Broken Vase (Namjoon x reader) M | Completed

the stress (NC-17)

Warning: Mental Health Issue (PTSD)

Namjoon went back to his room, looking carefully at your sleeping body. "How is she?" He whispered to Jimin.

Jimin smiled. "She is calmer now because I gave her a sleeping pill." He sighed as he fixing your blanket. "But I think it wouldn't last long."

"Does she.." hates me? Namjoon gulped as he sat on the sofa. "Does she sleep well nowadays?"

"Yeah, thankfully. The nightmares still come and go sometimes so she drinks sleeping pills occasionally." Jimin then looked at Namjoon warily, "She wouldn't hide it without any reason, you know."

Namjoon took a deep breath, still locking his gaze on you. "I know. I just.. I couldn't think straight if it's about Y/n."

Jimin smiled knowingly. He then stood up and walked to Namjoon. "If you're gonna be here now, then I am going to help the others." He then patted his shoulder and walked out of the room. "Just hold her if she gets a nightmare again."

After he heard the click of the door, Namjoon stood up, but he couldn't move closer. He just looked at you, like he did in the past. It's you, stirring in your sleep with frowned brows that made him walked towards the bed and rested his body beside you, full of worries. His gaze has never left you. Is she cold? Does she have any pain? You turned your body to the side, facing him. And he could feel, how your body trembling, and tears trickled down your cheek slowly. You were crying in your sleep. Namjoon moved his arms involuntarily to you, embracing you while his eyes observed your face.

PTSD or Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event, either experiencing it or witnessing it. It is why you have nightmares and how you never want to go into the water. Although it's a common condition in agents or soldiers, but for an active agent like you, it's a big weakness. You won't be assigned in a mission anymore. You won't be able to do what you love.

You look worn out, full of scars, but still beautiful. He can't believe how you endure all of these. You look fine and strong at the outside, but inside you are struggling, begging for life. You are like a broken vase, beautiful but shattered into pieces. You've tried your best to glue it together, to make it whole again just so people still want it, but no matter how hard you try, a broken vase will be thrown away. His hearts ached whenever you whimpered in pain in your sleep. The only thing he could do was tightening his hug. He wants to make you feel safe now.

He has known you for almost 10 years. An emotional, brave, smart woman who taught him how to fight. A woman who gets mad whenever he falls asleep in front of his computer. A woman who looks for his missing stuffs with a little pout in her face but still gladly helps him. A woman who will risk her life for her mission and her partners. A woman who has the kindest heart. A woman with a beautiful smile placed on her face whenever she meets him. But for 5 years, you have avoided him. For 5 years, he has only looked at you in the distance. For 5 years, he has drowned himself to his jobs just so he couldn't think of you. For 5 years, he has never seen your smile.

A thought then came intohis head. Does Namjoon hate you?