The Captain's Choice// Kuroo x reader

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 𝕗𝕚𝕧𝕖

Kuroo did not come upstairs. He must've stayed on the couch and I was thankful for that. I tossed and turned unable to sleep at all and the last I needed was him asking me if I was okay every thirty seconds. 

I gave up sleeping and instead picked up my volleyball notebook reading over everyone's notes. I stopped at Kuroo's name tracing it with my finger. I read over what I'd once scribbled out angrily with a small smile: 

'Tetsurou Kuroo: handsome devil, third year, strikingly good at volleyball. Can woo a girl in a matter of seconds!'  

"Ha, yeah right." I scoffed, but read it again. 

I gasped when a drop of water hit his name and closed the book. I was crying. This won't do at all. I'm pushing away the guy I love for caring about me. I twisted the promise ring on my finger full of regret and self hatred. I moved to the side of the bed picking the contraption up to strap it back on with a glare sent its way. 

I struggled down the steps and slipped out the door after a quick glance at Kuroo sleeping on the couch with a wet face. He'd been crying too? What could he possibly be crying about. 

I walked in the night with my eyes looking towards the stars bitterly, "Why did this have to happen to me? I was living such an amazing life." I snapped at the sky mercilessly then glared down at the contraption I would not call a leg. 

It seemed to be doing better to me. It was not taunting, but encouraging, so I ran again. I ran as hard as I could with tears of pain at the pressure of it, but I thanked the metal for it. I thanked it for giving me the penance I needed and deserved. 

He was dead and my love hated me. My team can't look at me without pity. 

I stopped and looked back up at the sky letting out a scream of pure agony, "Why the hell did it have to be me?!" I screamed out, "I'm alone! Can't you see that? I'm all fucking alone!" 

A small squeak came from my leg drawing my attention back down to it. I thought I hated it, but I loved it. It was what I deserved. I let my hand touch it and bent down to glide my fingers along it. 

"You and I are one. You are what I deserve." I whispered to it before calmly standing back up straight and walking again. 

I found myself back at the park and braced myself against the locked gate to catch my breath after running once again. 

"Y/n!" I heard my name being called from farther away. Had I woken Kuroo up? 

I let him continue to call my name and find me himself. He walked carefully up to me and I scanned him for something I didn't find. 

"What is it?" I asked just as careful as he was acting. 

"You slipped out and thought I wouldn't come looking for you? People kidnap girls you know." He crossed his arms. 

"So I can't take care of myself now?" I snapped. 

"Oh please, I have to open your water bottles sometimes!" He scoffed, but I wasn't angry. Was he referring to me, or my injury? He seemed to notice my hesitation. 

"What? You can run now and you showed me very well you can take care of yourself, so I stopped worrying!" He yelled now forcing me to soften. 

"Tetsur-" 

"It's Kuroo, remember? Kuroo." He cut me off. 

I felt like I'd been sliced in half as he paced in front of me like a caged tiger, "You can't even see the amount I care for you! I planned on taking all this as long as you were okay, but what do you do? You fucking leave in the middle of the night! You won't even do as much as let me help you up the damn steps! Can't you see that even people with both legs can't do it on their own? You need fucking help, Y/n! Not because you're hurt but because you're human!" His words had crept to a screaming yell. His eyes flashed with a challenge I did not take. 

I put my hands over my eyes letting the tears fall hard. He did not move once, but watched me with anger. Tears fell down my face and shook me hard until I had to slide down the fence into a fetal position to keep from falling. I looked up at him and cried harder when his anger seemed to build. 

"I don't know why I can't just accept all of this!" I whimpered out. "I killed a boy and this is what I deserve!" I gestured to my leg. It was not a contraption, but it was my leg and my responsibility. 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kuroo pointed his finger at me cornering me with his glare, "You didn't kill anybody! You weren't driving and you didn't push him in front of it! You saved me and you tried to save him and your leg should remind you of your courage! Not something that isn't even your damn fault! Bassui is not your damn fault!" 

"I didn't save him!" I tried reasoning, but he laughed sarcastically. 

"Yeah? And I didn't save you! Do you think I don't feel like a piece of shit everyday for not pulling you with me when you tried shoving me out of the way? Why do you think I've been trying my damndest to smile past your bitchy attitude and take care of you? I'm fucking sorry Y/n!" He fell to his knees in front of me in tears. "I'm fucking sorry." 

I scrambled to lift him up and he hugged me as tight as I hugged him. Our tears fell onto each other as we cried hard against each other unable to say anything. 

He buried his head into my neck, "I'm so fucking sorry." 

I pet his head, "I am too. I should've never treated you that way. You are all I have and I love you. I'm sorry." I tried to soothe him, but only made myself cry again. 

Kuroo separated himself from me to look me in the eyes, "No matter what could've happened, I'd take care of you. You are still my Y/n, my baby. I do not see you different. Please know that." 

I nodded and thought his words through. He cared and I pushed him away. 

"I know what you're thinking. Don't apologize again. We both fucked up." He wiped my tears with his thumb. 

I held his hand onto my face and leaned into his touch, "I don't know how you put up with me honestly." I smiled with my eyes closed at the warmth of his touch. 

He pulled me onto his lap and hugged me again, "You are mine and I plan on marrying you. I will never abandon you." 

I let him hold me in silence. The street light illuminated the houses lined up and the street we sat on with a yellow warm glow. The road was hard, but Kuroo held me keeping me comfortable on his soft lap. He'd always been my comfort and I'd never noticed it. 

"If we stay out of here we might catch a cold." Kuroo whispered and we laughed lightly together. 

I kissed his nose, "I love you Tetsurou." His first name made his eyes light up. 

He kissed my lips with pained softness and separated before kissing me again with less pain. 

"I love you too my baby. I always will."