A Beautiful Mess.

29.

After our talk I walked Luniko out and hugged him goodbye. It felt good having this opportunity to iron things out with him and I believed that things were about to get even better for the both of us.

After he left I turned around and realised I had forgotten that Senzo was here too.

"Hi, you forget about me" he waved and I sat next to him. The movie was over and was probably already over by the time Luniko arrived which meant Senzo was staring at a blank screen the whole time I was talking to Luniko but that also meant that he heard everything.

Mam'Gladys had come to pick Nyakallo up about 10 minutes ago and Senzo felt too comfortable to leave yet so we chilled in my room. I sat on the bed and scrolled through Instagram while Senzo snooped around my things.

"Ncaaa you looked so adorable" he said looking at one of my baby pictures. I had kept myself occupied to even bother myself  about what he could possibly come across. I mean he could even look through my old diaries for all I cared. Most of them I wrote in primary so it's not like he'd know about the people I was talking about.

"Is this your mom?" He asked as he sat next to me holding one of the pictures my mother had put in the box which meant he opened it.

"Yes" I nodded as I looked at the picture.

"You look like her, like your eyes and your nose. You guys look like you could be sisters"

"Ya, people used to say that a lot"

"Used to?"

"Yeah...she passed away about a year ago, so..." I shrugged.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?" He said trying to be careful of the way he said his words. Nobody had I asked me about it and honestly speaking I didn't want anyone asking because of how hard I tried to forget about it. But no matter how hard I tried the memory followed me.

"Kidney infection...she had passed out in this very room while helping me paint it. That's why you see it half done...ever since that day I couldn't sleep in this room again or alone for that matter"

"Seems like it was a hard period for you"

"...It was...I had just gotten my scholarship to Kingston then and we were pretty excited about it. Sindi had also just moved in with us so that she was closer to her new job at the studio. Things were looking up for us" I said as I looked down and fiddled with my fingers to distract me from crying. The day she died I promised that I'd be strong for her and I hadn't cried since then, no matter how big or small a situation I faced I told myself that I wouldn't shed a tear and I've been going strong in that promise. I don't know though if it was healthy of me to do that but I did it anyway because once I make a promise I try my very best to fulfill it.

"It was a really an uneasy time for me *sigh* my health was deteriorating and I had started a new school with people from a completely different background to my own. While you guys paid to be at that school I had to work hard every single day to keep my place, I still do...Suffered a huge dose of imposter syndrome and I always had this urge to have to continuously prove myself so that you guys wouldn't just think of me as that 'girl from the township'...it really wasn't easy for me, having to build a life for myself without her, it was difficult but here I am standing strong"

"And I'm sure she'd be very proud of you" he replied. "You work really hard Melo, always putting 110% effort into everything you do and still make it seem easy. And you being able to stand up for yourself and being unapologetic about it is a very admirable trait about you. You've got a bright future ahead of you"

"Thank you" I really appreciated Senzo's words, they meant a lot. Usually I'm a person that doesn't like seeking validation from anyone but it still felt good to know that he thought of me that way. Senzo and I have really grown closer and we've formed a bond. He's actually not the 'stuck up' guy I thought he was before. He was actually quite down to earth and showed a whole lot of humility. Had you told me a few months ago that Senzo and I would be sitting in my room like this being civil, I wouldn't have believed you. It must've been one of those unexpected friendships that Sindi spoke about.

I showed him more pictures of my mother including the picture I had found a few days ago that was taken on the day of my birth. I also told him about the letters I had been reading that I presumed my mother wrote to herself. Senzo then looked inside the box and saw the watch which he then lifted up to get a closer look of.

"Is this your mother's?"

"Ya"

"Did you see it had initials engraved on the side"

"Ya, the first one's are my mother's and the other initials, I don't know who they belong to"

"Maybe your mother mentioned who gave her this in one of the letters that you hadn't opened yet. For all you know this could be your father's. Don't you want to know who your father is?"

"I haven't really thought about my father so I don't know if I want to know who he is. I think it's best that he stays a mystery"

***
Tuesday.

"And how are her wedding preparations going?" I asked Mak who laid down on the grass next to me while I doodled in my maths book even though I was supposed to be doing my homework.

"Good I guess. Okay not that good"

"What do you mean?"

"She wants us to have a brother-sister dance and you know I have two left feet so that's going to be a disaster. And these YouTube videos are just useless"

I laughed at Mak for a moment before saying, "Just let her lead then and you'll follow"

"It doesn't work like that Melo"

"Okay get up, let me teach you"

"Melo please don't" he complained.

"I want to help you. I'm not trying to have my best friend embarrass himself in front of his family and in-laws, now get up" I insisted but he persisted to fight me until I just gave up.

I continued to doodle in my book while he chewed on some gummy bears that he had stashed in his blazer pocket.

"I have a plan on how we can sort out this Andre situation" I said and Mak's chewing stopped as he looked at me in confusion.

"We?"

"Yes, me and you, together"

"No no no no, Melo I don't want you getting involved ,you're going to make matters worse"

"Well I'm already involved and Andre is about to get it. He should've thought about that before messing with my friend, now listen, here's the plan"
I explained my plan on reporting Andre without having Andre suspicious of Mak being involved behind it. The plan was to have me write an anonymous letter to Mr Brian, who was in charge of discipline in the school, tipping him about Andre's whole scheme and having Mr Brian catch Andre for himself. It sounded solid to me but Mak didn't look convinced.

"I can write it so that its in my handwriting and not yours just in case Mr Brian shows him the letter and he thinks it's you"

"Melo do you realise you're a girl and he's operating in the boy's bathroom, its not going to be convincing"

"Then we can send an email, can we send an email anonymously"

"I don't know. You know what Melo just forget it, I'll just keep my mouth shut and hopefully someone else will report him"

"So I'm must just sit back and pretend like he isn't using you as his punching bag, ngeke Makalo, I refuse"

"Melo, I really don't want to argue with you right now, just stay out of it, for your own safety. I'll deal with it my way" he said then he grabbed his things and left. I couldn't believe it. So he was just going to give up and let Andre have his way with him. There had to be another way. I refuse to see Mak get hurt knowing that there's something I could've done. I had to do something even if it meant Mak not knowing about it.