|who i am|

|fourteen|

|Sun's POV|

I fumble with my phone as I sit on the bathroom floor. I should call him. I need to call someone. I can't sit here alone. I can't do this on my own, but I'm too scared to do it. I don't want to cause problems for him. I don't want to cause problems for anyone.

I should just step down. I should just give up and go home. If I leave without anyone knowing what's happening, they can't be mad, can they? They won't blame me for leaving, will they?

I need to call him. I need someone to help me figure this out. I can't do it on my own. I hesitantly click on JongHo's number and hold my phone to my ear.

"Sun?" JongHo asks groggily.

"JongHo, I don't know what to do. What do I do?" I sob as I rock back and forth.

"Sun, it's three in the morning and I'm tired as hell. You're going to have to be a little more specific if you want me to understand." JongHo yawns as I stare down at my trembling hand.

"I can't. If I do—if I do they might hear. They can't hear, JongHo. Please come get me. Please." I plead as I lay on the cool bathroom floor.

"I have to be up for six, Sun. Can't I just talk you through it over the phone?" JongHo sighs.

"No. No, you can't. Please, JongHo. I'm scared. I'm so scared." I sit upright and hold my stomach as my chest tightens.

"Calm down. Go get something warm on and meet me out front of your place." JongHo gives in as tears fall down my face uncontrollably.

"Please hurry." I whisper as I take a shaky breath.

"I will. Try to calm down a bit before I get there, okay?" JongHo mumbles as the sound of him crawling out of bed echos in the background.

"I'm sorry." I reach up to rub at my eyes.

"Don't be sorry, Babe. I've told you a million times that I'm here when you need me. Now go get something warm on, I'm leaving as soon as I get my shoes on." JongHo instructs as I struggle to get to my feet.

My legs don't want to work. It's almost as if they're jelly. Standing up has never been this hard before in my life.

"I love you." I whisper softly as I stumble toward the bathroom door.

"I love you, too." JongHo responds before hanging up.

I glance down at my pajamas. I can't go back in the room to change. I can't wake Aera up. I'll just have to wear this. I'll just grab my coat and a blanket off the couch. That'll keep me warm enough until JongHo gets here. It'll have to.

I freeze as the sound of an opening door sends shivers down my spine. I can't face any of them right now. I just can't.

"Sun?" NaHee whispers as she rubs her eyes.

NaHee stops in front of me in confusion as I lower my head in attempt to hide my tear stained face. She slips her fingers under my chin and forces me to look her in the eyes.

"Come on, baby." NaHee takes my hand in hers and leads me into her room. She shuts the door quietly and flicks her light on.

I stand next to the door with my head down trembling. I can't tell her. She'd be so upset.

"Talk to me, Sun. We didn't have our chat after the meet, so let's do it now." NaHee holds my hands and leads me toward her bed.

"I can't tell you." I state softly as my stomach churns.

"Don't worry about hurting me, Sun. I'm supposed to take care of you. If something is wrong, you need to tell me so I can help fix it. Did one of the girls say something to you? Did someone at the fan meet do something? Did you fight with JongHo? You've got to tell me." NaHee attempts to get it out of me, but I can't do it. I can't do this to her.