Eev and Ank

Episode 5 Eev and Ank

"The second you start looking for hate, you find it. And when you find hate, you start hating"-Isak

It's the day after and when I wake up at 12 o'clock I see that Lucas has already called me two times. I put on my clothes and call him while I'm eating my breakfast. "Are you awake already? I thought you went to that party yesterday," I ask. He nods but says "I wanted to hear your voice, talk, tell you every thing I've done." I reply that I also want to talk to him, but that he can tell his stories first. "So Thursday I told you that I had a party yesterday. So it was at the old apartment where Robbe used to live, his boyfriend hosted it and all my new friends were there too. I thought it would be boring because everyone seemed very serious at school, but when the alcohol kicked in we had a lot of fun. I didn't even drink but I still had a lot of fun and the atmosphere was great. I talked with a lot of my classmates, so we have Luca she is so funny always has the perfect jokes ready, oh and she is bi." "Hahaha and that is important why?" I reply. "I don't know, because you are, you may become friends too." I laugh I will ever even meet her. "Oh and I talked to Jana she is the ex of Jens. Jens is by the way a very nice guy we have a lot in common but we can also talk about a lot together," he says. "You like him?" I ask. "Yes I think we will be really good friends, his best friend is Robbe, but since he has a boyfriend it faded a little bit." I joke: "When will you get a boyfriend?" He starts laughing and replies "But I have you, right?" I nod but look at him and hope he knows what will happen too "You will always have me, but I don't think we can do this long distance thing while we are in a relationship. I want you to be happy and I think you will get that when you can do what you want without thinking about me." "I will always think about you. But you said you got to tell me something too," he replies. I nod "It is also about this, I might have met someone I like. It is Eev she also was at your party, we met a few times and I am starting to like her. It is still at the very beginning and I have some trust issues because of Seth. But she is patient and I think she likes me too." I don't get a response immediately, I hope I didn't surprise him too much, but he finally reacts: "It is a hard pill to swallow, but I know she will make you happier than I can right now. I might also find someone here, but don't forget you will have me." I nod and say that I still love him, but it is just too complicated right now.

It's Friday again I texted a lot with Eev this week. Mostly basic stuff but we agreed we will meet on Friday. I am free after 11 o'clock so we meet before the support group which will start at 4 o'clock. I pick her up at her school and we walk to my school where the support meeting is. We sit outside from school at a bench. I feel so happy and light, the only thing I can do is smile. She asks me how I feel now and if I can handle the situation. I look at her and want to say, 'how can I not handle this I am so happy because of you,' but I take it mild and say "Yes I feel great, I like that we get to spend time together." She smiles but that was it, I expected an answer that she was happy too or she would give me a kiss. "Is there something bothering you?" I ask. "No, just a mixed feeling," she pauses, "how are you and Lucas doing?" she finally asks. I am a little bit surprised and reply "We are fine, I decided to tell him about us and we are just friends now. It is better, long distance will not work and now we both can be with someone better." She looks surprised and weirdly scared "Us? Which us? I hope you didn't expect too much of me. I don't want to be the reason you broke up with him." she starts to shout, stands up and walks away. "But it will not work so I could better end it now. And how is there no us? I thought we..." I scream while she walks away but she will not hear me. I try to say something trough my tears but they don't come out, then I feel a soft arm around me. It is Nash who heard everything from across the street where he was smoking. "Ssh, it will be okay, try to breath and then tell me everything that happened," he says to me. I calm down and tell him what happened. He looks at me and says that it was not my fault and she probably isn't ready yet but she will come back when she is. I don't believe him, but I know I cannot do anything about it. "What do you think about drinking some coffee at our favourite spot?" he asks. I nod and we order some hot chocolate. We talk about him and how he met his boyfriend, Shane, a story me and my friends always hear. It actually calms me down knowing they are still together even after everything they went through it gives me hope.