Night Shine

Love And War

Nicole's POV

 Waking having Jason's arm around me feels good. I love him so much.  I lay still and listen to the quiet house. Scarlett is still in deep sleep. She needs it the pain had woke her several times before it was over. I miss Nikki and Courtney in bed with us. I didn't have the strength to pull away from him last night. Jason's rejection of me last night had hurt. It made it easier to fall prey to my instincts. The mating bond isn't like having a life mate. It's just mother natures way before we came up with marriage to keep a male wolf around to protect a female till she can shift and defend herself and her cubs. My only experience with it had been with the four I had been traded to. I grew to hate them and feeling the need to please them had been disgusting. They hadn't liked it either. They resented having to hunt and care for me. The leader finally came back one night in a rage. He had grow tired of the ungrateful runt. I was a child I didn't know how to hide my hatred. He went berserk beating me severely. When I went into labor I knew my cubs were dead. They left me out in the forest to die. Till now I've never allowed myself to bond. It made sense since I was only there to breed. When Jason had offered to bond. I was to frightened. If I hadn't bonded before I could have ran. Now it has just complicated things. We get a good whiff of each other and we want to have sex. I have Nikki on the brain as much as he has Nicole on the brain. I want to do nothing but please him make him want to stay. He feels the need to protect, to keep me safe. His stern words with Jason last night is only the tip of the Iceberg of the roller coaster of emotions coming. Our need for each others company will only get more intense. Jason has thought ahead and has already started setting up a birthing room for when I start to den. I'm not unfamiliar with the last month bitchiness. The room is  for every ones safety.  I'll only except a certain few to be near me close female relatives and the father of my cubs. I hope Nikki won't start to resent me for the way I make him feel. I don't think I could take it when I'm starting to have real feelings for him. The guilt I have over coming between Nikki and Courtney eats at me.  I don't want to cause her pain. I'm trying to stay away.

I hear the cubs. It's time for the day to  begin whether I want it to or not. I drag myself out of bed to care of the cubs. Yennefer follows behind me. Nikki and Courtney come in a minute later yawning. We wrestle babies into new diapers and clothes they don't want to wear. Then we head for the kitchen for breakfast. Jason is already there drinking coffee. He glares at Nikki. I thought Jason had dealt with his emotions over our situation until last night, he was seething over it before he took my sister to bed. He has allowed resentment to fester and Nikki is feeling his aggression. I fear they will fight if this isn't defused soon. 

Jason slams his coffee cup down on the table spilling it. I groan. I guess soon is now.

"What the hell is wrong with you Jason!" Nikki growls standing to avoid the hot coffee.

"You took what was mine!" he growls standing to face Nikki.

"She carries my babies. She is mine. I can't believe I let you touch her." Nikki's eyes glow.

"I've waited to long for her to let a  hybrid upstart claim her. Boy I'm going to rip you to pieces!" Jason seethes.

"Bring it on old man!" Nikki taunts

Their eyes glow as they size each other up. Neither are thinking straight. They are shifting but not into wolves. Their nails and teeth are growing. I've seen this change before, in the four I was force to mate.

"Yennefer get Courtney and the children out of here." I whisper. She drags Courtney away with her struggling. The little ones scamper away in wolf form.

I can't go to either of them. In the state they are in it would seem like I was choosing one over the other. I whimper I don't know what to do. They are becoming werewolves. In a moment of desperation I rush between them. I shake in fear. They are now the things of my nightmares. My childhood fears springing to life. I'm that twelve year old cub again being chased by two legged wolves. They fall on me each taking a turn. They don't fit right but they don't care. My pain filled screeches just excite them more. Then Leader is smashing his fists against my flesh. I panic at the sound of my four cubs hearts stopping.

"Calm Nicole." Jason whispers.

"Our babies are fine, just listen." Nikki says gently as he strokes my hair. 

I look into two sets of eyes one brown the other green. They are full of gentle concern. I'm held tight in Jason's arms. Nikki holding my hand. They are human again.

"What is the drama now?" Lance demands as he comes through the door. He's followed by Jake, Jesse, and Luke all Alphas. Victor is last to enter he rests against the frame. Jason sets me in a chair and sits next to me. Nikki joins us. They both hold my hands.

"Courtney, Yennefer, Please come." Victor gestures to them. Once they are seated he continues. "Wolves don't live in limbo. They either do or don't. You lot are way passed don't. It's no ones fault but Circumstance have landed you all together whether you like it or not.  You all need to become true mates a real family. 

"I can't let Nicole or Yennefer claim me. I can't take vows that will make me break the ones I've taken with Courtney." Nikki interrupts Victor.

"You've already fulfilled two. You've been her lover and given her cubs. I think you can handle the others to protect and provide. Committing to her Isn't going to make you want her any more than you already do. As for Yennefer allow Jason as a your brother to take your place during her heat if it bothers you so much. We just would prefer you and Jason not to kill each other over mates." Victor states calmly.

"Don't just think of yourselves. You two are dangerous to the ones around you in the state you were in." Luke points to the cubs huddled together in the corner.

We've all been dancing around this from the beginning. We all have our own reasons. Nikki and Courtney whisper together. We give them their privacy. It's Courtney who finally pulls me close and gives me her permission. I bite his chest gently. Then I urge Courtney to the bite I had made. She's reluctant at first with a little encouragement she claims. Nikki nips her gently barely breaking skin. After Yennefer leaves her mark. We nuzzles together. Jason hangs back.  He touches the faded mark on his chest.

"Come on brother we need you. We can't take the place of the family you had. But We can give you a new one." Nikki holds out his hand. Jason takes it. Once he's near I pull him close and mark his chest below the faded one. I sigh when he marks me in return. He and Yennefer claim each other next. Nikki gently presses Courtney to Jason. Jason gives him a bemused look.  "Do it before I change my mind." he growls. 

As I'm healing Courtney's bite her face lights up. 

"I can hear all of you in my mind." she smiles wide.  

"Now you hear and feel our love for you." I return her smile.

"Don't you men feel better now." Victor smirks.

"Yeah we no longer feel the need to kill each other." Nikki chuckles.

Scarlett is awake. She comes rushing into the kitchen and wraps her arms around me. I hold her tight. Lance rests his hand on her head.

"When the moon rises tonight. We will all mourn the loss of your cubs with you." he whispers. "Come they need time as a family." he addresses his colleges and promptly exits out the door. 

I stroke my daughter's hair as she weeps. In three more days more tears may be shed over lives lost when we confront Damon's pack.