Street Racer

Chapter 17

What did I just do? Why do I have such a hard time letting people in? Why did I not trust anyone?

I growled in frustration as drive my way to the races. It was in the evening, the sun sinking lower under the horizon. That inky reminded me of last night, and I slam my hand angrily on the steering wheel. Everything reminded me of him.

I pulled into the parking lot where we had the races a few days ago. I pulled into a parking spot, and as I did, I noticed Aaron's Dodge parked a few spots down.

"Dang it," I mumbled to myself. I stepped out of the car, but, for some reason I wasn't in the mood for racing.

So I stayed back, away from the crowd, and decided to fix up my car, like I usually did. I opened the hood.

It wasn't long before someone noticed I was here.

"Can we talk?" Aaron asks. I breathe out in frustration, set down my wrench, and turn to him, cleaning off my grease stains hands on a rag. I flick my eyebrows up at him to tell him to go on.

My mind goes back to last night, when it was raining, and we kissed in his car. I was scared he was going to freak out now about how I left him after I told him I liked him. Was I making this too complicated? I felt guilty all of the sudden.

"Can we talk about yesterday?" He asks. I knew it. I take a deep breath.

"Look, Aaron, I'm sorry about that... I feel like I led you along, and it's all my fault. But, things are going on in my mind right now, and I can't keep them all apart, and I don't need a relationship to get in the way."

He keeps his gaze down at the pavement. I want him to look at me, for me to look into those blue eyes. But he keeps his eyes down.

"Luna, I can't help but feel like I did something wrong or..." He trails off. He looks up finally, and I immediately which he had kept his stare down. Those blue eyes only made me feel more sad, more guilty. I glance away.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Aaron. I'm just trying to keep too many secrets, trying to avoid getting in trouble with a lot of different people, and scared of my own emotions."

At the last part, Aaron looks over at me. I know I've let my guard down, and I hated doing that. He already knew my story, knew about why I do all this. But know he knows how I feel about him, why I'm making this so complicated.

"Your scared...?" He says kindly. His lips are curved in a small, caring smile, and I look away with a deep breath.

"Yes, I am. I'm scared of my feelings for you, okay?" I look over at him, but then quickly look away, "I'll admit it, I'm scared. The girl most people think is courageous and brave and tough is terrified of everything. I guess you could say my bravery is just a cover for what I really am." At the last part, my voice breaks, and it sounds like I'm about to break down into tears.

"Luna, I never meant for you to get hurt," he says. I look at him, shaking my head, I set down the wrench in the toolbox, open the passenger side door and set it in there, closing the door behind me.

"Last night was a mistake, Aaron. I'm sorry," I walk away before he can say something. I get into the driver's seat of my car, and slam the door shut. I glance over at Aaron, who sits on the hood of his car, his eyes closed. I shake my head and drive out of the parking lot.