desperate// yugbam

26 💘

"I miss you." I mumbled. Clenching my hand feeling a little stab on my palm from my finger nails.
"and so much, yugyeom. I don't wanna stay here."

"where do you want to be then?" I always admired yugyeoms sleepy voice. we've been talking on the phone since I got home. It's now 1am. There's so much to say in so little time.

"anywhere where you are.." we both laughed on the line. I've never felt so much love and admiration for another human. It feelt so odd. But comforting. I didn't know you can become home sick from a person too. There were so many unfelt feelings, left out words, and the most importantly, the warm embraces.

"how awake are you?"

"wide awake"

he hummed. I heard the bed creak on the other line and a bit of shuffling.

"yugyeom. What are you doing?" I giggled. sighing and rolled onto my back. "Get ready. Hop out out your window."

this is why I love Kim yugyeom. "Say less" I hung up, grabbed a jacket, got my shoes and out the window I went.

"ow" I winced. the stupid window got ahold of my ass. damn.
hearing a honk at distance a wide smile grew on my face. The headlights of yugyeom's car flashed against my body as he got out and took a quick picture.

"okay where are we going? also make sure I'm home before sunrise."

"Since when do you have a curfew?" yugyeom laughed, opening the door for me as I hopped in.
"Since today." I commented. Pulling him in for a small kiss, blushing softly. too fast. too fast bambam.

yugyeom lifted my head with his index finger and I blushed harder. stop stop stop.
"you're so pretty. I wanna fuck you in front of a mirror."

I blushed furiously hard. he makes my stomach whirl.

"y-yes"

"yes what?"

"you can fuck me in front of your mirror..." I mumbled. I felt my face hot. I didn't think degrading/embarrassing myself was something I enjoyed. fuck me. why am I like this.

"how pathetically adorable you are."

we arrived back at his house and we just sat in silence. it wasn't an awkward moment. just silence. yugyeom ended up going to the bathroom and I began to wander around his living room. the first time I came here I didn't investigate the place throughly. not that I should to begin with, I'm just curious.

I hummed as my finger glided against the books that were neatly organized on a shelf pulling a few out of spot looking between the pages. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for, just anything that will catch me at surprise. I played some soft lounge music on the stereo, dancing my way through the front door where dozen of keys were on a holder.

"huh. This one looks odd." yugyeom had a pink key. I placed it in the back of my pocket. Not stealing. eyeing at the bottom drawers I dropped down digging through them. papers, unopened mail. aha, there was a metal box all the way at the back. of course It would be locked. Turning it over there were scribbles and more scribbles.

"Jinyoung and yugyeom were here, 2008" I mumbled. what is this? Some sort of time machine box thing siblings would do and then open it 10 years later to find childhood memories. reaching into my back pocket to take the pink key and examining it.
My eyes widened at how perfectly this key fit to the box. If there's something valuable in here, he would want people to find it, because who leaves a key like this with other ordinary house keys?

a gun? and jewels!? holy fuck. I laughed. taking the gun out it's place, holding it as I aimed towards a wall. it has no reason to be decorated like this. the gun was silver with hot pink and blue, gems plastered on its handle, with a jet black silencer. I was in love. walking towards the mirror I placed the gun inwards into my mouth and pretend to shoot. I laughed loudly. this is fucking sick. I want one.

fuck fuck fuck yugyeoms out. I sprinted placing everything back into its place, leaving the key back with the others. I looked at the dazzling gun once more. I'm going to hell. I tucked it in the back covering it with my jacket and sat back down on the couch. fuck I'm shaking.

"I thought I was hallucinating when I heard music all the way from the bathroom."

"Thought we can dance a little? you know, let the worries leave our body." I stood up and pulled yugyeom into the middle as I turned up the music. and began to dance.

"you look odd" yugyeom commented.
"C'mon just dance! let it all out!" I laughed at yugyeom stiff dancing, but I let him do this own thing. I can't believe I practically stole a whole gun from him. I hope he can't see it if I turn around. I checked the time and it was 3am.

"hey- can you take me home now..? its already three and I'm a bit tired."

"time really went by that fast? Plus it's not even sunrise yet"

"hey! I said my curfew would be before sunrise."

"fine. Get your things then"

"I didn't bring anything."

"Smart."

I smiled walking towards the door hoping some bad karma and the gun slips out. throwing yugyeoms car keys at him and I walked out.

"thank you for getting me out my home for awhile.. I always have fun with you."

"is that so."

"and I'm tired. aren't you?"

"Badasses don't sleep"

"who the hell said your a bad ass? bye" I teased as I shuffled since my back isn't comfortable at the very moment.

yugyeom dropped me off hopping back into my room I smiled softly at the thought that, I'm getting used to giving him kisses now. I'm not sure what we are but I like it. Sitting on my bed eyeing the gun. I can't lie. I've never felt more, powerful?? felt pretty? Facing towards the mirror I turned the gun towards me at the side of my head.

I'm not suicidal, but I worship the thought of having this pointed at me.