Chasing Forever

10. The Dance

     CHASE

     Everything was still going great between Ever and I. It had been three months since our one year anniversary, and we seemed to be better everyday. 

      I straightened my tie, checked my hair, and finally gave myself a nod in the mirror. Tonight was the winter dance at school, and I was so excited to take Ever. We were seniors, and she had been nominated for Winter Ball queen, and I was up for the king title. We were the golden couple at school, and I had a pretty good feeling we were both going to win. 

      Danny was all smiles when I got to his house to pick up Ever, and I noticed he looked a bit teary-eyed. The second Ever appeared at the top of the steps, I knew why. 

     She was flawless. 

     Her pale blue dress had a ruffled skirt that made her look like a princess, but it only came halfway down her thigh so it wasn't over the top for a school dance. She just looked...perfect. 

     "Sunshine...you're...wow." She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then led me into the backyard so Danny could taken a million pictures of us. 

     This time last year, things were still pretty new between the two of us. We hadn't gone to the winter dance, and we skipped homecoming this year because it was the same night as our anniversary. This was our first dance together, and I was a mixture of nerves and excitement. 

     "Dad, we need to go. We're going to miss the entire dance if we don't head out soon." Ever was starting to get impatient, but I convinced her to let her dad take a couple more pictures. 

     This was the first time he got to see Ever go to a school dance, too. I wanted him to be able to enjoy this experience as much as the two of us did. 

     When we finally got to the dance, it was pretty plain. I expected the decorations to be better, but there were only sparse streamers and a dozen balloons. 

     The thing about being in a room with someone who lights up your universe, though, is that no matter what your surroundings are...everything looks perfect. 

     We only had thirty minutes to dance before we were up on the stage getting those crowns placed on our heads, smiling big while our friends cheered like crazy. 

     "Time for our first dance as king and queen, Ev." I held out my hand towards her to take, and then led us both off of the stage and onto the dance floor. 

     We were in the middle of our dance, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her face. She was so beautiful. The most beautiful that I had ever seen her. 

     "You look so breathtaking tonight. You're glowing." She blushed, and I leaned in to kiss her. "I love you so much." 

     Once the words were out of my mouth I knew I couldn't take them back, but I wish I could have. The thought had been bouncing around in my head for quite a long time, but I had kept it to myself. 

     After the song was over, I told her I wasn't feeling well and her eyebrows knit together in concern for me. 

     "Come on, I'll drive you home." I shook my head, and her frown deepened. "Fine. I'm going to stay here with the girls, then. I'll get Nia to drive me home. Let me know you're okay."

     I mumbled an agreement, gave her a quick kiss, and sped out of there. 

     Everything was so perfect. 

     Too bad I had a tendency to self-destruct out of stupidity. 

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EVER

     I walked into my backyard and  noticed Chase already standing over in the gazebo, looking like he was going to be sick. I thought he was just nervous when he took off after saying he loved me, but he really did look ill. 

     "Hey, if you aren't feeling well, I could have met you at your place." He didn't turn to meet my eye, and I knew where this was going. "You're ending this." 

     It wasn't a question, but his inability to look at me was a confirmation anyway. 

     I knew those three words would change everything...I just always assumed it would have been me that let them slip. 

     "We need to talk." He still wasn't looking at me, but I nodded anyway. 

     We need to talk.

     Right. 

     "Chase...I know that's not a good thing."

     "Listen..." He took a big breath, and finally looked me in the eye. "I have loved all of the time that the two of us have spent together. I will always, and I mean always, treasure all of our memories."

     I planned to get through this without any tears, and save them for my pillow later. I couldn't keep it in anymore, though, and I felt them flowing freely down my cheeks. 

     "Ever, realizing that I am so deeply in love with you made me realize I need to end this. I need to end us." 

     I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks, mirroring mine. How can something that causes both of us so much pain possibly be a good thing? 

     "Why are you doing this? I love you, too!" I was getting frustrated, and yelling. I never yelled, and it felt so foreign to me. 

     "Ten years from now, we could be perfect. We could be everything...I know that we could. High school will be over in a few months, and I can't be worrying about you while I"m trying to study in college. I am really sorry, but this is the right thing to do." 

     I tried so hard to stop the tears, I wanted to have a rational conversation. Nothing about this was calm or rational, though. 

     If you love me and I love you, why is school still more important than me? Than us?" Chase wiped the tears off of his face, but they kept coming. 

     "I'm the guy with the good head on his shoulders, okay? I'm not the guy that risks everything for a relationship that might not last. I love you, but I can't do this. My dad wanted so much in life, but he met my mom. Her redirected his entire life for her, and she left him. She left him with a newborn baby, and disappeared for years! When she showed back up, my dad was struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck. Still, he took her back. They had me, and she took off when I was three days old. The only reason that he was able to do well in life for himself was because your dad came around. When your parents split up, your dad ended up here. I can't rely on having a friend like your dad to turn to someday, Ever. I need...I need to make sure I live out my father's dreams because he gave them up for me." 

     I knew that his mom left, and that was where all of his fears of relationships came from...but I didn't realize his deep rooted need to do so well was because he wanted to make his dad feel like his family was worth it. 

     "I hope that your life is everything you ever dreamed. I really hope that when you look back someday, this was worth it." 

     Chase reached out and pushed my hair behind my ears, and stared at my face. I had so much love for him, I really did mean what I said. I wished him all the best, even if that wasn't me. 

     "I love you. I am so sorry." I nodded, and gave him a sad smile. 

     "Can we say goodbye in the morning? One more night together, to get some closure?" 

     I saw the uncertainty on his face, but even though he was questioning it so much I never wavered. I needed this. We both did.

     "Fine...yes. One more night." 

     He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, and I thought that I would treasure it a little bit more now that I knew how numbered our kisses were. The truth was, though, every kiss with Chase was just as perfect as the one before. No expiration date could change that.