✔️Ambrosia (Edward Cullen) BOOK ONE

35-"Aftermath"

Warning: Potentially sensitive content.

Ambrosia didn't mean to cry, she didn't want to cry but she was the kind of person that cried when they were overwhelmed. The pretty brunette didn't cry from any emotion in particular- not initially, she merely cried in shock as she pulled on the clothes he had left for her, feeling her heartache and her chest pang as she swallowed the sobs, knowing they'd all hear her if she cracked a single sound. Looking over at his bed, she peeled the blanket back, forcing down the shudders that shivered through her as she tucked herself up under them.

As Ambrosia hugged the pillow- finding it suddenly too soft and warm- she balled her hand into a fist against her lips to abolish the hiccup that threatened to expel and it hurt her throat to hold it in but the alternative made her horribly embarrassed. After the initially shocked tears came all the pain and confusion and she shivered in the warmth of the lamplight, the room feeling painfully empty without him. Ambrosia knew she had no right to cry, and she hated herself for not being able to stop the tears from falling. No matter how many times she furiously wiped her eyes, more came to fill their place and slowly, her soft cheeks grew sore and reddened from the continual wiping but the sobs mellowed slowly.

"Hey, hey, shhh sh sh, no baby" his voice was a panicked whisper as he appeared from nowhere, the girl not having even noticed the door open or close. He was just there, shoes off and lying behind her, wrapping his arms around her in a panic and in her upset, dazed mind, she went to him easily, holding on like he was a lifeline as a sob split from her lips. "It's okay, I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry, shh it's okay" he coaxed in a continuous pattern and he tried all the usual tricks that often worked- stroking her hair and drawing patterns on her skin... None stopped the sobs that were rising slowly and her breathlessness panicked him.

Ambrosia dug her hands into his shirt, clutching to it as she gasped for air through the continual sobs. She didn't understand her own emotions but somehow, in her foggy mind- She recognised the feeling. The breathlessness slowly made her dizzy and she gasped into him, nausea rising and all she wanted was to breathe freely. It was as if she was breathing through a straw.

It was a moment later that more emotions flooded her when she thought that she couldn't possibly feel anything else, the overwhelming nature feeling like she was drowning. And she was embarrassed, hearing his constant urging voice of panic and confusion. Ambrosia couldn't understand her own tears but as he attempted to soothe her, the idea that he thought she was being stupid bounced around in her head, she had never felt so embarrassed in all her life and she tried to swallow the crying to spare herself the added embarrassment but the more she tried to abolish the feeling, the worse it got.

"Hey hey Beautiful, listen to me. Ambrosia, listen to me. You're having a panic attack, I need you to listen to me please, listen to my breathing, breathe with me" he coaxed, his voice growing calm as he recognised her sudden flurry of panic and finally came upon the realisation that his own panic wouldn't help her at all. Taking her cheeks in his hands and forcing her to face him in the gentle lamplight, he exaggerated her breathing in encouragement and she gasped for a few short seconds before practising along with him- Breathing in when he did and out when he did. It did not take long for her steady breathing pattern to return and Edward sighed in audible relief as she gained some control back, flopping into him tiredly as she breathed deeply against his chest. That was when his soothing gestures began to work and the gentle caress of his hands soothed her softly.

"You're okay, Ambrosia, we're okay. I love you" he told her all the things she needed to hear and the sobs ended in nothing but salty tears that rolled down her sore cheeks and pooled on his shirt, collecting in a puddle though he didn't mind. "You can go to sleep now, my love. I'm not going anywhere, you're safe" he promised, pulling her close and tucking the blankets up around her because he knew that as her panic attack ended, her shivering was now due to the cool of his skin against hers.

Shockingly, Ambrosia pushed the blankets away as he buddled it up and he frowned but she needed the feel of the cold, the cool sensation that was him. She needed it at that moment and he didn't protest as she unbuttoned his shirt and placed her cheek against his chest, calming faster with the cold on her. Edward listened carefully as her breathing evened out and she lulled into sleep. Placing his hand on the exposed skin of her waist to reassure her further- he felt instant relief, chasing away his own panic.

But when the relief settled, he felt guilty because he knew that he was the one that had caused this. Since meeting Edward Cullen, Ambrosia hadn't had a single panic attack. She didn't panic when he kissed her the first time, when she found out he was a vampire or when they had danced on the relatively empty dancefloor at prom- But his expression and offishness on that night, at that moment, had caused her panic.

For the first time, it put into perspective how much she needed him. With Edward, Ambrosia was a completely different person. With him, she was bubbly and happy- With him, all of her worries simmered away. And the worst thing for her- was losing him.

Ambrosia Hatton had lost everything that had ever meant anything to her, so to have a family again- in him, it was all she ever wanted or needed. The feeling of being so wanted and needed made Edward Cullen feel completely loved and as he hugged her, he knew he loved and needed her in return with just as much intensity. 

Authors note: Hello everyone, I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I have written Ambrosia's panic attack from personal experience, I know that they are different for everyone but I assumed that the best way to accurately portray one was to write how I felt, please understand that I know everyone's experiences are different. Ambrosia is a very sensitive person and she's shy, it's something she doesn't like about herself but it is what makes her who she is and her social anxiety sometimes leads to panic attacks, it happens to many people. Please, understand that I am here if anyone wants to talk, I know it is a sensitive subject...