Found In the Past

33

Scorpius POV

"Scorpius needs to rest now," the doctor who's been helping me informs my father, stepping away from the bedpost.

"May I have a moment alone with my son?" My father asks him, raising an eyebrow. A small glare accompanies the gesture, as if he's daring the doctor to disagree with him after the ordeal we've just been through. The doctor nods curtly and steps out of my room, leaving me alone with my father. I start playing with the heavy quilt on my bed, trying to hide the uncontrolled shaking in my hands. "How do you feel?" Father asks quietly, sitting down on the chair next to my bedside.

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel," I answer honestly before looking up to see my father rubbing his chin wearily. There's a layer of stubble on his face, a physical reminder of how hard these past few weeks have been on every one of my family members.

"That's normal," he tells me, hand dropping back to his lap with a sigh.

"I just want things to go back to how they were before," I whisper, my voice raw against my throat.

"They will go back, Scor. One day," my father says quietly, but even he doesn't sound sure of it.

"It will never be like that again. She's... Mum's never coming back," tears sting my eyes as I block out my thoughts so I won't break down again. The words hurt me. They hurt me just as much as the day I woke up to a world without Astoria Malfoy in it. The first day I had to survive without my mother.

"I know... I know Scor," my father's voice sounds so broken that I look up to find a single tear running down his cheek. "But she wouldn't want us to stay like this. She would be so worried about you..." I nod, words lost to me. "We're going to find out what's wrong and we're going to find a way to help you. You've done nothing wrong, okay?" A familiar sharpness returns in my father's steel grey eyes and I nod again.

"I want this to stop," I manage to choke out, emotions creating a hard lump in my throat.

"We all do," he agrees, a sad smile forming on his lips. "Albus especially," he can't seem to help but add. I nearly faint all over again as I remember what I accidentally overheard my best friend tell me.

"Right," I try to scoff, but my lips stumble over the motion and I end up coughing awkwardly. Just then, the door opens again and the boy I'm thinking about way too much right now walks in slowly.

"Hullo," Albus offers awkwardly. Our eyes meet almost magnetically and a relieved smile breaks across my best friend's face. It looks like a load of worry has just been lifted off his shoulders, and a wave of guilt crashes through me. I've caused those I love so much pain...

"I'll leave you two alone," My father stands up quickly, looking at me pointedly with a small smirk. I sigh quietly and sink into the pillow behind my back, wishing I could just disappear. Talking to Albus has never made me nervous, I weakly try to reason with the butterflies that have emerged full force in my stomach.

"You're awake," Albus whispers as he walks closer, shaking his head as if he doesn't believe his eyes.

"Mmm hmm..." I smile tightly. Al notices my hesitancy right away and a strange sort of tension appears between us. I stare up at the ceiling, resisting the urge to scan his face to try and find the person who said that he loved me an hour ago. I finally meet his searching green eyes but all I find in them is Albus, my wonderful, concerned friend who I may have just accidentally put through hell and back.

"Yeah..." Al sits down carefully on the edge of the bed. I am suddenly very aware of how close we are, and he leans back as if thinking the same thing.

"Albus I-" I start to say, searching for the words to explain how I feel. I want to tell him that I heard everything he said to me while I was 'unconscious.' I want to be brave and admit that yes, I love him too. But I can't find those words.

"I'm just glad you're okay. I was worried," Albus admits, looking away. I decide I can't trust myself with words and silently take his hand in mine instead. He rotates his hand and our fingers intertwine, making my heart ache painfully. The room becomes startlingly silent.

"Sorry," I say softly, unable to take the quiet.

"Why won't you tell me about the world with Voldemort in it?" Albus asks, making my eyes widen in surprise at the random question.

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously.

"You never talk about it. That's your nightmare... isn't it?" Albus presses lightly, emerald eyes shining with worry in the dim light. I open my mouth to answer but close it, lost for a response once again. "Scorpius?" He asks, waving his free hand in front of my face in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Some of it," I manage to say. How am I supposed to tell him about what I see when every time I see it, it leaves me worse off than before?

"You don't have to hide things from me," Albus reminds me quietly.

"I know," I say quietly, "but..."

"But what??" Al's eyes narrow slightly in concern. "What is it?"

"That world was a nightmare. A nightmare I had to live and breathe in," I state simply, staring into his eyes with an intensity that I know rivals his own.

"That world is gone. Because of you. It's gone, okay?" Albus mumbles quietly, his eyes searching mine as if looking for an answer. He shifts closer to me on my bed-turned-makeshift-hospital-space.

"You'll be here?" I ask quietly, leaning closer to him on a sudden instinct. I watch his lips part slightly and realize I'm staring at them. I'm positive we're both fighting the same feeling right now.

"I promise," he swears, moving slightly closer. Our faces are close enough for me to see the small, light green circles in the middle of his eyes. "Scorp?" Albus breathes, hesitating slightly.

"I know," I tell him, a million different answers in one. I watch the hesitation leave Al's eyes in a split second. He closes the short distance between us, finally pressing his soft lips firmly on mine. Sparks shoot through me as I sink into him in a way I never dreamed of doing, wrapping my arms around his waist while trying not to smile.

In the middle of potentially one of the biggest moments of my life, my mind seems to notice one thing above all the rest: My hands aren't shaking anymore. And I don't think they will any time soon.