The common sounds of inmates yelling filled Xenari's ears as she sat in her designated bunk staring up at her ceiling. Normally, the constant yelling and screaming would have drove her crazy, and give her constant migraines and headaches but she had grown used to it, considering the fact that the screaming had been a common thing for the past 5 years.
Everyday it had been the same thing— the common screaming and yelling late in the night, morning, gang initiations for new and scared inmates, showers, breakfast, recess, lunch, recess, fights, lock in, dinner, then bed. Nothing new ever happened but Xenari found ways to make the time go by faster. She spent most of her time writing in her journal since she had no one visiting her, and other times reading up on her books to get her business degree since she had already received her high school diploma her 2nd year there. She wasn't a dumb girl, education still mattered, and she couldn't help but to have some hope that she would get out soon.
As she laid staring at her ceiling, her mind drifted off to the day she was arrested and what took place that night. 14 year old Xenari had killed her mothers boyfriend after he had attempted to rape her for the 3rd time that night— he had successfully raped her every day since she was 12 and eight times the week before. She had killed her mother the same night after she had found the plans her mother had written down for her and her boyfriend to sex traffick her and her mother had called the cops while she laid dying slowly beside her boyfriend who was already dead. That same night, the police came and took her freedom away.
Her mind drifted to the days in court and every single court date she attended and how even with the clear evidence of rape, sexual assault, and evidence of sex trafficking the system failed her. Her lawyer had tried to convince her to take the charge for murder but she refused and remained to her truth. Her truth that it was self-defense and she wasn't a cold blooded murderer. Though serving time and seeing what she did, did indeed turn her heart cold.
Her family had cut all ties with her and turned their backs. No one showed up to her court dates so she was utterly alone with no one to show they love her or show they care. She had developed serious PTSD, anxiety, schizophrenia, and serious trust issues.
Her first couple of years in prison, she was angry and used to find her self in tons of fights out of hurt and disappointment. She just couldn't understand how the system could let this happen— let her go to jail for defending herself. It was wrong but then she understood.
It was pretty simple for her in her opinion. As a white man or woman in America, the minute you're born you're born with White privilege whether you liked it or not. Meaning the system was built for you, the system would defend you no matter what you did. You could kill 10 people and get away with it, you know why? Because the media and the system will rule you as being mentally unstable even if you were perfectly stable. Once you're ruled mentally unstable, you draw the sympathy of thousands of people and people automatically are joined to your side. As a white man or woman in America, everything works in your favor. It was clear to Xenari that equality would never be a thing because white supremacy and white privilege would always be an all time high.
If you were a black man or woman in America, it was simple too. You had no justice even with all the evidence in front of the white mans face. They will defend the wrong person until the end of time, before they don't want to see something go good for you and possibly change your life. If you're a black man or woman in america, you're born guilty— you have no rights, you get no justice, and you face time without evidence to back it up. You're guilty until proven innocent. That is America and that is the life of the black man and black woman in America. Justice for all? Justice for the white man who is innocent until proven guilty. She used to be angry all the time, but she finally understood.
The system wasn't built for her, it was only there for her to learn how to survive.
________________ Oh my god y'all this my first time trying something brand new, I don't know how this story is going to go! But I would LOVE some feedback.
