To The Moon And Never Back

C9

Another quiet time here sa library. Nathan dropped me here sa library bago niya imemeet si Xyra. Why do I feel like I am the 'kabit' in this story? Well, I'm not. Xyra is! Napapadabog  ako dito sa library and nahulog ang mga books na hawak ko.

Pagka patong ko sa table ng mga books I sighed heavily until someone started taking.

"Hey, chill. Fictions? I bet you're way romantic huh? Hahah" Samuel said while reading his book with a coffee.

" Samuel! Hi, how are you? " I asked. Samuel is like my friend too, huling kita ko sakanya, noong na hospital ako I should be thankful sakaniya though.

"I'm good, I just dated Queenie, from your department. But... She's so low-key so we stopped talking. What about you and Nathan? " He asked.

Wow, iniistop nalang nito agad ang relasyon sa isang tao pag gusto niya... And Nathan?... Uh, maging open ba ko? Or wag. Oo, wag! Nakakahiya baka... Di pala sincere si Nathan sa lahat. Then ioopen ko agad? Okay, shush muna.

"Nathan? Oh, were still friends. Nothing matters haha" I awkwardly giggled.

Samuel and I talked inside the library for like hours now. Ang saya niya kausap and kasama. He even spoiled me sa book na dala ko! Grr! Dumadaan ang time na sisikip ang dibdib ko at mawawala habol ng hininga ko. I didn't payed attention much so, I kept on drinking water and acting normal. After having a good talk with Samuel, nauna na sha for a review sa test nila.

"Hey, I gotta go. Message me if you're hosting a dinner okay? Hahah, take care and... Umuwi kana, baka may mangyari pa saiyo dito. " He said and tapped my shoulders.

I nodded and watched him leave the library. Mejo nakakasad pala pag mag isa na. Maybe I should call Nathan... Ay, kasama pala yung Xyra! Silly me. Pag bigyan ko na nga sila ng time...

I sighed and binigay na ang library card ko. I borrowed 3 books so ibabalik ko rin agad. And nag review na ako for our test.

I stayed inside the library for ac and nag chat bigla sila Nika.

nikanika.o: here at mnl na, where u guys? Lalo kana ms Toria!

victoriatories: guys, fetch me here;( I'm at the library. di ko nadala car kasi drinop lang ako ni Nathan!

patxrisha: bubb im sorry I cannot... I'll try,pero I'm here pa sa airport sa duty free buying some wine hihi what u guys want? Tori,try to call Nathan kaya girl?

rinaleigh.rl:talino naman naten jan Trish! Tingin mo hindi papasundo si Tori saatin kung iccall niya si Nathan? Sige sis try sunduin kita. After ng soccer dito;( titirahin ko talaga mga nimal na pabebeng to!!

victoriatories: girls its fine! Goodluck sa game mo Rina! Bahala ka jan Trish hahaha! Bilhan mo ako ng chocolates! And Nika, fetch me here! -_-

nikanika.o : omy! omy! hold on papagas lang huhu.

I waited outside the library para iwait si Nika. Ng bumalik ang sakit nakaramdam ako ng sakit sa dibdib. I tried to stay calm as possible pero di ko mabeat ang init.

Umiikli ang habol ng hininga ko at nanghihingal na ako agad.

I can't breathe properly. Hinahanap ko ang inhaler ko pero wala sa bag ko.

Bakit napaka unexpected nito. Bigla bigla.

Hawak ko ang chest ko and napapapikit sa sakit.

I tried calling Nathan pero naka off phone niya. Ang dami ko nang calls pero naka off parin talaga. Where the hell is he. I need him right now.

I'm panicking right now to the point that napaupo ako sa gitna habang inaantay si Nika.

I'm catching my breath and looking for my water. I'm shuddering right now and about to drink my water when I trembled and naspill lahat. Everyone was looking at me. Some asked me if I'm okay. Do I look okay!? I need help. I need oxygen.

I'm coughing so loud and I feel like red na red na ko. I'm holding my chest and naka upo sa floor pero not really na naka upo, naka support ang legs ko and naka apak parin ang mga paa ko.

No one insisted to bring me to the hospital. May mga nag bibigay ng water pero I can't even reach it. Until I heard Nika's scream.

Wala na ako naaalala dahil blurr na lahat at napapikit na ko. Paopen open ang eyes ko to see what's happening pero I really can't see or understand anything. I closed my eyes while tears are flowing in my cheeks.

"You're gonna be fine. I'm sorry for being late" that's the last thing I heard from Nika. She hold my hand while driving.

* I was just sitting here sa swing, enjoying the stars, the view, myself, I know I'm missing someone at this moment. Pero hindi ko masabi. I've loved him so much. Its been months pero I have to accept the fact that he's never coming back to my arms. Ang bitter. Sobra. It's been months, pero sha parin. I'm proud to say that I never had regrets sa lahat. Dahil bawat segundo, ginusto't nasayahan ako doon. I wasn't ready. But I will soon. I can't point out kung sino ang naiisip ko dito ngayon. Alam kong ito ang nararamdaman ko. Ang pait ng pangyayari. Lahat, mapait. Masaklap. Makita ko lang siya masaya. Masaya na ako para sakaniya. Kahit sobrang pait. Kahit hindi siya saakin sumasaya. As long as he is happy, I am too.*

"Time check, it's 10pm. She slept for almost 12hrs. Sir"

Nightmares, but it felt so real.