ADDICTED

15

JAMES

I didn't stop moving until Leah and I were in a taxi, speeding back to the hotel.

Finally, I looked at her face. She stared blankly through the window.

This weight I had never felt before hung onto my shoulders and chest. I wanted to beat the shit out of someone. I wanted to beat the shit out of myself.

The sight of that pig holding her down, pinning her teary face against his lap. My blood burned like fire in my veins.

I didn't kill him but I wanted to. I couldn't bring the death of a gang leader upon myself, though. It was bad enough that he'd seen me and we interacted.

That wasn't supposed to happen. As soon as I finished talking to his guys, I realized where she was. The VIP loft.

The leader's personal play area. He was notorious for drugging and raping bookers.

I should have known better. I should have protected her better.

"Are you alright?" I whispered.

Leah slowly moved her face toward me. A few speckles of mascara clumped under her eyes and her hair tumbled carelessly from the elastic. My hands clenched in my lap. I wanted to reach out to her but that didn't feel right.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

"I don't think you are."

Taking a snotty breath, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand and straightened. "I will be. I just want to take a shower."

We didn't talk the rest of the ride. As soon as the taxi stopped in front of the hotel, Leah was out and walking into the lobby. I paid the driver and hurried after her.

She was already at the elevator. I glared at anyone looking even remotely in her direction and stood close behind her.

The heavy feeling filled all of me now. I felt like a lead ball.

Leah stepped into the elevator once it arrived and I followed. We took it to our floor and I walked her to her door. Swiping her key, she opened the door and turned back to me.

I slid my hands into my pockets. This outfit made me feel vulnerable, as if I was the insecure high school nerd all over again. I was out of my element for every aspect of this conversation.

"Will you order me some food?" she asked.

"What do you like?" I would buy the whole fucking kitchen and its staff, right this second, if she asked me to.

"Tater tots. Lots of them, please."

The heaviness pushed in, crushing me, and I felt something snap inside. I touched her shoulder before she went into her room. She jumped.

"Sorry," I whispered. Plenty of thoughts rushed through my mind but I wanted to get them out in the right way. She must have seen the conflict on my face.

"Just the tots, James. Thank you."

Her eyes glinted. The brokenness splintered down to my soul. She slipped into her room and closed the door.

My eyes squeezed shut. She was right to hate me. I should have never put her in that situation. I should have known she would end up there.

Fucking shit.

I needed to do more than get her some fried potatoes, but at least it was a good place to start.

I went to my room across the hall and called down to the kitchen. They would all get bonus tips if they expedited the order and added extra tots. I ordered a beer for myself and some chocolate cookies.