Fearless

38

The next couple weeks were hard. My body was pretty much healed from the birth but every day was a challenge with trying to juggle a new born while recovering from brain surgery. I still had headaches and they said I probably would for a while. It especially sucked when every time Mia would scream a sharp pain would shoot through my head. We had gotten pretty good at taking care of Mia though, granted we were still in the hospital and had lots and lots of help from all the nurses. My dad and Colby's parents went back to North Carolina and Kansas a couple days ago. His mom was supposed to stay and help for a couple more days but she needed to be back at work, although she said she was always a phone call away.

Right now we were waiting for the doctors to come in to do the car seat test to see if we could finally bring Mia home.

"I'm nervous." I said as I sat on the edge of the bed. My knee was bouncing which made Colby laugh, "it's fine baby, if she doesn't pass it then we just have to stay here." He said and put his hand on my knee to make it stop bouncing. I sighed as Claire came in, "hey guys! How are you doing?" She asked as Colby lifted Mia out of her bed. "I'm nervous Claire, I don't want her to fail." I said and grabbed the car seat from the floor since Sam had brought it the last time he visited. "It's not like a math test Cora, if she fails it's okay it just means she has to grow a little more, we can't control it." She said with a laugh.

"Let's see, okay so this is going to take 90-120 minutes, and basically what we will do is she's gonna sit here in this car seat and we are going to monitor her breathing, heart rate, oxygen levels, all that fun stuff. If everything looks good then you're good to go but if it doesn't go well then you'll have to stay here a little longer. Sound good?" She said and I nodded, still feeling a little nervous.

"Alright dad, strap her in." Claire said to Colby and he nodded. She fell asleep as soon as he strapped her in, "well isn't she just a little angel." Claire said and started doing her first round of tests. "Yeah we really lucked out by having the coolest baby ever." Colby said with a smile, "just wait until you're home and it's 3 am." Claire said and winked then turned to leave. "I just jinxed us didn't I?" He said and scratched the back of his head, "way to go babe." I said and sat on the bed again.

Mia passed with flying colors which meant we were finally going to get to go home.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much" Meghan said and gave us hugs, "I'll miss you too, but I don't plan on being back here for a looooong time." I said as she hugged Colby, "and I don't plan on seeing you here for a loooooong ass time. You have my number. Use it." She said and gave me another hug. "Let me walk you guys down." She said as Colby grabbed the car seat and I grabbed our bags.

It felt weird leaving the hospital. The dark cloud I was feeling earlier in the week vanished in the past couple days but I could feel it creeping over my head again. The truth was I was scared. I was scared to leave our safe bubble that was the hospital where if something happened to our fragile baby it could be handled immediately. I didn't like this feeling.

"I'll go get the car." Colby said and grabbed the bag from me as he handed me the carrier with Mia in it. My hands were shaking with nerves so bad that I was afraid I would drop her so I set her carrier on the concrete. "Let me hold her for you." Meghan said gently and grabbed her from me as I twisted my ring, anxiously waiting for Colby to pull up. "You're gonna be fine you know." Meghan said and put her hand on my back. "I...I just don't want to mess up." I said and bit my lip. "You won't. You and Colby work so well together, you don't need all of us." She said and rubbed my back as Colby pulled up. He smiled at me and kissed my cheek before reaching for the car seat.

"Do I...do I sit in the back with her?" I asked Meghan nervously. "You're fine to sit in the front, she's gotta get used to driving with nobody next to her. She's gonna be fine Cor." She said and hugged me one more time. "You're sure?" I asked and she nodded, "you have a mirror on your backseat so the driver can see her at all times. The driver is Colby so you're fine." She said as Colby closed the door of the car. "Okay, this is it! Good luck new parents!" Meghan said jogging away as she waved.

Colby smiled at me then opened my door, gesturing for me to climb in. As soon as I was in the car I looked down at my hands, they were shaking so bad. Colby got into the car and immediately placed his hand over my shaking ones, "it's gonna be okay. I love you." He said and brought one of my hands to his lips. "I love you too." I whispered as he started the car, dropping my hand back down to my lap so he could put both hands on the wheel.

The drive was silent, anxiety building in my chest as cars passed us. I thought driving before she was born was stressful, but this was new level. Colby kept his head level though and got us home with no issues at all.

When we pulled up to the house there was a banner on the front of the house that read 'welcome home Mia!'. I gasped and looked over to Colby who was smiling, "that's so sweet." I said as tears welled up in my eyes. "They already love her so much it's insane. I can't believe we have to share our kid with 6 other people." Colby said with a laugh as he parked the car.

I took a deep breath and got out, looking at the house that seemed so much different now. This house would forever be the home we brought our baby home to.

Colby opened the car and smiled at Mia, "look who's awake." He said and brushed his finger along her cheek as she cooed. "Ready to see your house?" He asked her and pulled the car seat out of the car, then came over and grabbed my hand as we made our way to the door.

I couldn't believe we were finally home.