The other side

14

Meryl dropped her cellphone and sat on the floor. Something was not right, though she did not know what or why. She tried to figure it out, but couldn't; she was broken, fragile, dying inside slowly. She sat there and cried, cried until she couldn't feel her breath, her arms, her hands. Again, all she had was the fear and anguish; she did not even have her breath. Her chest was hurting, she wanted to disappear, she needed help.

She needed help, she needed to breathe, she needed to feel secure and loved. She was drowning, her body was tingling, she was dying. The only thing Meryl could do was looking for her cellphone. She barely could see the numbers, but she called Don.

"Hi, darling. What's up?" - Don answered the call. No response. "Darling?" - he asked one more time, but Meryl couldn't answer. "Are you there?" - Don was concerned.

"Don" - Meryl said shakily, almost without sound.

"Darl, what happened?" - he was desperate. She was shaky, crying, and hysterical. "Breath, darl. Take a deep breath"

"I... I... can't..." - she was trying to breathe

"Darling, take a deep breath. Come on, breathe with me" - Don took a deep breath, hoping that she would do the same. "Babe, splash some water on your neck. Calm down, darling" - he said kindly.
He heard the sound of the water, she was doing what he had told her to do.

"I'm... I" - Meryl tried to explain the situation, but couldn't. She was crying hard.

"Darling, breathe in through your nose and count to four. Hold your breath and release it as you count to seven" - Don said. She was now calming down. After some minutes, she could breathe and speak. Don was worried because he had never seen her like that; of course, she had been anxious or something, but never like that time. "Darl, now you can tell me what is up?"

Meryl felt exhausted and completely out of control. "I don't know" - her voice was almost inaudible.

"I'm going home, darl. Stay there" - he said firmly

"No, no, babe. You don't have to be here with me. I'm silly and crazy..." - she was terrified she was getting him out of his work, which was more important than her outburst

"I'll be there in a minute. Bye, darl" - he hung up the phone.

Meryl didn't know what to think or feel. She was tired, her body was aching, she didn't have the energy to do anything.

>>

Don went straight to see her wife, something was up, then he needed to find out what was that. He saw Meryl sitting on the couch with Judy and sat beside her, hugging her.

"Hey, darl. How are you doing?" - Don asked.

"I'm sorry, babe. I don't know what's wrong. I feel like the world is ending, I don't know what the hell is this. I'm a failure... I'm not a good wife, I'm not a good mother, I'm overrated. Look at me, I am a failure" - Meryl was deprecating herself

"Stop, Mary. Stop right now. You are not, you are the love of my life, you have always put our kids, our family, first. And, god... shut up, you are an amazing actress, you're an artist. Darl, don't say that, don't do that to yourself. Stop, stop. And if you're feeling that way because of yesterday, you don't have to; it's fine. Don't hurt yourself that much, darl" - Don said, trying to calm her down.

"No, it's not because of yesterday. I was just thinking about my life and how lucky I am. I don't deserve all the love and happiness I have. I realized I have been given too much, but I haven't given anything. It's not fair. You're the one who has been patient and understanding, you are always here to help me and me... I'm tired of always needing to be fixed" - Meryl was crying