falling in love with a gang leader

chapter 54 (colby's pov)

sam: "why did brennen make you a target? you never did anything to him." he said quietly, his face sour.
colby: "i seriously have no idea. i get we're rivals, but if that were the case, in which it's not, then why would my picture be the only one with the marking on it? emma's picture doesn't have a target on it. just a really large, colored-in exclamation point that really doesn't make any sense. what does that even mean?" i asked, my voice tinged with disgust. i flitted through my mind trying to think of reasons as to why brennen would want me as a target and why he decided to take emma instead. she shouldn't have been caught in the middle of this. she shouldn't have been caught in any of this. the kidnapping, the invasions, the emotional scarring in the practical sense that emma is constantly worrying about all of this mafia shit that is necessary but dangerous... it's wrong for her to be in the situation she's currently in. not to mention, that i was the one who snagged her into this. if i hadn't been so damn obsessed over her, none of this would be happening. it's only been eight hours that we've been looking for her, but damn, i miss her. and the way she sobbed and couldn't stop is cemented into my brain as my last time seeing her face before she went MIA. she hasn't contacted anyone. katrina claims that she knows nothing, but i call bullshit.
sam: "colby," he sighed loudly, "we've lurked every corner that we could possibly think of in our city of LA and she hasn't shown up yet. maybe we should give it a rest until tomorrow and look for her again in the morning. i'm exhausted and it's already almost 4:00am." he yawned, his eyes red and tired.
colby: "yeah, you're probably right. we should get back." i said sadly, tracing my pointer finger over emma's smile in the picture on the bulletin board.
sam: "hey, don't worry. she'll turn up soon." he replied after a beat, clasping my shoulder gently before we both shuffled cautiously out onto the street, making sure that brennen or any of his recruits see that we were here.
colby: "i'm almost tempted to call her again, sam."
sam: "you can't. if brennen has her, that could turn out bad for her." he said gently. i sighed, knowing that he's right, and walked behind sam back to the bunker.
elton: "did you find her?" he bounced up to his feet, looking hopeful, once sam and i entered through the front door.
sam: "no, nothing. not even a trace of her. this is bad. she would've turned up by now. and she's not answering any of our calls or even attempting to reach out to either one of us... any of us." he said sharply, sounding unfortunate. i just want her to come back. i don't like this feeling in my stomach. the feeling of emptiness. like a black hole... a deep, dark, scary pit of nothing... a hole larger than the size of two earths combined. the anxiousness, the anxiety... i have never in my entire life been this worried before. not even on our pursuits have i been this nervous. in all honesty, i feel alone. and it's not because emma broke up with me and went MIA... bit because i feel like i'm the only one breaking my back to search for her. sam was loads of help, but he tried to give up at least six times other through the search for emma. i just don't know what to do or how to handle this. it's all just so... nerve wracking. ignoring the conversation between elton, sam and katrina, i walked up the stairs to my bedroom. i briefly wondered where kevin had gone, but brushed it off because it's none of my business. he was probably just tired and went to bed... not a big deal at all. i sighed, gazing at myself in the large mirror in the upstairs bathroom. my face is red and puffy... swollen, even, and my eyes were bloodshot red, the veins in my eyes striking like three tons of lightning bolts at the same time. i took off my shirt and stripped myself from the bottom half of my outfit and hopped in the shower, turning the temperature lever to blazing hot. sighing in relief, the heat of the water beats into the tough skin on my shoulders, causing my entire body to relax. turning around, i rest the palms of my hands on the wall and allow the water to run over my face and drench my hair, putting most of my weight on my shoulders which were holding me up. i per my head up towards the shower head and squinted my eyes, willingly letting the heat of the water burn my face. it wasn't long until i had finished up in the shower and jumped in the large bed that i share with the person i miss the most at the moment. lying on my back staring at the ceiling, i realized that my bed feels cold... cold because my other half isn't here to warm up her side of the bed. i can't even say that it's my bed anymore because it's our bed. the bed i am currently lying in is emma and i's bed. it's no longer just mine. matter of fact, everything in this room is shared between her and i. and yes, i am aware that we are not together, but i choose to believe that she didn't want to do it. that she didn't want to break up with me. i have a deep feeling that she felt like she was forced and didn't have a choice... wherever she is. i hope that she's okay. i hope that she's safe and isn't in any pain because that's the last thing that i would need. she's already missing and the last thing i would need to make me feel worse about myself is her saying that she's hurt... physically and/or mentally. either one would be bad.

