TYPE (RedVelvet X Reader)

GOOD ENOUGH

Y/N'S POV

"Thanks for inviting me on this trip Y/N I had a lot of fun"

"Anytime Irene, I had fun too"
The trip was amazing I don't know how to describe it. Irene and I grew closer but I think I just confused myself more. She was my first time and you should've seen her face when I told her I was a virgin, people say you get attached to your first time but I don't know. The guys actually really liked Irene. They treated her like they have known her for years and it actually warmed me up a little to know that she got along with them so easily. She truly is amazing and if I could go back I wouldn't change anything but this is gonna come back to hurt me in the future, I don't know how but I know it will.

I drove Irene home and after I decided I would go for a walk on the beach since it's close by. When I got there some early joggers were passing by and some old folks where walking their dogs.
I just took my shoes off and walk near the water letting it hit my feet, It was cold but very calming. The morning was nice,the sun has barely woken up and the song birds nearby sounded very clear not being canceled by the busy streets and noisy people.

"Hey" I heard a voice call out and when I looked up I saw Joy. I haven't seen her since I ran away from her.I wanted to say something but how could I explain something I can't exactly wrap my head around. I gave her a small hi and continued my walk.

"Am not worth your words now Y/N"
I stop and walk closer to the dry sand, sitting down patting the spot next to me. She sat in front of me blocking my view and making me look directly at her . I couldn't.

"Say something Y/N"I really want to Joy but how does someone apologize when they've done something unforgivable? I know I hurt you Joy, so my silence is the only thing I know won't hurt.

"Y/N, I'm gonna be honest with you but could you give me your attention" I feel her fingertips slowly lift my face to her and I see the tears filling up her eyes I wiped the tears and agreed to give her my undivided attention.

"Look I'm not here to beg for you to choose me or to ask you to be mine ,cause I'm h-hurt....and I really want to fix myself before I can face you with my feelings" her tears fall and I wipe them away again pulling her into a hug but her weight made us fall flat on the sand looking at the clouds. I pulled closer to me and she rested on my shoulder, our hands held together on her stomach. This was the first time I've felt nervous to be around Joy. She's always smiling which makes me smile with her.

"I'm here because I care about Wendy. She's a mess and it killed her when she saw those pictures of you and Irene together" I used my other hand to play with the bottom of her sweater which was pink ,it reminded me Yeri.

"She loves you Y/N, just like all of us do but Wendy was the first to say she loved you and you didn't say it back" my hand had now moved under her sweater and shirt tracing the lines of her toned stomach. I never really had a strong connection with Joy but I still had on. She was more of a friend then a potential girlfriend. She always said things in a joking manner so when she confessed I got scared that maybe she was playing again. I have no right to say I don't want to be played with when I hold the hearts of 5 girls who I don't deserve.
But a part of me though that Joy would be the safest choice. I know she would always laugh with me but the rumors of her being a player got to me a little. I hid all of this and just let myself think that all her feelings were jokes. I'm sorry Joy I love you but I'm scared that I'll fall for you and I end up not being enough for you.

"look Y/N my heart belongs to you and I'm pretty sure you know that but I need it to survive so please don't play with it."I heard her voice start to shake. I want to tell you that everything is going to get better but I don't want to lie and act like I know. I haven't gotten to understand you enough yet.