Ever Since I Had You (Zarry)

There's no Goodbyes, Only Us

It'd be unfair if I didn't publish anything in June, HAPPY PRIDE <3

RANDOM ADVICE: If you're continuing with this book, you may know that each chapter has a song, based off on the lyrics and mood as well, so if you'd like it (which I would suggest) play it while reading it. I mean the lyrics are in front of you and you'd understand what it means but still. :)

RANDOM (USELESS) ADVICE: Reread the last chapter to create a false sense of continuation if you may? Haha. I did the same to remind myself of what I was writing.

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Zayn's POV

"I go where you go
Go through Armageddon
Girl I got you
There's no goodbyes only us
So I will follow
Hold you close standing on the edge of no tomorrow
Still deep in us, get that rush
So I still follow"

"I was right all along. You ARE egoistic and also a miserable coward. You didn't even have the balls to admit to that you do care."

I was left speechless. How could he say something that? Now out of all times, that too! He knew everything since the beginning. Everything about how constraining it was every time and how I felt like it was a trial every single day. He used to understand me, he used to love me, he used to support me; but this is something I can't take. His words are breaking me and he doesn't even care.

He's changed.

Those were the exact words he said when we officially called it quits. The words I still hear in my worst nightmares but they were spoken with pain that rose deep from within and I felt him running out of breath. I felt his heartbreak physically then but times have changed. He said that to hurt me, he said that with the ulterior motive to make me suffer. He wanted me to hurt inside, to break and shatter... much like how I made him feel.

"You are the one who's playing the game now. I walk with my big fat ego but wasn't it you who always boosted it up and made me feel that I'm worth it, that I do deserve at least all of the good things I'm granted and I was damn proud to be loved Styles, loved by you."

He was taken aback. The monotonous pattering of rain banged hard on the window panes and it was as deafening as the silence inside the house. 

"I been feeling high when I touch your body
That's how I feel the soul inside her body
Can't believe my eyes I swear
You gloat I follow you close
Fingertips touch, all I want your body
Fingertips touch all I want"

He physically stepped back several emotions flashing across his face but the evident streak was absolute confusion, the conflict inside of him was reflected in the frown that creased in between his brows and unsteady pupils and he opened his mouth a number of times to formulate but nothing came out. I waited for him to say something, anything. He finally stuttered out,

"Y-you don't get it! I-I've changed. I have changed my mi-mind! I don't-"

I cut him midway knowing all too well where this is all leading. He's back on his defence and has made up his mind to push me away,

"I know. But I love you. You've changed and my love for you isn't the same either, It's not selfish anymore, it has matured and I don't mind kneeling in front you either asking you to come back to me. My love for you has changed for this changed version that you try to put in front of me but nevertheless I still love you the same."

"All I want
All I ever wanted
It's in front of me
Right in front of me
What have I done
Now I never done
This could be the end of me
Be the end of me"