Chloe Cullen 4 - A Harry Potter and Twilight Crossover

Chapter 17: Conflicting

I have a lot of mixed emotions as Easter break for Hogwarts comes closer and closer. I am really excited to get back to school and see my friends and boyfriend, but I'm really nervous about how different it'll be. I got a letter back from Fred saying that he understands why I didn't write and he's just glad I'm not sick anymore. I'm terrified that he'll smell too good to resist and I'll be tempted. While in Denali, we take a trip to Anchorage and I get to be around a lot more humans and, while they do smell amazing, I don't lose control. I haven't lost my control since my first day as a vampire. I'm hesitant about my eye color. It's not red anymore, but instead an amber color. My parents say that I shouldn't need contacts, but I don't know. I decide to bring along some violet contacts just in case.

The faster school approaches, the more I stay in my room at Tanya's house working and studying, since exams start after Easter break, and I can't take any chances since I haven't been to school in months. The teachers keep sending me mountains of homework, and it makes me thankful that I don't sleep anymore. I idly wonder how Harry, Ron, and Hermione are making it through all this work. By the time my parents decide I can return back to school at the end of Easter break, I still haven't decided for certain what emotion I'm feeling.

My parents insist on walking through the barrier with me even though I told them repeatedly that they don't have to. Even though there's only a couple of Slytherins on the platform, we talk in a voice so low that human ears can't pick it up. "We have complete faith that you can control yourself," mom tells me. She gives me a bone crushing hug, but I can handle it now. "And if you can't," dad starts to say. I pull away from mom and hug him. "Get away from the situation. The teachers all know that you're a vampire now, so you should be fine," he continues. I pull away from him and hug the rest of my family. "Thanks for your help," I finally say. "That's what family is for," grandma says. After I hug Renesmee, I get on the train.

I'm thankful that I'm able to find a compartment to myself. The last thing I feel like doing right now is dealing with Malfoy and his gang of Slytherins. For a lot of the train ride, I debate on how I want to surprise everyone. We should be getting there around the time when the rest of the school is going down for dinner. Should I use my newfound speed and beat them to dinner? Should I hunt down my friends in the crowd and sneak up behind them and scare them? That would be hilarious. Or should I not even bother going to dinner and instead, I surprise them in the common room? Going to dinner is extremely tempting simply because I want Fleur to see me. I also need to think about what would cause the least amount of disruption. I think heading straight to the common room would be the best option. It would cause the biggest surprise and it would possibly make it easier for me to draw less attention.

After I've decided what I'm going to do, I read for the majority of the rest of the train ride. Mostly so I can draw less attention to myself. Eventually, though, I finish the leftover books I brought thanks to my increased reading speed. I decide to touch up my makeup. Yes, yes, I know I don't need to be drawing more attention to myself, but I still haven't gotten over how perfect I look and I love how the makeup makes me look! I cannot wait to see the look on everyone's faces! I wonder what Fred will think when he sees me.

Time has moved a lot faster now that I've become a vampire, so it doesn't take as long as I remember to get back to Hogwarts - although it's still nighttime. When the train comes to a complete stop, I linger a little bit longer than necessary in hopes of getting a carriage to myself - or at least missing the Slytherins. I've been ignoring them the whole ride, but I can hear Malfoy and his gang a couple compartments down. They're laughing about some jokes they made regarding Harry and what might come up during the third task. A few minutes after they've left the train, I decide it's safe enough to exit.

The whole time I walk up to the carriages, I look around. It's as if I'm a first year again. This time, though, I can hear all of the animals that call the trees home. I purposefully look for the creatures, wondering how many tiny spiders I'll find. By the time the carriage reaches the castle, I've counted 96 tiny spiders that human eyes would have a hard time catching. I would love to see the look on Ron's face if he knew how many spiders I counted. I'm entertaining myself with that thought when I'm distracted. My throat burns. I can smell humans. Lots of them. Thankfully I went hunting around 1 in the morning, so I shouldn't lose control. Countless heartbeats accompany the smells. Some smell better than others. Instinctively, I listen in on some of their conversations. "Why did the teachers assign so much homework? We don't take O.W.Ls until next year!" one student says. "I'm starving. I hope the food is good. I wish there were less foreign dishes," another says. "I'm so going to fail exams. I never learn anything in potions. I hope Professor Snape will still let me in his second year potions class," a first year says. I start to pick up the pace a little when I hear the new password for Gryffindor tower. Neville had to ask Dean for it.

Once everyone has entered the castle, I finally go in, and I stop dead in my tracks. This castle is so beautiful! I can see so many more details now that I couldn't pick up before. There are some carvings on some walls that are really high up. I also notice that this castle isn't as clean as Filch thinks it is, but I don't think it would be a good idea to mention that to him. Even though I'm almost to the Gryffindor common room, I can still smell the human food from the Great Hall, and it is gross. So many different smells combined is enough to make me throw up - figuratively. I make it to the common room in record time. There's still a fire going, so in attempt to make my hands somewhat warmer, I sit in front of the fire and try to warm them while I look around. There are so many more shades of red and orange than I had noticed before. So many, yet, they complement each other so well.

I debate about whether or not I should wait in my dorm room, but then I decide to just wait in the common room instead. That way I can surprise everyone at once. My other reason behind just waiting here is I have a letter to write to my parents. I promised them I'd write as soon as I got back.

Dear Family,

I got to Hogwarts okay. The train ride was uneventful. I arrived just as everyone was going to dinner, and boy did I notice it. My throat burned, and I didn't even begin hunting! I'm proud of myself. Also, I think the smell of all the human food turned off my appetite a little bit. I'm in the Gryffindor common room right now, waiting for my friends. I don't know how I feel yet. Nervous, excited, scared. You name an emotion, I'm probably feeling it. Hope everything is going well with you guys.

Love,

Chloe

I decide to send these off with Maple in the morning. I also chicken out of waiting in the common room. Instead, I wait in the dorm room. To a human, it wouldn't appear that I'm doing much. A vampire might recognize, however, that I'm listening. I'm listening for when the other students will be out of dinner. After 32 minutes, I hear different movement from the Great Hall. Students getting up from chairs and dispersing throughout the castle. Some of the voices get farther away, others get closer. I decide to get out a book and pretend to read when they walk in. A minute and a half later, I hear voices in the Gryffindor common room, and my throat burns. Some of them smell really good. Just a slight sniff makes my throat burn wildly. I hear footsteps getting closer. You're not thirsty, you're not thirsty. You hunted earlier for Pete's sake. Although, hunting again tonight might not be such a bad idea. I'm completely focused on reigning in my thirst when I'm distracted by the dorm room door opening.