Found In the Past

22

Albus's POV:

"Rose!!" I desperately call after the flash of fiery red hair. She disappears into the crowd in the hallway, and  I know I haven't done anything wrong, but I feel like I really have. I give Rowle a 'now-look-what-you've-done' stare that I know is a tad bit unfair. Well my life seems to be very unfair right now. First off, I get a totally unrequited crush on my best friend. Then, he happens to fall for my cousin. And then to make it all even better,  my cousin learns about my crush and proceeds to run away. It's like that muggle soap-opera show on the telly that my mum got into last summer.

"You're thinking about Scorpius again. Wow... that look comes back so often. You must have it  real bad," Rowle interrupts my thoughts and I scowl slightly, hating that she's right.

"Whatever," I suddenly bite my lip nervously, a new fear rising in my mind. "Do you... think she'll tell anyone?" Bloody hell, what if she tells Scorpius? Rowle shakes her head at me, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Albus! Do you really think Rose, your cousin, would do that to you?" She rolls her eyes as I slowly shake my head. "You should talk to her though," She tells me as gently as she can, motioning in the direction we just watched her run off in. I reach up to ruffle my hair but catch myself half-way.

"What should I say?" I start pacing in the space where I was standing, worry still clawing at my gut, "What about: Hey, Rose! So Paige said that I love Scorpius, but she totally means platonic love because that definitely makes sense!"

"Not that one," Rowle sighs and massages her temples before pulling out a big, leather-bound book out of her pack. Why are all my friends so smart?

"Ok... so... Rose! Paige is crazy! I'm not the nargle. In fact SHE'S the nargle! How could I love Scorp? Pfft," My mouth instinctively twists up into a soft smile as it forms my best friend's name. I am not helping my case at all.

"I like that one better," Rowle's shoulders shake with laughter at my stupid, contradicting expression. "Still not the one though. Try again."

"Rose! Totally didn't see you there! So I'm bisexual by the way and I'm in love with my best friend. Who I know you fancy too. I'm going to go now. Killing curse!" I feint pointing my wand at my chest and dramatically gasp.

"I think that's the one," Paige laughs at me, applauding slightly.

"I just died. Did you see me die??" I stick my lower lip out in a pout, "That is NOT the one."

"Nope, I'm still pretty sure that's the one!" She tells me with a broad grin.

"Do you want me to die?" I exclaim in disbelief.

"Well...?" She laughs. "Would you maybe look at a book if you were dead?"

"Of course not," I grin, but it fades off my face quickly as I remember my current situation. I have to tell my cousin SOMETHING or she'll hate me forever. "Where is Rose?" I ask cautiously.

"I don't know actually. She sometimes disappears outside to clear her head, but she's never told anyone exactly where she goes. I'm sure you'll find her if you wander around the grounds though," Rowle tells me with a shrug.

"Thank you," I tell her with a smile. "Hopefully I'll be alive next time we meet!" She flashes me a thumbs up as I race off to find my cousin.

*****

It takes me the better part of an hour  just wandering around the Hogwarts ground before I spot Rose sitting down next to a big slab of stone. It takes me 5 more minutes to convince my legs to walk up the hill after that. I manage to steady my nerves enough to speak once I'm within a few feet of her.

"Rose?" I ask, sitting down on the ground since I don't want to scare her away. I doubt I could catch her if she runs away again since Rowle is of very little help currently. Rose looks over her shoulder at me, her face betraying no emotion at all. I feel a familiar 'I-wish-I was-like-her thought' flit across my brain. Unlike her amazing ability to keep her emotions hidden, my face tends to give everything away.

"Is it true?" Her voice shakes slightly as she talks, the only sign I can find that something's wrong.

"Diñsñwbehekdjdj," I mumble, my mouth briefly losing the ability to form words. "I mean yes... I like boys... and I like Scorpius. I think I uh love Scorpius, actually," My voice catches on the word love like it always does. "But he loves you. Not me," I add quickly. I try to pretend like it's fine, but my sad expression for sure gives me away.

"How did you know you loved him?" Rose asks me quietly, still not sounding at all like her usual self.

"I don't know," I give a half-hearted shrug, "I-It's like when he's with me I can't think straight. Then when he's gone it's like my brain can't function without him even more so... well that explains why I act like an idiot so much," I grin slightly, "Also my heart is about ready to die whenever he does that little smile thing, or when he's trying to remember something and he gets that adorable look," I can't help but smile again before adding, "ButIdon'tmeantotellhimoranythinghedoesn'tlikemelikethatsoreallythismeansnothing," I breathe, "Please don't tell anyone," I beg her.

"Of course not," Rose scoffs and swats at the air in front of her like it's offensive I'd even think that. "But... you really told Paige first instead of me?" I wince slightly.

"No... well she figured it out on her own," I admit awkwardly, running a hand through my hair.

"I think you should tell Scorpius," she tells my out of the blue and I gasp slightly. Whatever I thought Rose was going to say? That wasn't it. "I had a little crush on Scorpius ages ago, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to tell him. I think you're wrong about him loving me if it makes any difference."

"I-I can't," I stutter, stupefied. Rose raises her eyebrows and purses her lip at me. That look she has mastered can make you rethink the color of a cauldron, or in this case, my denial of my feelings. "Of course he doesn't like me."

"How do you know until you try?" She asks me logically, and I suddenly realize can't think of an answer for that. I sigh when Rose smiles in victory like she's just won the Triwizard Tournament or something. We're left in silence with each other, but this time it doesn't seem as awkward or wrong as it was before. "Why did you pick this place?" I gesture towards the hillside we're sitting on.

"THIS is where my mum punched Scor's dad," Rose grins and I can't help but smile too.

"Good place," I say as seriously as I can muster.

"Very," she agrees and we sit in silence for a moment longer. The sun had already started setting above us, so we can't stay out here long. We end up making our way to the Great Hall together, bumping into each other and laughing. It's almost like how close we used to be when we were kids. And who knows? Maybe Scorpius wrote to me after my stupid love declaration.