To The Moon And Never Back

C23

Every day
Every hour
Every moment
I’m thinking of you through the miles
and loving you.

Words can't explain how tough I am right now to see my boyfriend drive on our way to the airport. I'm holding our passports but flying to different state.

' I do believe his mouth is heaven,
His kisses falling over me, like stars'

"W-were here." Nathan said with his nervous voice.

I smiled and acted like it's fine. Time check. It's 11pm, Dec 30.

"Daddy! Wait for me! I'll miss you!"

"Mommy I'm here where are you?"

" Hold on imma head to the duty free for pasalubong"

" Where's the van? "

Everyone's busy here at the airport. They're all excited, sad, worried. Noon, iniisip ko na bakit ganto, malungkot ang iba sa airport. Bakit ako excited kasi bibiyahe. Now, I understand. Tita and Tito went to the California last night. So it's just Nathan.

I'm holding my tears so tight right now. I can even feel my heart pumping out loud. Pero wala ako nararamdamang sakit. Napaka lamig ko ngayon at hindi ko alam paano haharapin ang 12am.

12:10am, sabay ang flight namin. Mag ka iba ng direksyon.

Eto na ata ang pinaka masakit para saakin.

"Nath, where do you wanna stay for a while?" I locked my arms around his arms and bit my lip. Forcing myself not to cry and not to be dramatic here.

" Starbucks? Tara?" We walked towards the Starbucks and sat with a drink. While our suitcases are in front of us.

"You're never gonna forget to take meds okay?" He said. Kitang kita ang luha na palabas sakaniya.

" Nath, dont cry. Di naman ako mawawala. I'm just at the Philippines, and you're at Cali. 10hrs? I guess. At least we can do facetimes right?" I tried to hold my tears too.

" I love you" he said and hold my hand.

" I love—" my voice cracks and my tears started to fall. I wiped it out using the back of my hands.

"Let's not be corny!" I chuckled. He looked really serious and he swallowed really hard that caused his Adams apple to move heavily.

I sighed heavily.

"You. I love you" I said. And he hugged me. Until we heard fireworks outside.

We went out to the terrace since there is a view and marami ang nag pipicture, some are crying and some are happy.

We watched the fireworks display and I saw his tears flowing. Mine too.

We hugged each other and tried to cheer up.

"Happy New year, baby" he kissed my forehead.

"Happy, New—New year, baby" I'm holding my tears.

Until the alarm of our flight was announced.

It's time.

"Hey, take meds okay? Don't miss me much. Please?" I can see his teary eyes.

" I'll see you. " I just said and hugged him.

Separate. We finally separate. But our hands are still together. Until only two fingers holding. Until our index. And now we're walking away from each other.

I turned around. Tears, flowing like waterfalls.
My heart dropping like there's no power.
My legs wanting to run towards him.
Everything is so hard.

I'm now entering our plane. Crying. And seeing myself the next day at the unit without him.

Everything, hurts so bad.

Im seated at the window seat and I don't mind checking who's beside me.

Fireworks are everywhere.

Their smiles. Are so wide.

Why can't I smile.

I turned my phone on.

"Happy New year baby, were off:) I love you sm<3"

I can't help but to cry.

"Happy New year, baby. Ily! We just flew.. :)"

"Miss are you okay? Bagong taon na bagong taon... Move on na!" a guy who's seated beside me tried to cheer me up. I can see that he's younger than me. Siguro 17?

"I'm fine, happy new year" I greeted him.

'Inside those walls you are doing your time,
Not being here with me is your only true crime.
Others in your life will come and go,
But my love is true, and i’m sure you know.'