A Beautiful Mess.

19.

"Nooo! No, No, No, No, why'd she—"I yelled as I stood in my room completely in shock of what I saw. My mother's box was open and I was regretting having left it on the nightstand in the first place. I was hesitant to move any closer. I was scared that I would see what was inside. Sindi stood on the other side of the room wondering what I would do next.

I moved closer, close enough to see exactly what was inside. There were old pictures, a few envelops, a watch, Niko's water console and a book.

"You want me to put them back for you?" she asked and I shook my head.

"It's fine, I'll put them back"

"Do you want me to give you space?" and I shook my head again. I wanted her to be here with me as I looked through the things my mother had kept for me. I felt a wave of emotions all at once and I could feel every pump of blood my heart made. I sat on the bed and Sindi sat next to me and we looked through the contents of the box. We looked through the pictures which were pictures of my mother during her days in varsity and some of my baby pictures. The envelops were still sealed and were addressed to my mother but this was in her hand writing.

Hmm...strange.

I picked the book up and read the title. The book was a romance novel by Danielle Steel and looked like it was a gift to her from someone. Next to the book was a gold watch which was engraved with my mother's initials and the initials of another unknown person at the back. She probably got it as a gift too.

We looked through everything but not much progress. It just felt like one big box of mystery. At that moment a lot of questions ran through my mind and the only person who had the answers I couldn't ask. Why did she leave this for me?What are in these envelops? Who got her the gift and who's initials are engraved with her's at the back? Could the initials belong to a man? Could this man be my father?...Father?

My entire life, its always been me and my mother. She played both roles of a father and a mother to me and I never really felt any different to everyone else who grew up with both their parents. My mother was so good at playing both roles that I never in a million years thought about my father or felt the urge to know him. But all of a sudden I had the urge, I felt the need to know who he is, probably because of what I had just been exposed to. Was this the reason why my mother left this, so that I could figure out who he is or did she leave me this for other reasons.

"What could this all mean?" I asked Sindi and all she could do was shrug. She was just as clueless as I was. At that moment I knew that Luniko was right. I was never ready and I would never be ready to know what was inside. The only thing I could do was open it and brace myself for whatever was inside. Fortunately for me I didn't have to open it...because Nyakallo did it for me.