Torn 🤎 (Completed)

Chapter 20: Confusion

Mia💛 POV

To say that I was bewildered and confused by what happened between me and Zane was a total understatement. I didn't want this, it was the last thing in the world that I would want. But, I would be blindly lying to myself if I continued to say that I didn't feel anything at all for Zane. No, I definitely felt something for Zane which was clear by the way that I blushed just thinking about the taboo things he made me feel just the other day. I liked it, plain and simple. If I didn't, would I have screamed out and begged Zane to irrationally shove his thick cock deep inside of me even though we were out in public with our friends just feet away? I wasn't that delusional. The thought of it still had my heart pounding. I was ashamed that I wanted to finish where we'd left off.

Thinking about the way that I lost my godforsaken mind and the way that Zane had total control over my body while I whimpered was driving me insane. It should be illegal for him to be such an expert with his hands. Chills rain down my spin while my vagina shuddered at the thought of Zane slowly strumming my clit like a seasoned musician. I couldn't get the sexy image of him wrapping his pink lips around my dark nipples while he sucked and licked them into hardened peaks. My pussy couldn't stop clenching at the endless assault of dirty thoughts floating in my head. And that was what scared me the most. I was frightened by how easy it was for Zane to break my resolve and set up a residency in my mind.

If anyone knew me, they knew that I was big on the saying, "you should practice what you preach." And for the past 11 years, I've done just that. I've encouraged my younger brother to stay away from situations like these. And for myself, I've definitely made sure to stay clear of entangling myself in the businesses of white people. No, I don't go out of my way to be rude or mean to white individuals. However, I've also never considered purposefully associating or entertaining someone of the caucasian race. Why would I do something like that when I couldn't trust them. Mike trusted his girlfriend. Better yet, he even had a son with her but that obviously didn't change shit because he was still betrayed by the woman who claimed to love him.

Constantly thinking about my brother's murder and harboring negative feelings for so long is another reason why I was terrified about admitting my attraction to Zane. Being enamored with Zane went against every negative feeling I'd indoctrinated myself with over the past 11 years. Zane was annoying and stubborn but at the same time, I could see that Zane seemed honest and genuine when it came to caring about me. My rational mind wondered if I could trust Zane, especially since we'd just met not too long ago. But my irrational mind was craving his touch. So the questions I now had were, what did I want to do? What could I do? Did my newly found feelings change anything?

On one hand, I had Jared who I was supposed to be meeting with tonight at his house. I knew exactly how Jared felt about me and in the past week, we'd even hinted at us making our relationship official. I was attracted to Jared but I also had an unchecked attraction towards Zane too. I thought back to when Zane pleaded with me about exploring a possible relationship with him. I shook my head frustratingly because at the time, Zane had made it crystal clear that he wanted to give us a chance. But at the same time he warned me that, if I rejected him, there would be no coming back from that. And me being me, I easily rejected Zane with no questions asked. Except now, I was confused about whether he would stand by his threat or not. His words said one thing but his actions this past weekend said something entirely different. Regardless of what Zane previously threatened, somehow his hands still caressed all over my body and deep within my pussy. Maybe I did have a chance...

I exhaled heavily. Was this me admitting I wanted another chance with the guy?  Maybe... I thought back on how he demanded I cum all over his fingers. I'd never felt such a warm sensation race through my body which was heightened by the fact that his thick penis was pressed against my stomach. Zane felt strong and in control while I melted into him.