To What I Owe You

Chapter 12- Ecstasy

Chapter 12

Ecstasy

"That feeling of addiction, what was it like for you?"

"It felt like a feeling you never want to escape at first. Like you could stay there in that feeling forever but of course it never lasted."

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"You're so beautiful y'know," Deuce spoke up from his seat on his couch.

I smirked looking up from the book I was holding while I paced back and forth in front of his book shelf beside the living room TV. I didn't know what I expected Deuce's house to be like but it was a bit of a surprise when we came in. It was clean, it was warm, and for a second it seemed like a family home. It was two bedrooms, and plush, nothing like my daddies house but it was still laid. Well designed, better than a mans touch to the decor and I held the thoughts that rattled around in my head about what bitch helped him decorate. I held them in to bypass any chance of an argument that was unnecessary, but I wondered about the girl who decorated; Had they been close? How long did they last? Did he love her? Did she exist? I didn't know where the jealousy had been coming from the past few days but it has been evident in everything. I couldn't even enjoy exploring his house without wondering.

I pushed the thoughts back for a second though because it wasn't here nor there, I still had exploring to do and I was still under Deuce's stare. He has been sitting and watching me ever since we came in. I analyzed everything in the livingroom, and once I caught a glimpse of the book shelf by the TV I knew I had to get into what he was reading. Never seemed like the type of nigga to read if you were to ask me, but he's a man of many surprises. Books ranged from books about growing plants to books about the universe. Threw me off fasho because I ain't never seen a nigga read no shit like this.

"Where you get these books from," I questioned. "You got some crazy shit on these shelves."

He chuckled and shrugged. "Here there, anywhere you can get books."

"Alright smart ass you know what I mean. Who got you into reading shit like this?"

"Myself."

I raised an eyebrow and nodded before putting the book back, and walking over to the couch to plop down beside him. He looked down at me with those pretty hazel eyes while I looked back up at him before he kissed me on the lips. He smiled at my crooked ass smile that I tried to hold in but failed miserably. I can't believe some dude got me this soft in just a matter of a month and some change. I like it though, I like being here in his arms and for once it felt like home somewhere. It felt like someone saw me for me, and liked it. For once It felt like I wasn't going to be too much to run from or to get rid of.

That's how I know Kevin and I won't work, I became too much and he ran and ever since I thought about that during the movie I've felt even worse for kissing him earlier. I was filled with some type of emotion that I thought was real but It can't be, not on his end at least. I think he likes me because I feel like something rebellious and new, but he doesn't like me the way Deuce does.

"What you thinking about KD?" Deuce questioned, once again snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing," I lied.

Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at my words. He knew, he saw right through me, but he knew not to push me either so he opted on changing the subject. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure."

He stood up heading for his kitchen and I followed behind him. I hadn't made it through the rest of the house yet but even the kitchen was nice. It wasn't the cleanest with the few dishes that were in the sink, and the crumbs still on the counter top, but it made it more realistic that a guy was living here. I mean the shit was way too clean otherwise, but shit, maybe I hit the jackpot and got me a bit of a neat freak.