36-"Loyalty"

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The second awakeness dawned on her that day, Ambrosia Hatton knew that she and Edward would not be going to school that day and for the first time- she was perfectly okay with that outcome because as she lay with her cheek pressed to his chest, she felt utterly exhausted... Ambrosia didn't know then that the day would only bring more pain and sadness, maybe if she had, she wouldn't have opened her emerald green eyes to look up at his marvellous golds. Edward stared at her for a long moment, as if memorising every aspect of her face and she stared back intently because the moment felt so utterly important- Even if she couldn't understand it yet.

"Ambrosia" he frowned, it was such a subtle dimple in his brow that it made him look so agonised and his voice was hollow as if some spark had been distinguished in the time that she slept. The golden eyes she knew so well seemed to untouchably deep as she stared into them on that morning, the last morning...

"Edward, What is it?" she questioned, moving to sit up to see him better but he just held her closer, breathing in her scent continually, wishing he could bottle it up and keep it close to his heart forever.

"I am so sorry Ambrosia, it is because I love you, that I have to ask you to choose between two equally miserable options." she wished, as he held her close to his chest, that she could see his face at that moment, because despite how calm his voice sounded- she sensed a pained sadness in him as she listened. "I never wanted to do this Ambrosia, I never wanted to ask you to choose but I have fallen in love with you, you have become my reason for existing and it is because of that that I cannot be selfless with you. 

I am a Cullen, Ambrosia, they are my family and long ago, I pledged to follow my new mother, father, brothers and sisters wherever they went...It is because I am a Cullen that I have to go. Because Fredrick is going, and I will always have anger in my heart for that, because of him... Because of him, I have to ask you to choose Ambrosia. My offer still stands the same and you have so many options but all are as bad as the last... You can... You can come with me, you can follow me wherever I go, wherever our travels lead us, I do not know where that will be but... But you can go...It would bring me no greater joy than to take you with me. But I know what that means, I know it means that you must say goodbye to your family, your brothers and sisters and the place that you have grown up. I know it is a hard possibility for you and maybe-- Maybe you aren't ready for it, but it is what I am asking, pleading for you to do..." he spoke carefully, each word thought about deeply and her heart thundered in her ears, an absence of thought as she took in all that he had to say.

"Or, you can stay here... You can live in Forks as you have been but... I won't be here anymore, to be with you anymore. I will always love you and I cannot live without you, so you will have to deal with my phone calls, my letters... We could go long distance and live our lives together while apart. We could love each other from afar... And when you graduate, you could come and live with me... Or keep doing the long distance. Or, you could choose neither I suppose. You could choose to have me leave now, you could choose to never see me again, to never have to speak to me again. I could be gone like Fredrick intends with Bella... If that is what you would like..."

And the weight fell on her as she hugged him tighter, suddenly realising the reason for the way he held her so cherishingly as she slept. He thought that that hug could be the last one. Edward Cullen said that he couldn't be selfless with her but that was exactly what he was doing because he was giving her a choice, whatever happened next was entirely up to her and she knew that... Which just made it so much scarier.

Over the past few months, Ambrosia slowly chose to accept that Edward was her life now, she had chosen to accept that she could no longer live without him in her life... And that meant that unconsciously, she had accepted that one day, she would be a vampire, even if she did not want to be. Ambrosia accepted being a vampire because she loved a vampire and the only way to be with someone forever, was to live forever.

And somehow, she supposed that that meant that she would inevitably have to leave her small family behind. She would have to leave behind Max who had been a brother to her since their very first meeting, she would have to leave behind Roz, her best friend and Pheobe and Teddy too. 

But that possibility was always lurking on the horizon- any day over the entire course of the time they lived in the orphanage together, the idea of adoption had always been a possibility and they would all be happy for one another, overjoyed even if such things had happened. The idea of being ripped away from one another was in their minds since the very first day and despite how guilty she felt for it-- The idea of losing Edward hurt more because they were fated.

Ambrosia knew that one day she would choose to leave her family behind, to be with him... But was today that day?

authors note: Hello everyone, what do you think Ambrosia should do?


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