The other side

21 (tw)

Hey there! It's been a long time, I know and I'm sorry. Thank you for waiting, reading, and commenting. I've been through a lot and that's the reason why it took me so long to update the fic. I'm sorry.

Well, I wanna say that your life matter and you're important! If you're needing help, don't feel afraid to ask for it. You are loved, talented, and special. Always remember that.

TW: suicide, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, panic.

***

She had a tube in her nose and was feeling sore. The room was spinning and everything so cold and dark. Her mind was somewhere else, she couldn't remember anything; actually, she didn't want to remember. It was confusing, everything; she didn't even know where she was.
In that white room, there were two people, her and a cop, or whatever that man was. She was dizzy, her head heavy, and the stomach... Lord, what the hell was that pain?

Don was watching her through the glass window. Her delicate body, covered with tubes and needles. Why did she do that? Why? His heart was breaking; it hurts to see your loved one almost lifeless. Now he could only listen to her heartbeats.

Meryl opened her eyes, everything so blank, she couldn't feel. Well, she was hurting physically but was empty inside. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Don was deep in thought when the doctor came out to tell him the news. Don felt relief and scared.

**

"I just wanna say I love you so much. We all need you, M. We all love you" - Don walked over her. She wasn't 100 percent conscious, and couldn't do more than glance at him. "Darl, I love you. I need you with me, in my life. Our kids, they need their mommy".

**
Later that morning, Mer woke up more conscious and unfortunately feeling worse. She wanted to cry, run away, scream, die. She didn't know what to feel. Beside her, there was her friend, love, husband. She couldn't face him, not right now...

"Hey, Mrs. Gummer, I'm Laureen, your doctor. I see you're doing better; we almost took every dirt out of your stomach" - the doctor came in and Don got up, walking away.

"Hi" - Meryl said emotionlessly.

"We need to know what's happening in that beautiful mind of yours. So I gonna ask you some things. Ok?" - The Dr. Sat in front of her.

"Well, do I have any options?"

"No, not really. Well, no if you don't wanna have any problems dealing with this situation"

"Fine" - Meryl sighed.

"I wanna know why you're here"

"Aren't you seeing?" - Meryl said impatiently.

"Ok, let's try again. How you feel?"

"Sore. Everything's hurt. I wanna be home"

"How you feel deep inside?"

"I don't know. Empty maybe. Helpless. I hate myself right now. I have everything I need, it's ridiculous being here. I hate this person I am"

"First, it's ok. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. Second, I'm sure you're not this person whom you hate right now"

"I don't even know what happened yesterday" - Meryl began to open up.

"You took too many pills and alcohol. They said that you fell in the lake. Do you remember?"

"No, I can't remember anything"

"And today, how you feel about what happened?"

"I don't know. I wanted to disappear but not to kill myself. I lost it. That's all" - she closed her eyes.

"Mrs. Gummer, I think it's enough. I'll be back later, ok? I'll call Mr. Gummer to stay with you"

Don entered the room. "Hey". He held her hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" - Mer let out a sob.

"No, I am sorry. I love you, M. I love you so much. Never do that again, please. I can't live without you. This is not your fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" - Don whipped her tears.

"I don't know what's going on, Don. I don't know"

"Darl, you gonna be just fine. Calm down. Everything's gonna be alright" - Don caressed her hair.

"My stomach is killing me. I'm gonna throw up" - she sat up with Don's help.

"Here" - he handed her the bucket and rubbed her back.

"This is horrible, Don. Awful. My stomach is burning, my throat. Everything"

"Calm down, darl. Don't speak"

"Let me say one thing. Don't tell the kids, not yet. Please"

"Ok, darling"

***
Two days later she was released. She would have to see a doctor and a therapist. Don had cleaned up the house and got rid of everything that could be harmful.

"Here, let me help you" - They got in the house.

"Darling, I'm fine. Relax" - she looked at him affectionately.

"I want everything to be perfect" - Don insisted.

"Hey, you know I wasn't your fault, don't you?" - Meryl said.

"Darling, I fucked up. I know I did" - Don looked down.

"Don't do that. It's not your fault. I can't blame you for what happened" - she hugged him. "Please, let's try again"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" - he cried.

She looked up at him. "Hey, it's ok. We'll be fine. I'll be fine"

**