Hold You Accountable (Published) | ✓

Kabanata 36

SATH
Kabanata 36

"Sarathiel..." Mom was looking at me while straightening my polo with her hands.

I moved backwards because I feel awkward. Hindi sa ayokong matawag na mama's boy o kung ano man, I just didn't feel like we were close enough for her to address me like this.

It was funny because she's my Mom. Under any circumstance, I should be close to her. Pero hindi naman lahat ng anak ay close sa magulang. It is as simple as that. I didn't feel any hate towards her but I know I'm not also as filial as any other child.

"Can I at least see you off to school?" she asked in a small voice. My eyebrow shot up, hindi ako agad nakasagot sa kanyang tanong.

"Nevermind..." dismayadong lumukot ang kanyang mukha. Hindi ko na lamang ito pinansin, I grab my knapsack and decided to leave before anything else happens.

I'm not a kid anymore but she still does that. Did she really want to make up for the times they neglected me?

I was opening the door of the car when my Mom hurriedly went towards me. A hopeful look on her face makes me feel guilty that I couldn't share the same sentiments with her.

"Please do tell if I can help with anything, okay?"

I nodded even though it wasn't true. I could never ask her for anything - ayokong umasang maibibigay nila. I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing, again.

They're trying and I'm grateful for it. Pero hindi talaga ako sanay. All my life up until now, all they ever do is work. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi, a child shouldn't be a reason for you to step down from your career.

I was watching a show on my phone while we were on the way to school. I was trying to divert my emotions from reacting to what happened earlier. I feel awful but indifferent at the same time. Hindi maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman para sa mga magulang.

Hinatid ako sa school ng family driver namin. I wasn't allowed to drive but Dad told me he'll let me choose my own car when I'm already on my legal age, that way he's sure I'm responsible enough for driving.

Being the good son that I am, I agreed. I never really saw them while I was growing, it made me feel I don't have a right to disagree with them.

Maaga akong nakarating sa classroom. All of them are almost familiar with each other since a groupchat was already made prior to our first day.

"Ang layo mo naman sa amin, Sarathiel." Iscalade hang his arm around my shoulder. A goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Mas malapit sa pintuan, mauuna ako sa dismissal." I clicked my tongue out. Sa totoo lang ay ayoko lang muna sa ingay. I wanted to finished the show that I was watching, I really didn't want to be bothered by anyone.

"You sure you don't want to sit with us?" tanong niya at tinuro pa ang ilan sa mga kaibigan namin na nasa iisang linya ng mga upuan. They even reserved a seat for me.

"Tunog mean boys," I smirked and nudged him. "Nah, I'm good."

I like being alone sometimes. Mas nagkakaroon ako ng oras para makapagisip-isip. It is not like I don't like their company, I just prefer not mingling with people.

Hinilig ko ang ulo ko sa upuan at tinakluban ang mukha ko ng hoodie na suot ko. I like wearing jackets and hoodie because I'm sensitive to cold.

I didn't want to be disturbed so I kept myself hidden from their sight by wearing the hood of my hoodie. Tinapos ko lamang ang natitirang episode nang marinig ko ang kaluskos ng upuan sa tabi ko.