Haikyuu Mafia AU: Alone (FINISHED)

Chapter XIX: Mistakes

"A mistake made with good in your heart is still a mistake, but it is one for which you must forgive yourself." (Linda Sue Park, When My Name Was Keoko) 

Silence.

That was all that surrounded them as they sat next to each other, gazes lost in the stars. It has been five minutes since Y/N sat down next to him, but Tsukishima was at a loss of words.

What could I say--sorry for kissing you? Or did she like it--I don't know what the hell to do.

Tsukishima tensed slightly as he felt Y/N's shoulder bumped into his--her body leaning further back in the tree. He looked over to see Y/N once again deep in thought, her eyes looking far off into the sky. Tsukishima took the moment to observe her, his eyes resting on the patched up gash on her cheek. Subconsciously he reached out and lightly grazed the gauze with his thumb.

"It's probably gonna scar."

Retracting his hand, Tsukishima's eyes met hers. That piercing blue gaze attempting to once again trap him in place. Quickly reverting his gaze, Tsukishima looked up towards the stars not wanting to let those blue eyes persuade him yet again. 

"That's what you get for being an idiot."

Y/N scoffed at his reply, her eyes now observing him. His calm demeanor was betrayed by the way his shoulders tensed and how he held his breath as she studied him. No matter how tough he acted, she already knew the capability she had to make him flustered. Even though he put up a tough front, she could tell that there was much more to him than what he let on. The more she observed him, the more she wanted to break down those walls of his--to know the real Tsukishima. 

"Akaashi won't say anything. He just has another way to piss me off is all."

Tsukishima's head snapped to Y/N's, her words catching him off guard. His eyes locked onto her's, this time not shying away from her piercing gaze.

"I'm sorry, I didn't--"

"Don't apologize. I didn't stop you-- it's not your fault."

"Yeah but--"

"Tsukki, it's fine." 

The use of his nickname didn't make him annoyed this time--instead it made him happy. He couldn't help but feel as though he wanted her to say his name like that, over and over again. However, he pushed the thought out of his head not wanting to dwell on the impossible. 

"Akaashi knew something else too--he knew about my past." 

As Y/N said those words, she watched as Tsukishima's expression turned from clouded over in thought to shock. She found herself saying the words before she could even think about it. For some reason, Y/N found herself wanting to tell him everything--something she has only done once before with Kuroo. 

"It's something I've only told Kuroo, but now Oikawa and that damn Akaashi know about it too."

Tsukishima watched as Y/N brought her knees to her chest so that she was able to rest her head on her knees. Her eyes gazed into the sky and her shoulders relaxed--it was the first time he has ever seen Y/N in such a vulnerable position. 

"Since we'll be combat partners through all this--would you keep my secret too?"

Tsukishima took a sharp intake of breath as Y/N's eyes landed on his. He noticed that her eyes were vulnerable and even scared--it was as if he could see a wall slowly start to crumble in her eyes. 

Without thinking twice, Tsukishima nodded his head and turned his body towards her.

"I will."

Y/N smiled lightly at his reply. For the first time, she had found someone else who she wanted to share her past with--her secrets and all. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes before once again meeting Tsukishima's serious gaze.