Help me

Chapter four

Daves p.o.v March 12 2020
Dave slowly wake up hearing small snores "wait what am I doing in Joels bed?". He look beside him and see Joel's peaceful face.

Dave finds himself studying Joel sleeping mesmerized by his beautiful face and the way his chest rise every time he breathe. Joel look absolutely stunning even without styling his hair and without even trying.

"Stop Dave, he's your friend. You shouldn't be thinking this way about him. What wouldn't your parent say?" He knows exactly what they would say. They would say that they wished he had never been born and a disgrace to the family name. "And they're absolutely right, I'm disgusting and I will never be worth anything".

It didn't matter that Joel kept saying that he was worth something Dave knew he was lying. He had to be because everyone with eyes could see it.

If his parent ever found out he had slept in Joels bed, even if it was an accident, they would kill him and he knew it. "I will just have to make sure they never find out then".

"I should probably get out of Joel's bed before he wakes up" Dave don't know how Joel would react. One part of him is terrified and the other part is curious about how he would react if he found out.

Dave sits up slowly and look down at Joel one more time before standing up and leaving the bedroom silently.

"If he asks I'll just tell him I slept on the couch" Dave decides. Now he only have to wait for Joel to wake up. Or he could always just wake him.

"Nah I'll let him sleep, he deserves it after everything he have done for me yesterday. Plus he looked really tired because of that nightmare". Dave still didn't get why Joel even cared about him but it was nice of him.

"If you're gay you shouldn't be alive" his parents had told him and his sister Hannah so many times. Even after 5 year he still couldn't love himself because of that sentence. He still felt guilty every time he fell for a man and it only made it worse when he had to pretend to love those girls. When he had to lie on his channel and to his fans.

Some of the fans had seen the way he acted around Joel and thought he was gay. Luckily my parents almost never used YouTube for other than my channel which they had stopped after I released Spectrum.

They had told me they couldn't support any channel with that kind of content even if that was their sons channel and he only did it for views and followers.

If they knew I was staying with Joel they wouldn't be happy either even though we didn't do anything. In their eyes, it's bad if two boys spend time together even as friends. There always have to be 3 persons if you wanna hang out with other boys just to be 100% sure nothing happened.

"Morning, Dave," Joel voice says somewhere behind him snapping him out of all the negative thoughts.

"Morning, Joel, have you slept well?" Dave asks politely hoping he didn't know they had slept in the same bed.

"Surprisingly good, actually better than every other night the last few weeks" Joel answers
"must be because I'm not so lonely anymore".

"Did he know? No, he must be referring to my company" Dave bites his lip nervously.

"Did you sleep well Dave? Wait where did you sleep?" Joel looks suspiciously around the room.

"I slept fine thank you although the couch isn't exactly good for my back" now it finally helps him that he had to lie to his parents all life. He was really good to lie and make people believe him.

"Who would have thought that having to lie about my sexuality, my faith in God and my political views would pay off". The main reason that Dave didn't believe in God was that it said in the bible that God loved all his children. If that was true he wouldn't have let Dave live such a horrible life. No one that loved someone would have done that.