INTOXICATED \\Abhishek Sharma Fanfiction\\

18. Confusion.

ABHISHEK

I stared right into Zaisha's eyes.

"I was scared, Abhay." She whispered, looking down.

Breathing in and out, I tried to calm myself.

I sat on the edge of the cot, keeping my head on my palms.

"How many months?" I asked, softly.

"One and a half months pregnant." She said.

I closed my eyes.

What do I?

"How is it possible?" I questioned, shaking my head.

I looked up at her, only to meet her moist eyes. She was still standing on the same spot.

"Weren't you on birth control?" I questioned further.

"I was. But sometimes they fail to work. Very rarely. Just like in our case." She whispered.

Honestly, I was speechless.

I just didn't know what to say.

"Abhay, I-"

"Zaisha, I need some time to think." I spoke, standing up from the cot.

I barged out without even looking at Aish.

Grabbing my car keys from the coffee table, I walked out of the house. I really need some time to think.

*

Sitting on one of the rocks, I stared ahead at the water.

Versova Rock Beach always calms me down.

I shouldn't have reacted like that or just walked away from her. I now understood why she hid it from me. She knew I'd react like this. But honestly, I can't help myself from behaving this way.

I'm not even twenty-five yet and I still have a lot to do in life, especially in my career.

This baby is so unexpected.

I don't even want to get married this early just because Aish is pregnant. And I can't even imagine what people would react if Aish gives birth without the two of us getting married.

I mean, surely, it's common in the western countries and Aish would have no problem with it, because she's rarely in India.

But I know what people in India are like. If by any chance Aish gives birth to the baby without us getting married, people would go nuts. I don't even want to think about the names they'd label the baby and Aish.

Abortion does not even come in the options.

Knowing Aish, she'd surely raise the baby alone than to abort the baby.

I can't even let Aish walk out of my life. I cannot imagine my life without her.

I just don't understand what to do.

The more I think, the more I get confused.

Right now, I'm stuck somewhere between what if, what might, what could've and what never will, and all I want to know is what actually is.

I don't know what to feel anymore.

The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our mind of something our heart knows is a lie.

I can't get to convince myself that this is just a bad dream, which will come to an end but it's not that.

This is reality.

The reality is, Aish is pregnant.

And I fucking don't know what to do.

Ughh! God!

Everything seems to be exhausting me.

It's like I have to choose between my career and my happiness.

Abhay, just think about it. You can have a bang on career even with this baby in your life. Maybe, you're just overthinking right now. You can manage both professional and personal lives. You don't have to freak out.

But Abhay, what if things don't turn out the way you want it to be? What if your career backfires on you after this baby is born? How can you be so sure that you'd manage both professional and personal lives? You never know.

I closed my eyes and thought for a few seconds.

"I know what to do." I told myself.

I ran to my car and quickly started driving back home.

I know what to do, and I'm going to do this.

Whether Aish likes it or not.

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