Callous

Chapter 12/owing you a favour

"Azaan!"

I find my brother in the garage, keys in hand and ready to leave as if he doesn't give a crap about Aarib's safety. He probably doesn't.

"If you've come here to make me apologize to that—I am not apologizing to him," he barks back.

He definitely doesn't care.

But I do, so I defend Aarib because he is not here to defend himself. "What you did out there was completely and utterly irrational! How can you just randomly hit someone like that?"

"Well then he should've stood away from you! I cannot bare this behavior, Haya. And I definitely do not expect this from you of all people!"

My mouth hangs open. Is he. . . "Are you accusing me that I am in a relationship with Aarib?" I can't believe him right now. Hurt slams into me like a rock, almost making me fall in darkness. But there's a light that pulls me back so I can defend myself too. "Aarib is not even my friend."

He scoffs. "Not even a friend?" He folds his arms across his chest. "Where were the two of you before you came in the living room."

"In my room. Aarib wanted to go to the bathroom and since the guest bedroom is off limits and Mom's bedroom is locked, I had no other option."

"You're just trying to find reasons to justify yourself now. You could have told me! I could have taken that prick myself!" Azaan's roar makes me flinch, makes me take a cautious step back.

Regret immediately flashes in his eyes. He closes his eyes and sighs heavily, but I am already crying.

I could never once imagine Azaan would ever use this tone with me, and for something I am not even responsible. Yes, I do expect Hassan to get angry with me like this, but Azaan? He is my best brother. A ball of hurt slams hard into me, like it's on fire. Tears blur my vision but I can see the guilt my brother is feeling now. He used to say he would never make me cry.

But he just did.

"Haya. . ."

I turn around and sprint away from him, wanting to be as far away as possible. I feel like I am drowning and there is nothing that can save me. I feel like I have been betrayed, my trust has been betrayed.

I collide with someone standing in the stairs, my shoulder hitting them hard. I know instantly who it is.

Aarib stares at me. This is the first time he's seen me crying, although I had hoped there wouldn't be a first time. He doesn't say anything, just moves back and observes me with those ocean blue eyes. I see no emotion there. Nothing. Just a black void there. His posture is different too. He's more alert. More reserved. More everything. And even though he's got a bruised red nose, his beauty just got amplified.

A thousand words. I want to say a thousand words to him. I want to say a thousand apologies to him.

"It wasn't your fault, you know." He's trying to make me feel better. He's failing.

"Sometimes, we can't blame ourselves for all that happens in life." I wish he'd show any emotion with the words that he is speaking. But he doesn't. "It can be too much for us if we take the responsibility for the whole world. It could crush us. Shatter us. Ruin us."

Tears keep on flowing down my cheeks. I probably have mascara smudged around my eyes but I don't care. I am just watching this—watching how losing a friend feels like, even though this boy standing across from me isn't my friend.

"I should get going," he says.

I am leaving, is what he doesn't say.

I nod my head despite wanting to stop him from going. This is the worst goodbye ever, and my insides coil with stress to even think that Aarib is back to being the cold, calculated, callous boy.