A Time To Mourn

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Nikki's POV

As the waning moon rises other wolves gather around us with barely a sound. They are silent as they wait. Suddenly Scarlett's keening breaks the silence. It's horrible to hear so pain ridden. Nicole joins her daughter's keening with a mournful howl. The girl's father adds his voice a moment later. Her betrothes begin a keening howl. Then the rest of us join even the little ones until the night is full of our mournful song. The song rises and falls changing as wolf voices rest and then rejoin keeping the dirge constant. Nicole and Ashton support their daughter as her keening turns to one last heartbreaking howl. Nicole brings the dirge to a beautiful close with a melodic howl. The night is quiet again except for one young girl's weeping. Just as Silently as they came the wolves slip away leaving our family alone once more. What a beautiful way to release grief.

We walk back to our home together in a tight group. The children are wore out and want to be carried. Thank god there are enough adults and teens to deal with them. I have Ruby and Tom. Ever since I gave him jerky the first day we met we've been best buds. We will have a full house tonight all of Nicole's children and grandchildren are staying the night. She is very proud of them. It's funny a female wolf everyone thought was stunted and wouldn't be able to carry any babies to term. Now has twenty children four on the way and several grandchildren. She went from being a low ranked female to one of high status. I guess she showed them. Something strikes me as hilarious as things sometimes do. Some of her status comes from mating well and her daughters marrying Alphas. Talk about sleeping her way to the top. I hear a mental giggle.

"No insult intended Sweetheart." I immediately jump to reassure.

"None taken." Nicole whispers and brushes her cheek against my shoulder.

Inside we work together to put cubs to bed and find places for everyone to sleep. The younger men volunteer to sleep on the large back porch. Even as tired as we are we're restless babies included. I hear Nicole humming then she begins to sing a lullaby to the cubs.

Sleep my dear cubs strong and brave is your father

He will keep the hunters at bay

Sleep my sweet precious cubs your mother is never far

Listen little ones to what I say

Dream of beauty of sunlight and moonlight

The feel of the breeze blowing and the scents it brings

Dream of beauty of green meadows and clear streams

The feel of the earth under paw and listen how nature sings

Sleep my dear cubs strong and brave is your father

He will keep the hunters at bay

The whole house is quiet. I guess everyone needs a lullaby once in awhile. Nicole comes joining us on the porch. She hugs us both. She eyes the beer in Jason's hand with a worried expression. I give her an I got this gestures.

"Courtney and Yennefer are already asleep. I'm going to join them. Don't stay up to late you two. I'm certain Adan has a morning of training for you both tomorrow. Goodnight Loves." she sighs

"Goodnight Nicole." I say softly. Jason says his goodnight and yawning she heads off to bed.

"I'm sorry about this morning." he says quietly and takes a drink.

"Me too neither of us were thinking straight." I apologize.

"At least you have the excuse of the mating bond or the nine month brain fuzz. I was just being an ass." He huffs and downs the rest.

"If someone was sniffing around Courtney I would have lost it too. I know you love Nicole." I sigh.

"It wasn't just you, others have made offers wishing to co-mate. I finally just lost it." he groans and opens another beer.

"Who." I growl

"I'm not telling you. Your brain is on a dose of Nicole or as Sean and Nate like to colorfully call it you got your cock caught in the noose." He chuckles downing half the bottle.

"Ok." I laugh.

"Of course if their mates hear that they may not be getting close to that noose anytime soon." he quips finishing off the bottle. His demeanor changes he grows quiet as he touches the bite scar on his chest.

"Jason I can't imagine what it was like to loose the woman you love." I whisper

"The only thing that held me together was my son and daughter." he closes his eyes for moment. "When I first saw Jolene. I was absolutely floored. She was a green eyed red haired beauty. I didn't have a chance in hell. She was an Alpha's daughter destined for an Alpha or his heir. I was only a son of a second birthing. I wasn't my father's heir. We would sneak into the forest together as much as we could. Then A miracle happened her father opened her mating run so she could choose her own mate. I ran so hard to be the one to catch her." he chuckles sadly. We were happy for many years. We had started our own family and a new pack. A group of hunters were spotted near our home. I sent the women and children into hiding and confronted the hunters. It was a short encounter. I went to the hiding place. She wasn't there neither were my cubs. A few of us raced back along the trails. We found her with an elder woman she was helping. Both were dead. She was pregnant so she couldn't shift, but she had manage to hide our two year old cubs inside a hollowed out tree. The things they did to them Nikki. They butchered her our unborn cubs cut from her body." I hold him as he weeps. Then I lost Benjamin and Bella and the rest of my pack during an ambush. Why did they let me live? They should have killed me because I became a monster. I hunted them down and killed them one by one. I joined the packs who were openly fighting nothing quenched my rage. I was no good for anyone. I still should have been there for Nicole she was a promised child. I should have claimed her. She was my responsibility and I left her with that bastard to be mistreated. I've failed so many. What If I fail again?

"The things that happened weren't your fault and you've stood by Nicole for years. Come on I think we need our mates." He stumbles a bit as I help him to his feet. I'm not sure how much he's drank tonight. I do know it's time for him to sleep it off. We make it to the bedroom and I help him to his side of the bed. He crawls in between Yennefer and Nicole and immediately passes out. Both sisters wrinkle their nose in an Identical expression at the stench of alcohol. They cuddle up to him anyway. I chuckle softly and crawl into bed next to Courtney. I'm Tired but my mind just won't shut off tonight. I think of Jason's lost family. I think of Nicole. What I saw in her memories this morning. When I think of Nicole at twelve all I see is a little girl like her Identical twins Rowen and Willow. They don't even have the beginnings of a women's body yet. How could they. I glance at her back bite and claw marks scar it. She never wears anything that exposes her back. She hides them like she does her mental scars the men in her life have caused. I gently run my fingertips down her back. She moans softly and rolls to face me. I gaze into her honey colored eyes. I take in her sweet scent and just like that I want her. Courtney nuzzles my chest in her sleep. Shame washes over me. My wife is right between us. Poor Nicole blushing turns away burying her face against Jason's chest. I think I agree with Sean's and Nathan's analogy, it is like getting your cock caught in a noose.

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