Me Or Them (Voltron Klance)

O~N~E

Keith's POV

Day 213

I train. I save worlds. I save my teammates. I fight not for my life, but EVERYONE ELSE'S. And yet, I'm still on thin ice.

With each passing day, I found it harder to be in their presence. I couldn't stand their cold distrusting glares stabbing me as I poked at my dinner. I couldn't stand being alone. I had no one anymore. Shiro thinks I've been lying about who I am since he met me, Allura wants me dead like all the other Galra, Lance, who I love, hates me because I might be a spy, Pidge thinks I might know where her family is, and Hunk...well, he's hard to read. It doesn't seem like he hates me, more that he pities me. I honestly don't think he's capable of feeling hate.

Last month, the others found out I'm Galra. And that's when they all lost trust in me. After EVERYTHING I've done for them, they don't trust me.

They're the only family I've ever known. Though, the fact I'm Galra destroyed all that. Voltron is all I have. I finally have a purpose. Why can't they see me? Keith Kogane. Not Galra scum. What do I have to do? How much do I have to sacrifice?

How do I prove I'm faithful to Voltron? That I'm faithful to Shiro and Lance and Pidge and Hunk?

Will my death make them feel safe? Should I leave? I don't want to die. But, if they want me to, I will. After all, I don't have anything else. No family. My dad's dead. My mom's somewhere enjoying the sonless life. And Shiro can barely look at me without grimacing. I don't have anyone else. No friends. No relatives. Nothing but a shack.

They're better off without me, aren't they?

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I slammed the journal closed, tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving voltron. If I did, I'd die. All I wanted to do was fight Galra and have fun with the other paladins. But, how can I when they hate me?

I collapsed onto the bed, tears falling into the sheets I laid on. I closed my eyes, hoping to let sleep consume me. But, sleep never came easy to me. Especially now.

Shiro's POV

"He's late." Allura said, as she impatiently tapped her foot.

We were supposed to be doing some training today, but Keith is late. Really late. Doesn't that boy know he's on thin ice? I can't tolerate this behavior. After everything he's done, lying about his Galra heritage, he misses training? It's like he wants to get kicked off Voltron. One more screw up, and it might prove he's really a spy.

I'm livid. The boy I basically raised, a Galra spy? He lied about being Galra, what else has he lied about?

I left the room, without a word, and pounded on his door. I heard a small yelp and a bit of scrambling before he hurriedly opened the door.

I looked at him. He was pale and there were obvious dark circles around his eyes. I noticed his usual dark grey shirt was a bit baggy on him. He looked at me, surprised. I'm pretty sure he was sleeping. He was probably racked with guilt about betraying Earth.

I sighed, avoiding eye contact. I couldn't stand to even look at him.

"You're late for training. Hurry up." I said.

He got the message. Before he can say anything, I left. Every fatherly instinct I felt for him was gone. I can't love him anymore. After everything the Galra did to me, I can't just love one of them. I feel nothing for him. Nothing but distrust. Keith is dead. Dead to me.

Keith's POV

After training, I felt so sore. Real sore. Allura pit me against Pidge, who is really feisty and angry. I haven't eaten lately and was weaker than usual. So, she tossed me around like a fucking rag doll.

Coran, being the only nice adult, asked me if I needed a pod, but I didn't feel like I deserved it. I just went to my room, skipping dinner again. Not that anyone cared or noticed I hadn't eaten in the past two days. Wasn't hungry. Couldn't face them. Couldn't handle their deadly glares. I sighed. Should I suffer more? I deserve it, right? I deserve to die like the other Galra soldiers, right? I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself from having another panic attack. It was like my mind was at war with itself. There was a part of me that wanted to die and a part of me that had hope for the future. I didn't know what to do. I was so confused and conflicted. They don't want me here, but they need a red paladin...maybe I should search for my replacement and then die...that would be the least I could do...but, I don't want to die...! Ugh! What should I do?! Talk to Shiro? Maybe I should talk to Hunk and ask him to talk to Shiro...I bet if he knew I was suicidal, he would empathize so much he would have to talk to Shiro. Or...he'd think that I was just lying again and using that as an excuse for them to be nicer to me...they would definitely think I was lying!

Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place.