my eyes blurry and forcing themselves to open, i peek over at my phone screen that's filled with notifications and see that it's 12:00pm. clearing out the unimportant shit in the notification center of my iPhone, my heart skips a beat. i shot up to my feet, feeling my heart beat faster and faster when i see a missed call from emma. i pinched my upper arm a few extra times to make sure i wasn't hallucinating and i felt my breath puck back up. she called 3 hours ago, but i didn't hear my phone ring. my fingers practically trembling, i dialed her back and waited for her soft, sweet voice to enter through the opposite end of my cellular... but all that came through was a long, loud, ear-piercing beep that was annoying enough to make it seem like it had just slapped you in the face. i call her again a few times more, but no answer. no, no, no! i missed my chance! she finally called back and my ass was asleep! no! emma, baby, please... call me back! i race downstairs to see everyone on the couch on their laptops.
colby: "guys! she called me!" i shouted, running towards the group. kevin and elton looked at me like i was crazy before they jumped to their feet and reached their hands out to grab my phone.
elton: "well, what did she say?" he shouted in excitement.
colby: "i, um..." i paused, scratching the back of my neck, "was asleep when she called... i can't get through to her now." i grabbed my phone back from elton.
kevin: "colby!" he whined.
colby: "what! i'm sorry!" i said, stress coating my voice. damnit!
sam: "what's all the commotion?" he asked, his voice groggy, as he walked out of his bedroom yawning.
elton: "emma called colby but numb nuts was asleep and didn't hear his phone ring, so now we can't get through to her."
sam: "when did she call?" his eyes shot open wide and he was suddenly as ready as a basic man with six shots of espresso in his system would be.
colby: "three hours ago." i said sadly, hating myself for not being awake. this was the only lead that we had to finding to her and i screwed it up. dumb ass!sam: "did you try calling her back when you woke up?"
colby: "yes, sam. of course i tried." i rolled my eyes.
kevin: "well, we're not going to get anywhere if we just sit around here all day. either we go and look for her or we do nothing and give up hope. she's not dead, we know that for sure, so we don't have to worry about that, but we do have to worry about where she is or where she might be."
colby: "isn't that what i've been telling all of you? you guys were the ones sitting on your ass while sam and i physically attempted to look for emma. what were you guys doing? researching shit that we've already researched?" i paused, taking in the shocked look on their faces, "she is not trackable! she is completely off the grid as of right now! her location, security cameras on the streets... she's wiped from everything! research and the basic internet isn't going to help!" my voice was raised and sharp as i continued.
elton: "don't you dare, son! yes, we've been doing research and trying to track her, but you can't make it sound like we haven't done shit to help! i know your upset, colby! we all are! but don't stand there and throw a fit, blaming everyone that you can see because you hate the situation we're in! it's not like we chose to be here... it just happened! and we don't know what to do, okay? so, stop! stop your bullshit! we all need to work together!" his voice was loud and his face was... angry. i could visibly see the steam coming out of his ears.
sam: "elton's right. we all need to work together. sitting here screaming at each other isn't going to help anything." now, granted he's correct from every aspect there is to his statement, i'm also partly correct... at least i think i am. i admit, i shouted when it was uncalled for and rude, but can you blame me? i'm lost, i'm hurt, i'm confused, i'm stressed... how else do i handle this? i am not drinking. hell, i'm not even thinking about it. emma already broke up with me for who knows why, i don't need to give her another reason to be upset with me or have her leave me if she ever comes back. i can't risk that. she means way too damn much to me and once i get her back... well, if i get her back, i hope and pray to god that i won't unintentionally screw it up somehow. i won't mess it up. i won't do it. not this time... not ever.