LONGING || Kimetsu No Yaiba Oneshots

Frozen Feelings | Obanai Iguro

"Love may have the longest arms, but it can still fall short of an embrace."

—Anonymous

~~~~~

• YOU •

The snow falls. Slowly.

It scatters in my vision, hindering my stare at the dark night sky. One lands on the tip of my nose. A slight shiver rippling in my skin. It's not everyday to have a snow fall on your nose, especially in a precise spot like the tip. Still, it brought a little humor in me. I pull the scarf up in attempt to make myself warmer. I want to stay warm as much as possible in the coldest nights. Maybe tonight is the coldest I can ever feel.

"(Y/N)?" Your voice calls.

I smile. "Sorry. The stars seemed beautiful tonight."

You have a confused expression on your face. That's when I realize I just got caught lying. Who cares anyway? I'm not good in lying when I'm in front of you.

Mitsuri looks up. "How could there be stars when it's snowing?"

You step towards me, the white snow crunching underneath the soles of your shoes. I chuckle in attempt to ease your worries, but it doesn't seem to work at all. No matter how much I lie, you always see through them and drag the real me out.

You are always so good at reading people, especially me. We've known each other for the rest of our lives, yet there's one thing you never saw through my white lies.

You never read my feelings for you.

You ask, "Are feeling fine? Should we go back to your apartment?"

I want to bring you back with me. Hold you close and offer you the warmth of my body. But, that's just a distant dream—one that is out of my reach.

"I'm really fine, Iguro-kun. Something's on my mind just now."

I can tell you don't believe me.

Mitsuri takes my gloved hand. Even in the comfort of the thick fabric, my hands are cold to my fingertips. She offers me her sincerest smile. There isn't an ounce of doubt present, unlike me trying to cover up the pain behind my fake smiles.

You're so lucky, Mitsuri.

You share a glance with Mitsuri as if you're asking for permission. Mitsuri brightens up at the implication of your look. The coldness of the snow seems to seep in through my thick clothes and shiver my skin. What kind of bomb are you two going to drop?

I can feel the snow piling up on my bean hat. You two are so perfect with each other. I can never give the happiness she gives you. I can never make your eyes light up the way she does in such minimum effort.

Mitsuri claps her hands together. She can barely contain the happiness and giddy at your news.

"We plan to buy a house so we can move in together, (Y/N)-chan!"

Your finger brushes hers as if you're shy. Well, you've always been so shy. Mitsuri has to be the one to hold your hands together. The cold dry air of winter floods my nostrils. Does the snow want to comfort me?

I can see the smile behind your mask. "You mentioned it before, so I made some thinking. I think its time."

Ah, it's so satisfying to play Cupid, yet it hurts so much I feel like I'm going to die.

I put on the most fake smile I can muster. "Of course! It's about time! Congrats!" I turn to Mitsuri, "Please take care of Iguro-kun for me, okay?"

Mitsuri's smile disappears. Did she see through me? What an unexpected twist and irony. "(Y/N)-chan..."

Mitsuri lifted her lips in a small smile, one that should be meant to be comforting. "I will. Don't you worry!"

You're so lucky. You're too damn lucky, Iguro.

"You better not make Mitsuri cry, Iguro-kun! I'll kick your ass to North Pole where you'll freeze to death!" I threaten. You seem to be surprised at my sudden warning. Your beautiful heterochromatic eyes soften under my gaze. You answer, "I won't."

"Then—" It feels like winter deep within me. I can't take this anymore, "—I'll go."

You try to inquire what is wrong and I wave it off with things like, "I want to sleep," and "It's getting cold."

Yeah, tonight is the coldest I can ever feel, for now. My insides are freezing in bitterness. The snow continues to fall down on the pavement and on my head. The crisp air enters my lungs, leaving me breathless. The pain in my heart can never compare to the most heart-breaking scenarios in movies. Unlike those movies, my love won't be requited in the end. She and you will get married. I'll probably be in charge of the management and take the role of the Maid of Honor. I'll be the godmother of your children. I'll be the bridge between you and Mitsuri if you two fought. 

I'll only be a side character where the protagonist rejects her. I don't care if I'm that side character. I want to stay by your side, as a lover or as a friend. I can't imagine a world without you. I don't care about my own feelings as long as you're happy. I'll push aside this suffocating feeling in my chest. I won't mind the prick of a thousand needles in my heart every time you call me as a close friend. I'll push away this cold feeling in my body.

"Goodbye, Obanai Iguro."

If I do that, maybe—just maybe—the cold snow will melt and it will get warm again.