Feeling disappointed, unhappy, and being lost always happens to the general public. Not knowing where you came from is disheartening and sure is complicated. Uneasy feelings rise when twenty-year old Cadence Elliott is in the process of looking for...
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My three childhood best friends knew I desired to find my biological mother. Telling them who she was, it brought tears to my eyes as they were completely happy for me. Mel and Jay's mothers were like my own; always cared for me and loved on me. Aaliyah's mother died when she was eleven, but her godmother took her in and raised her. Mama Rita was supportive in anything that I did. Being in a group chat, I realized how much I missed my knucklehead friends. Each of them literally held me up and kept my head high, as I was struggling with my issues. They really encouraged to see my dad and face the problems that I was dealing with.
Once my foster mother died, my friends and their families extended their hand out to me and for that I am forever grateful. It hurt to see Mel and Jay have a relationship and a genuine one at that with their own mother. I dreaded Mother's Day and I still do up until this very moment. Thinking of all the lonely nights, my phone buzzed bringing me back to reality.
Mel Boogie 💕:
I know you hate the fact that your mother wasn't present in your life, but she's trying now. Give her a chance, please. You know how I feel about Janet Jackson, anyway. Now I can get free tickets lmaoo 🥺
Chuckling out loud, Mel was a die hard fan for Janet.
Li ❤️:
Sis is so hyped because your mother is famous, but I do agree. Although it's twenty years too late, she actually wants to be in your life. Think about all the times she's probably cried about you. You can't harbor onto this any longer, babycakes.
Jigga 💉:
You better talk to your fine ass mother, or I will. 😋 LMAO, let me stop playin'. It's time now, C. Put on your big girl panties and accept her into your life, sis. This is something you've been talking about for years and your dream has finally come true.
All of them were completely right. This punishment that I've been serving for my entire life finally ended and I am able to reconnect with my mother, once and for all. Heading to the guest room where Janet was most likely staying in, I felt the need to apologize for my behavior. The void I've been feeling for as long as I could remember was starting to close.
Overhearing a male voice on which I assume was on FaceTime, I stood by the door. Holding my breath, I wanted to hear every word that was being said. Trying to make out what the conversation consisted of, I put my ear close by.
"How's my baby doing?" That's real sweet.
"I'm doing good. No morning sickness and thankfully no nausea. I miss you and Jeremiah a lot." Janet sighed. She had an entire family and didn't say anything? From the creeks in the mattress, it sounded like she was getting comfortable laying down.
"Well, I'm glad you're feeling good. But now I wanna know how it was re-meeting Cadence for the first time in years." This mystery man was practically interviewing Janet with these personal questions, was this her boyfriend or husband, or the press?
"It was rocky at first, I'm not gonna lie. I am proud of myself for telling my side of the story. I'm just hoping she'll come around though. I want her to trust me and create a bond that I've always wanted. Cadence is a very sweet girl, but it's so hard getting to know her; also, she doesn't know about the baby, yet. I love her, Sean, you don't understand. That's my entire heart and it sucks because she really hates me," Janet spoke, while my eyebrows furrowed. I didn't hate her, per se, but I hated her decision to not keep me and to not sign my birth certificate. For the first time in twenty years, I wanted to be loved by my birth mother. She wasn't the typical superstar that demanded the attention that she usually got.
This is her second day of being here and I saw the kind of individual she was. A loving, patient, and delicate woman. She respected me and didn't try too hard which I applaud her for. Janet received so much backlash and oppression in the public eye. From the Super Bowl incident to the constant disrespect when it came to her weight fluctuating. She handled it like a true professional and one thing I can say is that I definitely inherited her strength, even when I felt weak. A wave of sadness and vulnerability washed over me. I was starting to hyperventilate and think of all the times where I cried out for her. She wasn't there when I needed her to be. She has a whole family now, and left me in the dust.
Wiping my eyes from crying, the bedroom door opened. Being too deep into my thoughts and feelings, I didn't even notice that she was standing in the doorway which her phone in her hand. She looked like she was afraid to console me, which is completely understandable. I was being a complete ass to her. "I'll call you back, love you, bye." Hanging up abruptly, she slowly opened her arms and I embraced her for the first time in twenty years. I lost my balance and we both ended up going down towards the wooden floors.
"I'm so sorry, honey. For all the pain and the sleepless nights I've caused you. I love you so much, Cadence, that it hurts. You didn't deserve any pain at all. I just want you to be happy." It sounded like Janet was emotional herself. My head was resting on her chest, as I heard her heartbeat. Releasing out a shaky sigh, she stroked my hair and the silence was comforting. My eyes were puffy and my cheeks were hot. God knows what my hands felt and probably looked like. I wanted to talk but I just couldn't. Fear took over me and I was feeling stuck. My throat felt extremely dry and my lips were cracked. I closed my eyes as Janet continued to soothe me.
"Janet?"
"Yes, dear?" Her tone of voice was so delicate and relaxing.
"I-I'm sorry for my childish behavior. I was so angry and hurt that you came back after all these years. I miss being happy." Word after word, I felt the burdens starting to lift off of my shoulders. Finally.
"No, honey, you don't need to apologize. All is forgiven. I understood why you did what you did. I just want us to be on good terms. I appreciate your honesty." Sitting up, I looked at her as she smiled at me with her red eyes. She cupped my chin with her hand and planted a kiss on my cheek. Internally smiling, I placed my head back onto her chest.
