help him and ask what he thinks will happen when he is in Belgium, where we will be in half a year. He says he doesn't know but he wants to keep contact and he hopes we both are happy if it is still together or not. I trust him but I don't know what to think about long distance and about hem meeting someone new. But now we should celebrate and have a nice party for Lucas. Lucas' friends and my friends were here early, we started with some talking, which school he will attend, if he already knows someone and when he will visit. After a while more classmates arrive and we start dancing. For a moment I forget why we are here and what is happening, but when Eev arrives I'm back in reality. I immediately smile, I show her the way through Lucas' house, give her a drink and we start dancing with the rest. After a while they want to go to their high school to say good bye, my friends also want to go, I stay to clean some things up. I start with the bottles and after a while I hear someone is in the bathroom. Eev comes inside the kitchen and asks where everyone is I say they went to their school. She doesn't want to go there but helps me with cleaning. We end up talking for a little bit on the couch, she asks me how I feel that Lucas is leaving, I tell her that I'm scared because he has always been there for me through my rough times, but that I know I have my friends. "And you have me now," she says. I look in her eyes and say "you have an eyelash there", I lean a little bit closer and pick it up. She looks at it and then very deeply in my eyes, I don't pull back, she leans in a little bit, looks at my lips and closes her eyes. I look at hers and then I close my eyes. But when I close them all I see is Seth and I immediately pull back. I also start to hyperventilate, I know she will not take advantage of me, but I can't do this. "I'm sorry, I should have never kissed you, you are still together with Lucas, this is my fault," she says. I can't calm down and start talking out loud "I need to calm down, nothing will happen, she will never do that, I can trust her." I do everything to calm myself down, but it doesn't work. Until Eev says: "You can calm down, just sit down, drink some water and try to breath with me," she sits next to me and starts counting, she actually gets me calm again. I tell her I'm calm, she says she will leave now because it was her fault and she would never had done that. I want to tell her that it isn't her fault and that I also wanted it, but that wouldn't be fair towards Lucas so I don't. I tell her I will see her soon and she leaves.
I don't talk to Lucas about it when he comes back. If anything happens I will tell him I promise myself. We pack the last things and then he needs to leave so he can take the ferry. I kiss him and we hug for a while. I am sad but more like I lost my best friend, not my boyfriend. I say we can always call, skype and text. He agrees and says he will immediately call me when he arrives in his new house. We call for over an hour and he shows me his new room, house and garden. Monday he is free from school but he will update me of his classmates and teachers.