Breaking the Rocks (Provincia de Marina Series #1)

Simula

Breaking the Rocks

Simula

I can't help but smile bitterly while staring at the couple sharing a sweet kiss in front of many audiences. If this is just a movie, I would have been elated to join the celebration, too. The thing is, I wasn't happy and I don't think I can ever be happy with what just happened. I chose to show my displeasure during the wedding but I couldn't bring myself to stop the ceremony.

Habang iniisip ang gagawin kanina, bumabalik naman ang kahihiyang makukuha ko kapag inistorbo ko ang seremonya ng kasal.

I wasn't born a wrecker but I was born a fighter. Pero hindi naman lahat ng laban ay kailangang maipanalo. May mga pagkakataong uuwi ka talagang luhaan sa kabila ng lahat.

I stared intently at the newly wedded couple. Pinaikot ko ang inumin sa loob ng flute glass na hawak. Afraid that the warmth of love surrounding the place will embrace me, I pushed the flute glass on my cheek and welcomed the coldness of the drink instead.

The way he held her delicately like a flower and the way he lovingly stared at her, kailanman hindi ko makukuha sa kaniya ang mga iyon.

I've been in love with Marcus for years, pero hindi ko man lang nagawang mahalin niya ako pabalik. I tried confessing but I got rejected. I've experienced countless rejections from him, I've never ever learned. Bumabalik pa rin ako na para bang kahit papaano ay umaasa na magbabago ang pagtingin niya sa akin.

Kapatid lang.

Iyon lang ang nakikita niya sa akin. Marcus was my cousin's friend and classmate. When I first met him before, I knew it was love at first sight. Hindi lang sa kaniyang ngiti ako nahumaling, ngunit sa maganda niya ring personalidad. He was the nicest person I've ever met despite our age gap. He was two years older than me pero hindi naging hadlang iyon para magustuhan ko siya.

I sighed heavily as I watched him kissed her tenderly. The way he closed his eyes indicates that the kiss was intimate and that he wants to savor it. Mariin kong kinagat ang aking labi. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa suot na wedding dress ng babae. I smiled bitterly. Mas mapait pa sa inuming napili kong lagukin. I felt the moist of the outer part of the glass. Lumipat na iyon sa aking  pisngi ngunit ininda ko lamang.

Ako. Ako noon ang nangangarap na makapagsuot ng damit na ganyan habang kasayaw siya. Nangingiti ako at sa kaniya lamang ang tingin. Pero lahat ng pangarap kong iyon ay naglaho na parang bula sa ere nang malaman kong may babae na siyang mahal. I was too desperate. I offered myself to him and he declined. I was naked in front of him and he refused to look at me. He said that I don't deserve to be treated that way. Na hindi ganoon ang isang babaeng katulad ko.

But what was I supposed to do? I liked him, heck, I love him! Sa kaniya ko ibinaling lahat ng atensyon ko. I never wanted any boys ever since I met him. Pinilit kong magseryoso kasi ang tipo niyang babae ay matalino at masipag mag-aral. I tried so hard to be his ideal girl. Sinikap ko naman. Pero bakit hindi ko pa rin siya nakuha?

Martyr ako. I kept on coming back to him, hoping that he would change his mind and he would change the way he feels about me.

Tinapos niya iyon. May hangganan ang lahat ng iyon. He put an end to my struggle of chasing him by marrying the love of his life, and clearly, that wasn't me.

Sino nga ba ako? I was more of a desperate woman. His wife, I could say, was rather beautiful and smart. Sophisticated even. Kahit subsob sa pag-aaral, parang hindi ko nakitaan ng pagod sa mukha at palaging confident na dalhin ang sarili.