Exotic Dancer [MYGxPJM]

33.

^ the only polaroid Yoongi was allowed to make of Jimin ^

Jimin

-

I am very confused. I have no clue how I'm supposed to react right now. Living with Yoongi's ex might be the strangest thing someone has ever asked me to do. But instead of giving him that impression, I laugh. I haven't felt the touch of drugs in a while, which I was very proud of. Though, now that I have taken my first line with Yoongi's confusing consent, I feel better than ever. "We'll have to wait another three days but, at least we got a place to stay." "Chul.." I can only say his name. I'm pretty sure it'll wear out soon, considering I've been laying on this couch a lot longer than I expected. "S-So how am I going to get to work?" "Fuck." His tone tells me he completely forgot, and I quickly sit up, my head dropping on his shoulder. "It's okay, I can walk." "No way." He leans his head against mine, and for a few seconds, I feel very much connected to him. I take a deep breath to smell his scent, which is starting to smell more and more like home. I forgot what my house smells like. I only remember how I felt every time I sat in that living room of ours. How every single thing in the room scared me because I knew Junseo would use anything against me. I shiver when I see his face. "How long's your shift?" "Ah, If I remember correctly, I'll be done by 2." "2?! How many performances have you got?" I don't answer the question. My name has been written down many times. I have a lot of private clients that would love to see my body. I open my mouth, hesitating to let it fall out of my mouth, but I swallow the words back. Yoongi probably doesn't want to hear more about the private clients I have. 

"I'm taking a quick shower.." I stand up, head dizzy. It's definitely wearing out. I take off my clothes, the shower hot and ready. Everything seems to make no sense. I really did break up with Junseo, right? Or was that something in my head? I feel dirty, like I committed a horrible crime. I only let go of all those sorrows when I suddenly feel Yoongi's hands around my shoulders. He caresses them gently, planting small kisses in my neck. "You okay, sweetheart?" It feels like the high suddenly lets go of me. I want to cry, even though I'm not sure why. "I'm fine.." It feels good to be held like this, like I'm loved. I feel like I'm loved. I'm being loved, right? This is how it feels like, right? I lean back into his embrace, his arms around feeling more and more like my only place familiar to home. "Yoongi.." I whisper, hands now leaning against the wall as he massages my shoulders. Everything feels so right, the touch, the lips, the knot in my stomach. "Yes baby?" The word, the way it falls off of his pretty lips, the meaning behind it. Everything is so right that it feels wrong. It feels like I'm not supposed to be doing this because it's so fucking good. Everything that has ever gone well ended up being my misery, being my problem. I don't want Yoongi to become a problem. Especially because now that I think of it, I will probably get frightened anyways, and I'll start distancing myself from him. I don't want to do that to him. I don't even hate the thought of me feeling miserable, I much more hate the thought of hurting Yoongi. The possible love of my life. No. The definite love of my life. Fuck.

"Are you really in love with me?" I let the words fall out without thinking of it, and when his grip gets tighter, I already know the answer. I want to cry yet I smile. Especially when he says the most simple word on this planet. "Yes." It stays between us for a while, hanging around in my thoughts. Yes yes yes. I've never been anyone's love. No. Never. Never, right? Wait. No stop. I don't want to think about him. "Even If I'm not able to let go yet?" "Even if you decide to leave me for it." He kisses my shoulder again, but this time it feels much more tender. As if the word did something to my skin. "Even if you'd tell me you can't do it. I am in love with you, Park Jimin. You and everything around and about you." I turn around, giving him a soft kiss. It turns more eager when the knot in my stomach grows. Oh yes it is love. His hands grab a hold of my thighs, wanting to hold me closer than he can. I grab his hair with both my hands, wanting to get more of the taste in his mouth, the soft bitterness of dark chocolate hanging around in his mouth. "Do you believe me?" He whispers then, my mouth missing his taste already. "Y-Yes.. I just.. I don't want to become a burden. You know I share-" "And I am a drug dealer, Jimin. Yet you stay with me, too." "But I literally-" He kisses me again before shaking his head softly, his forehead against mine and his eyes closed. "No.." He just says, but it's enough for me to understand. "It isn't an issue, Jimin. Nothing is an issue because at the end of the day, I get to hold you like this.." His lips feels more and more eager every time they ask for another kiss.