Chapter 19

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As much as I hated it, I couldn't stop thinking that some people were just destined to be unhappy, destined to a life of misery. Even more, I couldn't stop feeling that I fell amongst such people. And to be honest, it was extremely hard for me not to think this way. Everything in my life constantly seemed to be unraveling, falling apart. I had finally found a bit of happiness and it was snatched away from me before I could easily fully grasp it. She was snatched away from me.

The tears on my face were still fresh. I had been seated on the floor in the same position for two hours now, just slowly turning my phone over and over in my palms as the emotions of despair oozed out of me.

I thought of Mis Rose. Her perfectly chiseled face, her delicate bone structure, her smile. My heart hurt me all over again and a fresh set of tears began brimming in my eyes.

Maybe Caroline was right.

Maybe this was all my fault for even falling for Miss Rose in the first place. We were from two completely different worlds. How could I ever imagine that Miss Rose could be with a person like me? There was never a chance of us lasting anyway, I was going to go back to Grad school as soon as I had saved enough money. I didn't plan on working with Starlight Industries forever, this was just a phase of my life till I found my footing. After which, I might never even see her again. Maybe I'd even forget all about her in a year or two.

I tried to tell myself that what I felt for Miss Rose was not real. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing but a little crush. That my feelings were not serious, were not real... but deep down within me I knew this wasn't true.

I did not doubt that Caroline was making empty threats. I could see the truth just by looking into her eyes, there was no emotion there except for anger. Not even hurt, just anger. She was a mentally unstable woman with a shit-ton of anger. I was certain that if I had stepped out of line tonight, she would have pierced that knife through my heart. The worst part is, I didn't even think she realized that. She would have done it as a spur-of-the-moment situation, blinded by anger, and hence, all other sense of reasoning would have been given a back seat. She would have driven the knife clean through me and I would have bled out in under five minutes.

There was no way I could risk this. Irrespective of what I felt for Miss Rose, I couldn't put my best friend's life in danger because of her. I couldn't risk my future because of her. I refused to do it.

I heaved a deep sigh of conviction as hot tears fell down my face. I had to do exactly what Caroline wanted. There was simply no two ways about it.

I didn't get a single ounce of sleep that night. I did not want to have to deal with the nightmares that I knew would be intensified. Paranoia kept me up all night. I constantly stared at my door expecting Caroline to burst through, knife in hand, eyes ablaze. She'd tell me she had changed her mind and wanted me completely out of the picture, then she'd jab the knife right through my heart. All night I stayed awake on high alert. All night, I thought of what was to come.

I thought of what I had to do and felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces a million times over.

The sun began to rise, and I watched the whole thing from my bedroom window. I wished it didn't rise. I wished it would never be day again; I wished I would never have to see another day again. But yet, as much as I willed it not too - day came around. I watched as the morning turned into noon and in the same manner, noon turned into eve. My stomach growled, but I didn't care. I did not see the point in doing anything. I didn't see the point in getting up and making myself a meal. I did not see the point in anything.

Things I hadn't thought about in years suddenly resurfaced to the top of my mind, dark thoughts. I pondered these dark thoughts in my head for a while, but was immediately snapped out of my thoughts when I heard an alert go off from the next room.

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