virago|c.g.|

xlv

The drive away from the Saviors was filled with silence, no one wanting to admit their fear of losing all they had fought for. Clary was the same, staying silent as she looked out the window of the RV, her eyes resting on the fast passing of green leaves and tall trees. The only ounce of ease that was produced was as she turned away, seeing Carl leaning against the counter of the small kitchenette, his gaze on her.

As he smiled to her, Clary realized that he almost looked the same. Such a thought came as she remembered the malice, the darkness, in his voice when asked if they were going to make a stand. She had never seen Carl as aggressive or quick to action, attributes she always thought were more hers than his. She knew him as careful and kind and a wanter of peace, an image that was tarnished when she seen his dark gaze.

The thoughts faded as she made her way to Carl, not wanting to bring them up in fear of him closing off to her. However, it seemed as if he already knew what was on her mind as a small frown fell upon his lips. "Everything okay?" Clary asked upon seeing his change. "You're picking at the skin on your nails." Clary was confused at his words until she looked down to see that he was right, the skin around her nails red and torn. "You do that when you're deep in thought. Just like you mess with your tags when you need to ground yourself and your bracelet when you're sad." Clary's gaze softened, a ghost of a smile upon her face. "You pick up on a lot more than you let on."

At that, Carl let out a soft laugh. "The last two I found out early on, but I wasn't sure about the nails. It wasn't until I got shot and you stuck around." Clary furrowed her brows as he smiled, reminiscing. "You would always look out the window when you thought I was sleeping, picking at your nails or biting the inside of your cheek. You do that during meetings too, so I just assumed."

It was silent for a while as Clary registered how well the boy knew her, much better than she thought he did. But the question still remained as she looked to him. "Are you okay?" Clary asked the boy besides her, causing him to sigh. "Clary—" she shook her head. "You're acting different. More impulsive, shoot first ask questions later. What's going on?" Carl sighed, knowing she was right. Sometimes he forgot how observant the girl was, the two of them picking up on certain aspects of each other that they didn't even realize.

"Ever since I got shot and lost my eye, I realized you were right. Alexandria is exactly what you said it was: a lie. It's a lie that, if we give in to, we die. It made me realize that we can't live in the world Alexandria creates because it's not there anymore. We need to fight, so that's what I'm doing." With one last look, Carl stepped away and her face fell, knowing he didn't want to speak about the change.

However, before Carl could move another step, the RV halted to an immediate stop, causing both of them to stumble. They didn't hesitate to grasp onto each other, steadying themselves as they looked past Abraham and out the window. From where she stood, she was surprised to see a tall pile of logs blocking the road.

Wasting no time, Clary made her way to the hall to guard Maggie, keeping her eyes on the front window as the group exited the vehicle. "Clary—" the girl turned to see Maggie trying to sit up, to which Clary rushed to her before helping her down. "You don't need to move, just rest." The woman shook her head. "I need to know what's happening, please. You all can't just leave me in the dark I—" Clary saw the emotion fill the woman's eyes, causing her to clench her jaw.

After a moment of thought, the girl nodded before smoothing back the woman's hair. "It's the Saviors. They're blocking every path we get to." Seeing the woman's widening eyes, Clary continued. "But don't worry, we'll get to Hilltop. We'll get you a doctor and everything will be okay." Clary was surprised as Maggie scoffed slightly. "You— you can't believe that, can you?" Clary's eyes softened, her jaw clenching as she realized Maggie was right. The girl, seeing all the destruction the Saviors has placed on her, she knew there would be no end.