Avengers x reader oneshots (Mostly Loki)

Please Don't Go - Loki x reader

Warnings: mentions of suicide, childhood abuse, ptsd, self harm, one curse word etc., angst

AN: You guys are amazing and beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different. Feel free to talk to us about anything. (*'꒳'*)

Nothing mattered anymore. Your parents are dead, your whole damn planet exploded, leaving your people dead and your life shattered into unrepairable pieces. You were the only survivor. You had clung onto Loki, as you watched your people's corpses fly into space. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the horrific sight from the spaceship. The image burning in your mind.

You were the princess of your realm and Asgard was your ally. Loki is the only one who cares for you now, but you were too much of a burden. Everyday since arriving on Asgard, you would feel like an outcast.

Loki doesn't love you, he doesn't give a goddamn shit! He only pities you. You were probably worth something to him before, now you're a useless burden. You don't even do anything nowadays, you just walk around the palace and follow him around. You're a worthless piece of space trash. The voice crept into your mind all night. You should've died in the explosion too. Millions more worthy than you should have made it.

You tried to stop these thoughts, but they hit you like a train, you couldn't breathe. You wiped at your eyes harshly so no one would you see you distraught in the library. You looked around to make sure no one was there. You took out the small switchblade your mother gave you.

She would be disappointed in you. You pulled up your sleeve to be greeted by scars from many sleepless nights spent with swollen, red eyes. You needed to stop this numbness. You needed to stop this train wreck. You leaned against your chair as you cut deep into your arm, sighing at the fresh, stinging pain, this never gets old. Spots of red blood dripped from your arm onto your dress.

You faltered at the sight, but your pain left when a thought came across your mind. I can't do this anymore, I need to end it all, I've had enough! I want to put an end to my suffering. That last thought made you cover your mouth as you dry sobbed. Not again. These suicidal thoughts had been crawling into your mind for months and you couldn't take it anymore and decided living like this wasn't worth the burning pain and heartache.You were going to plan this out though, Loki deserves an explanation out of all people.

You slipped out of the library into your darkened room. It was a mess, clothes and books strewn everywhere. You stepped over the mess and broken glass and grabbed some ink and pieces of letter parchment and ran to your safe spot in the library. Nobody noticed the bloodstains on the corner of your sleeves as you raced through the golden walls back to the library. You pressed the quill to the paper and your pain came pouring out.

Dear Loki,

On the day you saved me, I was a crying mess, falling to the ground every few seconds. I don't know why you chose me to help, but lately, it has become apparent that I can't go on like this. I will always love you and you will always have a place in my heart. When I go, remember it wasn't your fault, it was mine. Goodbye, Loki.

Love, y/n

You didn't notice the Prince walking into the library, stopping to see you hunched over a piece of paper, a smile on his face just to see you. He placed the spell book you recommended to him back onto the shelf behind you.

He hoped you were feeling better today, you were the light in his life, even if you couldn't see it. He wanted to surprise you, since he always wanted to see your smile. He quietly crept up to you while you were facing away. "What are you writing, darling?" he whispered behind you. You turned around abruptly and forced a smile to your lips. "Oh, you scared me, Loki." You then looked down and tried to push the paper away as unsuspiciously as possible. He put on a fake frown. "Let me see it, love, I'm curious now." He smiled, teasing you lightly.

You gripped the paper tighter and Loki grabbed it out of your hands. "Start working out, darling." He teased you as you stared in horror as he turned his attention to your letter, smiling. Shame washed over you as you saw his face contort from confusion to concern then paling with horror as his eyes teared reading.

After rereading your writing over and over, he looked at you with teary eyes, "Is this true?" You looked away, not responding as silent tears went down your cheeks. He gasped quietly and covered his mouth looking at the ground. "You can't do this to me y/n, I couldn't bear to live without seeing your face." Loki sobbed into his hand, his eyes closed.

You immediately looked at the prince. He moved over next to you and looked at your bloodstained sleeve. "Why, my love? Why?" You shook your head at the ground. "I can't, Loki. I can't do this anymore." He leaned into you and draped his arms around you. "Please" he sobbed lightly into your shoulder, "I couldn't do this without you, I love you so much y/n, more than you could ever know. Please don't go, please don't leave me." His voice was hoarse and pleading as tears streamed down his pale cheeks. You felt so bad for hurting his soul, hurting him. He loved you, he said. But why would he love you? He wiped the tears out of his eyes and stared intently at you.

"Look at me, y/n. You can do this." His voice was full and sad, and you squeezed your eyes closed. This can't be real! "Y/n" he said, his voice pleading. "Please say something, anything, please my love."

I- I love you too, it hurts me so much, I love you too much Loki!" You cried into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him, full blown sobbing." So many things went wrong in my life, and they keep on coming, I didn't know what to do anymore... I'm not strong like you!" You confessed, crying harder. Loki wrapped his arms around you, cradling you as he laid his head on yours and cried as well. " Y/n, you are the strongest and most brave person I met, you have gotten through so much pain and suffering in your life and you can overcome this, I believe you can." He whispered to you

" Oh god, Loki it hurts, it burns... every god awful day it hurts. More and more, I just want to feel happy, why can't I chase my ghosts away?" you sobbed, fed up with dealing with this on your own. Loki softly took your face into his hands, making you look at him. "My love, you can do this, we can do this, I will be there for you every step of the way to your recovery. My honeydew, please promise me to tell me everything, I don't want to lose the light of my life. You are my reason I get up every day. I love you so much."

Your heart thumped rapidly at his words. I love this man so much, you thought in adoration. "I promise Loki, I won't do this again." Loki pulled you into a tight hug, never wanting to let you go. You looked at him, your tears drying and you gave him a smile, he hasn't seen on your face for months. Loki, in a burst of new confidence, pulled into a deep and raw fiery kiss that sent electricity down your bodies. You returned the kiss, releasing all your pent up energy. After catching your breaths, Loki pulled you into his chest, cradling you with the most love you ever felt in a long time, and for the first time in your life, you finally felt at home.