Eev and Ank

Episode 6b Eev and Ank

“Are you scared of the water or what?”-Cris
This week was a hell, but I survived. Normally I am happy it is Friday with the support group where I see Eev. This week it isn’t, I know I will not see her and if I see her it will only be harder. According to Skam I will see her kiss her ex or the other way around, I am not sure who is the Even and who is the Isak. It doesn’t matter, because when I don’t see her I will not get disappointed. For comfort I called a lot with Lucas and I got my other friends of course. I hope Eev has them too, she is the one who left me but I know this isn’t easy for her. I asked Sophie, Nash and Malia if they wanted to hang out instead of going to the support group, but they are the organisers so they cannot bail. Nash proposed Shane, his boyfriend, could go with me and it would only be for two hours. I thought it was a good idea, he also knows me well now I hang out with Nash more.
“So have you actually heard this story before?” Shane asks. “I probably have, Nash always tells stories about you,” I reply. “You don’t mind if I tell, you probably hear a lot,” he says. “Oh I really don’t I always listen, people tend to tell me the weirdest stories.” He looks questioned, “tell me the weirdest story you heard, this week.” “That is an easy one, my ex Lucas who moved three weeks ago, he has a boyfriend at least they went on a date and I called him while he was still at his house,” I reply. “Hm yeah that’s weird enough. Wasn’t it awkward or disappointing to hear that story?” he asks and I reply “No it was comforting, I am very happy for him.” “I don’t understand that, but you sure want to hear it, it is about him coming out,” he says. I am confused because I never heard that story from Nash, “I think I never heard that story so come on with it.” He looks a bit surprised and hesitates, “It might be a hard story then, but I am sure Nash is fine with sharing it.” “He is always so open so I think it is fine and it isn’t like I don’t know he is gay and trans,” I say. “So you know we met at the book store. We were both searching for the same book,” I nod and say “call me by your name,” he smiles and goes on, “so we exchanged numbers so if I was done I could give it to him. He already got another book so I thought it would be fine. When we met a week after that I asked him about his other book and he was pretty vague about it. I asked if I could read it, but he said he returned it the day before. I thought he didn’t want to talk, so I said I would leave and he should return it on time otherwise he had to pay for it. But he said he could return it to me next week to be sure it is on time. We met a couple of times after that and kind of started dating. About a month later at our 5th date I think, he said he had a book for me to read. We didn’t really do that anymore so I was surprised. ‘The book you first asked for’ he said. It was ‘If I was your girl’ I didn’t know the book so I asked what it was about and he said ‘me, I was a girl’. I smiled and kissed him, he was so confused so he pushed me away and totally shut me out. He said I should leave, but I didn’t because I care about him and I don’t care if he is a boy or a girl or trans. I said that but it didn’t came through so I left and I texted him every single day. After a week or so I thought it was over so I didn’t and that day he sent me a message that we should talk.” I smile, because even though it was a hard story they still ended up loving each other and that was what won. “You know I thought it would make me sad hearing good stories, but it gives me hope and even though it might give more false hope now, it still is hope,” I say. “Let’s go for a walk,” he offers. We walk from our school through the park where Eev and I kissed two weeks ago. It brings back memories good and bad. I look inside the ice cream shop and first I thought it was an illusion but there they stood, Eev with two ice creams she hands the other over to Seth. I blink and blink again but this is what is happening. “Everything okay,” Shane asks. I stopped walking and froze to the ground when I saw them. “No not really,” I try to move and when I can I sprint into an alley. Shan comes after me, he handles me carefully and starts to calm me down. “Are they gone?” I whisper, still breathing fast. He doesn’t know who so starts describing everyone who leaves or left. “The girl with the dark hair a bit over her shoulder, wears a net panty, shorts, pink shirt with black tie dye. The guy has longer dark blond hair, he is very tall, green eyes, black clothes,” I start describing them. “Yes they left some time ago, they probably didn’t see us. You know them?” he asks. I nod but am not fully comforted, how do they even know each other. “They didn’t kiss or hold hands, did they?” He shakes his head “They seemed just friends, nephews, siblings. Want me to tell why you still so stressed?” I nod, “So it is quite a long story we might want to sit somewhere.” “Want something from inside?” he asks. “Strawberry milkshake, but I will sit here on that bench, okay?” He nods, I want to grab some money but see that Eev texted me 2 hours ago.
“So what is this us,
A you and a me,
But I am not me,
I am just a shadow of me,
Because of you I saw my sunlight,
But where did it come from,
Where should I leave it,
I didn’t know,
I should show it,
But all I did was make it rain,
I cannot do that anymore,
I want to be my sunlight,
I want to show my sunlight,
To everyone.
Because I like you.”
I show Shane he looks puzzled and I ensure him I will explain when he comes back. I tell him everything, about Eev, how we met, our dates and even about Seth, all the things he did. “And she doesn’t know, what he did? Or that you know each other?” Shane asks. I shake my head, “But I will tell her, if she wants to speak with me at least.” “After that text I think it will be alright. She also went through a hard time,” he says. I raise my shoulders. “I think she found herself,” Shane adds. I say, “And I think she came out.” He nods.