Callous

Chapter 29/Selfish, heartless

Aarib

My patience was running short, and don't ask me why.

I had no idea myself.

For years I had spent my life hating my father, hating why he did what he did. It was as if every time I remembered his face or his old man's voice, my stomach recoiled with anger. Everyone has their own sorts of nightmares. It depends on us how we deal with them, whether we let them make us stronger, or let us cry at night.

I preferred the former.

After the very dramatic encounter between Mashel and Zayan during which Mashel oh-so-smoothly dropped her phone and stormed off into the house straight out ignoring Zayan, Haya's mother had called her, explaining to her daughter that the cousin who was in the hospital was getting worse.

I straight away took Haya to the hospital her mother had given us the address for.

She was quiet for the entire twenty minutes' drive—we had rented a car. Although the painful silence was doing a marvelous job of killing me, I decided to just stay silent mainly because Haya seemed. . .detached—her emotions shut off and no hint of anything displayed on her sharp features.

I cleared my throat, parking the car alongside the curb, and mumbled, "Do you want me to come with you?" I jutted my chin towards the hospital, and she glanced at me.

"No. I don't want to explain to my relatives about our marriage. Mom said she didn't tell anyone yet."

Fair enough.

"I'll just be waiting here, okay? You take as much time as you want." I covered her hand with mine and smiled, trying to show her I was here for her whenever she needed me.

She tried—she tried to smile but failed. Horribly so. "I won't be gone for long."

And then she climbed out of the car, and I watched as she robotically marched towards the emergency building with her shoulders squared and back straight.

I slumped back against the seat, blowing out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

What was this? What was our relationship? We acted like robots, save for the few tears and laughs we shared on a daily. I didn't even know her favorite color! Apart from the confirmation that she just loves pizza, I basically knew little to nothing about her.

That thought sent splinters of ice aimed at my heart. A whirlwind of emotions grew inside me, but before I could deal with them, my phone chimed.

Haatim was calling me.

Why was he calling me?

I almost didn't pick up the phone.

Almost.

But I did, mostly out of curiosity, and with a slight grudge hit the receive button, bringing the phone to my ear.

"So how does it feel?" he blurted. "How does it feel to take the one thing that your brother wanted so badly."

Here we go. "Haatim, it's nice to hear from you—"

"Stop with this crap, and answer me."

I swallowed down the anger working its way up my throat. "You cannot blame me for this."

"Oh, I can't?" He gave off a sinister bark of laughter. "I cannot blame you? And why the heck would I not? You took her away from me! You're a selfish, heartless!"

Ouch. "You're not thinking straight right now. I know you don't mean this." I hoped he didn't mean it. Despite feeling a sting in my heart, the way it picked up speed to hear those rude words from my brother, I willed myself to not unleash my temper. I had to stay calm. Composed. Because if I also didn't control my emotions, this would turn lethal.

"Tell me, does her family know who you really are?" he seethed, straight out ignoring what I had just said. "Tell me, Aarib, what would her family do when they found out who you really are."

"She knows who I am and that's what matters."

He snickered. "Are you sure about that? You think she'll choose you over her family? Just how delusional you really are. . .tch tch. So, you didn't tell her family everything?"

I clenched my teeth together, my fingers curling around the steering wheel as rage coursed through me. "What are you trying to prove here, exactly? What's your point?"

"That if her family knew you come from a family of ruthless mafias', they would have never even let her be in the same room as you! You're a pathetic, heartless idiot who was so desperate for love that the one girl which gets a crush on you, you lure her—"

"Shut up," I cut him off. The blood in my veins pumped harder, and even the lungful of air I was sucking in was doing little to nothing to contain my anger anymore.

He crossed a line here.

He should not have done that.

"Shut up right now. You don't know anything about what happened between us! I married her, and that's what bothers you. You had a foolish crush on her when she was just a girl! So grow up and just move on with your life, and please stop sulking like a child who didn't get his favorite candy!"

I was greeted by silence.

Outside, the world continued on normally, oblivious to the fact that my friendship with Haatim was barely hanging with a thin strand of thread ready to snap any moment now. I didn't want to do it. Didn't want to fight with any of my brothers—with the exception of Feroze—but an argument was getting inevitable the hotter his temper was getting.

"You knew—you knew how much into her I was." A crack in his voice—he sounded defeated and out of control and tired. "Do you know when I saw her in the arena that day, you were the first person I mentioned her to?"

My nerves narrowed at the sound of his grim voice. Guilt tugged at my heart. Sharp needles pricked at my skin, and I wanted nothing but to just disappear in the darkness.

I was not at fault here. Yet he was doing his best to make me guilt-ridden.

"I didn't know that," I mumbled honestly, swallowing down the different emotions working their way up my throat. "But I'm glad you did."

"I'm not so glad anymore." He took sudden shift south. "I wish I would have never told you so you wouldn't have had the opportunity to steal her from me."

"I didn't know she was the one!" I barked down the line, slamming a palm on the wheel, rage boiling inside my veins. "I didn't know, and I would have kept my distance from her if I knew! Do you think I like taking what's yours? You're my brother, you idiot! And I don't even know how this thought could even cross your mind, because it's just so sick."

This organ contained inside my ribs—this thing we call a heart whispered to me 'told you to stay emotionless' and at that moment while my brother was panting on the other end of the phone while he probably planned my murder, I wished I had listened. Sometimes, it's better to let go of someone.

Too late.

It was too late and even the mere thought of leaving Haya drove a knife right through my chest, twisting and turning its way through until it reached my heart and sliced it open.

And even though before they'd find me empty, now I was full of emotions. Love. Pain. Guilt. Fear. Remorse. Dread.

I wanted to feel numb. Numbness that I had felt all those times before I had talked to Haya—before she was partnered with me. Before, when we just two strangers who sneaked glances at each other in the crowded, stuffy school halls who wouldn't dare say anything to each other.

I wanted to feel anesthetized.

"But there is one thing I am very glad for," Haatim's sinister voice brought me back to the present. "I'm glad I have something against you that could end your relationship with her."

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A/N

HEY GUYS! ARE YOU ALL LIKING MY BOOK SO FAR? HEARTBREAKS AND DRAMATIC GASPS ARE ON ITS WAY!